So Far From I Expected

19

I tidied round and made the bed; washed the dishes and built up the fire. Water heated over the flames as I laid out my Sunday dress and reached down my silver ribbon.

With the bolt secured across the door I undressed and began to wash my body in the water I had heated. I splashed my face and rinsed my mouth before drying myself by the fire and combing my hair.

I looked at myself in the small mirror hanging on the door, the way my hair fell across the top of my b****ts, my stomach smooth and my waist small. My hips flared out and my legs were shapely and the patch of curls between my legs was tidy.

I flipped my hair upside down and tied the silver ribbon over my left eye, as I flipped my hair back I could see my curls fall back into their natural position.

Pulling on my dress and tying the waist tightly, I began to feel stupid for looking at myself in such a way. Everyone told me I was beautiful, I knew that. Pride in my beauty was something I had never experienced before and now that I had felt it I was ashamed by it.

I knelt before the fireplace and in front of Jesus on his cross and prayed, I apologised for my pride and prayed for guidance over the next few weeks. I blessed myself and stood to pull on my boots.

It was 9 o clock, by the time I walked to the town it would be 10 and hopefully Theodore would be happy to see me. I pinned the small bunch of lavender to my dress and wrapped myself in my shawl, wishing I had something more special to wear. Taking one more look at myself in the mirror and a deep breath I walked towards the door, only to be met by a booming knock that made me jump and fall backwards into the table, knocking the chairs and the big dresser causing all of the delph to fall onto the floor.

‘Caireann, Caireann are you alright?’ Theodore called through the door. I crawled over to the door and undid the bolt. He burst in through the door and dropped to his knees, running his hands over my face and asking me if I was hurt.

I started laughing, the look on his face I couldn’t help but find amusing. ‘Oh I’m fine Theodore; just you scared me that’s all! Why are you here? I was about to walk to the town to see you. Is everything ok?’

He pulled me to my feet and I brushed down my skirt. The front of my Sunday dress was ripped and I saw the extent of the damage to the table and our delph.

‘I wasn’t going to let you walk all that way in the cold, in Junaath; we collect girls from their door.’ He looked down at my dress, ‘Oh, Caireann your dress! And your table, the cups! Everything is broken!’

The panic must have been evident in my face. ‘Oh Theodore what am I going to do? The table! The delph! Everything! Mama is furious with me already! My dress even!’

‘We can fix this! Get changed Caireann, we can fix this.’ He pulled me close to him and kissed me softly. ‘I promise!’ he smiled and kissed my nose.

Theodore began to pick up the broken delph, careful to keep his back to me as I changed back into my work dress. He finished brushing the floor as I did up the last button at the front of my dress.

Theodore was looking at me when I looked up, ‘This ties in a little with what I wanted us to do today! Dress shopping!’ I looked at him quizzically, what did he have planned?

I pulled myself up onto Theodore’s horse behind him and wrapped my arms around his chest. I could see the women in their doorways looking shocked and disapprovingly at us as the horse cantered out of the village.

The horse slowed to a walk as we left the village. Theodore jumped down and walked beside the horse whilst I told him what had happened when he left He laughed when I finished and swung me down from the horse. ‘Caireann Black, one way or another I will make you the happiest girl alive! Your Grandmama knows it, I just have to prove it to your Momma!’

He kissed me deeply, one hand holding my waist close to him and the other fisted tightly in my hair. The weight deep in my belly and the heat between my legs began again. A moan escaped me as his tongue ran across my lips.

I dug my fingers deep into his shoulders, my body begging to be released, to feel his skin against mine and never have to stop.

I don’t know how long we stood there, but when our lips parted we walked hand in hand in silence beside the horse smiling at each other every now and then. It was comfortable.

As we entered the town, I felt the need to ask Theodore what he meant by ‘dress shopping’, and how he was going to fix the table, chairs and all the delph in the cottage. I had no money, it would cost a fortune.

He tied his horse to one of the trees outside The Bridge Tower with a small smile on his face and grasped my hand tightly. ‘If we want to have some fun today, we need to get new furniture and some china and you a new Sunday dress! So that’s what I mean!’

Laughing I told him we don’t use china, and tried to explain to him that I couldn’t let him buy us new furniture but he wouldn’t hear it. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into the main street where the big stores were.

I made moves to walk towards the market and insisted we at least look there. I picked out a collection of similar delph to Mama’s now broken stuff from a market trader and Theodore had them sent to his room at the hotel. Further down the street there was a*****e with chairs and wooden furniture outside. Theodore bartered with the sales man and bought a brand new table with chairs to be delivered to our cottage later that evening.

Theodore seemed to be enjoying himself, but I felt so bad that he was spending all this money on us when Mama had been so rude. People were staring at this dashing man in his blazer and hat, hand in hand with a lowly girl from the village.

‘Theodore, Theodore people are staring, I don’t feel very comfortable. Can we please go somewhere quiet?’ He looked at me and smiled, ‘No Caireann, we can’t. We need to buy you a dress!’ he kissed me gently and twirled me around his arm.

I couldn’t help but giggle as he dragged me excitedly out of the market and towards Castle Street. We stopped outside of Blandas boutique, ‘Theodore I can’t go in there; they won’t allow me!’ He scooped me up and marched towards the doors of the store with me in his arms.

