So Far From I Expected

9

I was woken up the next morning by the twins playing with the puppies around my head. Mama was stirring the porridge in the fireplace, looking happier than she had she had they day before. She was humming and swaying as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

‘Caireann, Caireann! Mama Caireann’s awake can we go now? Can we Mama? Can we?’ The twins ran to her skirts and jumped around her. On Mondays the twins went with her to Granny’s to ‘help’ with her little garden and play with the children next door.

‘Sit boys! For goodness sake you’ve not had breakfast! Give the girl a minute to open her eyes! She’s got a busy day ahead of her too!’ I wondered what she meant by that, I had no more than usual except to visit Mr Avital which of course I was dreading.

We had breakfast and the boys dressed eagerly. They bounced up and down by the door as Mama pulled on her shawl. ‘I’m sorry I shouted yesterday pet, I just remembered Frankie and was so cross and I can’t imagine why the boy was being so nice! And the way he looked at you Caireann, it scared me. You may be all grown up but you’re still my little girl!’

Cupping my face affectionately, she kissed my forehead and smiled at me as she walked out of the door. The boys bounded down the road in front of her with the puppies at their heels.

I fed Tommy his bottle and a little bit of porridge and we played on Mama and Papa’s bed for a while. I could hear the children begin to play outside and got myself dressed. I wanted to wear my hair down that day, something I rarely did as it was so long and wild at times. I picked a yellow ribbon and tied it in a bow over my left eye. I reached up to the rafter and took down my feather, tickling it across my face I found myself smiling and thinking about Mr Desala again. Tommy squealed on the bed, I tickled the feather under his chin and he giggled ecstatically and wriggled his little bottom.

I sang softly to myself as I finished my chores, Tommy was asleep and I had let my mind wander and again Mr Desala was on my mind. Opening the door to brush the dirt outside let a burst of cold air through the cottage. I leant the broom against the wall and scooped Tommy into my arms before he screamed the place down and wrapped my shawl around the two of us.

‘Time to go and see Mr Avital little one! Keep me safe won’t you.’ I kissed his nose and headed out into the cold to face the embarrassing situation that awaited me.

Saying my good mornings to all that passed, I could see the women and old men whisper about how I’m too old to still be at home and give out that my mother keeps me home to manage her children. I smiled sweetly at them all and say a quiet prayer that some gossip would be started about one of them.

I knocked gently on Mr Avital’s door, praying that he was out or wouldn’t hear, but before I had the chance to lower my hand he had whipped the door open and was welcoming me in.

His little cottage was warm and smelled like pipe smoke. He had tea in a pot on the table and a small loaf of bread and some cheese on a wooden board. There was even a little bowl of apple stewed and mashed for Tommy.

‘Sit down girl, and give me that baby! Come here you! Pour the tea now!’ He cooed and tickled at Tommy as I poured tea and cut the bread.

I felt awkward, worried about what Mr Avital would say to me. ‘Mr Avital about last night I’ before I could finish my sentence he told me to ‘Shh’.

‘Child, you don’t have to explain to me, I was young too once you know. That young man has his eye on you! I want to know what you intend to do about it! It’s time you were married and had babies of your own!’ He looked at me with affection and I couldn’t be offended by his words.

Mr Avital and his wife had been very good to me when I was little, before the boys came along. Mr Avital had taught me to read from the bible; even after his wife had died he was eager to have me visit. I was very fond of him.

‘He’s going back to the Junaath soon; I don’t want to be a girl he gets in trouble in Tynaia. And for goodness sake he’s, he’s, he’s worth a fortune! What would he want with me! I know how to cook and clean, look after children. What would he want with me?’

I looked down at me hands in my lap trying to hold back the tears. Although I had fallen asleep thinking about Mr Desala last night I hadn’t actually admitted how much of a little person I was until I said it out loud to Mr Avital.

I heard him get up and lay Tommy down on the little bed in the corner. He placed his hand on my shoulder and kissed the top of my head, the same way he did when I was little. ‘Caireann, you are so much more than that. You’ve never been meant to marry one of the village lads, or work in the big house. God has been waiting for the right time to give you your chance. This lad is your chance.’

I looked up to see his grey eyes watery and wise smiling at me. He sat down and took a sip of his tea and handed me some cheese. We talked about the twins, and all the little unimportant things we always found so much comfort in while Tommy snuffled in the corner.

‘Mr Avital, would you mind if I went up to the church and left Tommy here? I won’t be long and he’s sleeping.’ He smiled and nodded at me waving me out the door.