‘Excuse me gentlemen, can you open the doors, my hands appear to be full!’ I laughed loudly, unable to believe that any of this was happening. When we got in through the doors Theodore put me on my feet and my mouth dropped open. It was so bright and clean. There was favric and designs for dresses everywhere and the people were all so grand.

I squeezed Theodore’s hand tightly and moved closer to him, people were staring again, rich people were staring. He kissed me gently on the forehead and moved further into the store as I gaped at the store around me.

A smiling woman greeted Theodore, but her face dropped when she saw my dress. ‘Hello ma’am, my beautiful friend here ripped her Sunday dress and would like to buy a new one! Also, we have a party to go to on Friday night, so she needs something special for that too. Can you oblige?’

The woman looked me up and down and nodded. ‘Follow me please, I’m sure we can find something.’ I squeezed his hand tighter as we walked towards a doorway into a room with plush green chairs and velvet curtains. There was a round table with bone china teacups set out, Theodore sat down and a girl appeared to pour him tea.

I was ushered behind a curtain; where the woman who had since introduced herself as Sheila began to bark instructions at two girls to undress me. They stood back when my dress fell to the floor leaving me completely naked surrounded by mirrors, I tried to cover myself up but there were so many mirrors.

‘You have a beautiful figure, stop covering yourself!’ She slapped my hand away from my breasts, and laughed to herself. She turned and I heard her whisper loudly to the girls, ‘I’m sure there’s plenty who have enjoyed her pretty figure.’

I bent down to lift my dress and cover myself, I had never felt so degraded. They hadn’t noticed I was getting dressed. I burst out from behind the curtain with only half the buttons on my dress done, Theodore looked at me, startled and confused. He was standing with an older gentleman and quickly covered me with his blazer.

‘Oh goodness! Miss, what is wrong?’ The strange man looked at me concerned and shouted to Sheila behind the curtain.

‘Theodore, please let’s leave. I can mend my Sunday dress.’ His eyes were dark and he looked furious as Sheila and her girls appeared in the doorway. ‘Explain this, why is this poor girl in this state?’ The older gentleman’s voice boomed through the room.

‘Sir, I don’t know what you mean! We were only about to put her in a dress, I turned round and she had gone.’ Sheila sniffed and folded her arms. The younger of the two girls looked at the older gentleman, ‘Mr James Sir, please let me take the girl myself. I’ll get her sorted out. Sheila can go and see someone else.’ She looked at me and smiled warmly, ‘I’m Sinead.’

Sinead reached out a hand to me and slowly I followed her. Sheila turned to leave the room and I heard Theodore raise his voice at the older gentleman and the woman Sheila.

‘I’m sorry about her; she’s so above herself. But she is right, you are very beautiful.’ She looked at me closely and giggled, ‘Let’s get you a Sunday dress and then we can have some fun and show you off in a party dress!’

A party dress, I had forgotten about the party dress! Why had he not told me we had to go to a party? Where was the party? Who was going to be there?

Sinead assisted me into a beautiful, soft wool, black and grey up and down striped dress that buttoned down the back and tied with black ribbon up the front. ‘This is a Sunday dress?’ I asked her in surprise. ‘It’s so beautiful!’ I giggled and twirled around the room laughing.

I heard Theodore’s voice and wanted to show him my dress, peeking my head out the curtain I could see him looking crossly at the floor, his hands clasped and brow furrowed. ‘Theodore, did you want to see?’

His eyes lit up as a walked out from behind the curtain. He stood up and walked around me, I watched him bite his lip as he came close to me, ‘You are so beautiful Caireann.’

Sinead clapped and jumped up and down excitedly in the doorway between the curtains, ‘Come on I have so much more to show you!’ I let her pull me away from Theodore and laughed with her as she unlaced my dress.

‘I’m sorry I’m so giddy Miss, I never get to dress people on my own, Sheila shouldn’t have been so nasty to you, but it means I get the chance to show Mr James what I can do.’

I stood again, almost naked dressed only in a while silk and lace petticoat dress before Sinead as she slipped a lavender silk gown over my head. It had a corseted top with black lace and ribbon, the bottom of the dress flowed down my body and swished when I moved. She laced me up tightly causing my b****ts to stand out and my waist to shrink. A shawl of black lace was draped over my shoulders and my hair pulled all to one side.

She knelt down and pulled off my boots. I stood into a pair of patent black pumps and glanced up at myself in the mirror. ‘What, who, Sinead!’ I couldn’t believe what I saw in the mirror. I looked so different, who would have guessed I could look like this.

I was tall and curvaceous, my breasts looked ample and my waist tiny. Sinead beamed as she stood behind me. ‘Oh Sinead, you have such taste! But, this must be so expensive! I can’t let him see me like this, please just pick something simpler and package it up. Something that’s not this grand. Please!’ I pleaded with her and she agreed sadly that she would package something else up.

Finally she brought in a plain grey woollen dress that buttoned up the front suitable; according to her for every day wear. I argued with her that I couldn’t accept it.

‘Miss, I have my instructions, you’re to wear this dress home.’ I allowed her to help me into the new dress, it was warm and soft. She had also brought me new boots which were soft leather with a small heel. I had never been more comfortable in clothing in my life.

The lavender I had pinned to my dress Sinead slipped into my pocket and I hugged her tightly. ‘Thank you Sinead. So much.’ She smiled at me and pushed me towards the round room to Theodore.