So Far From I Expected

10

I knelt alone in the church and prayed for some guidance. I was so confused and torn between what Mama had said, what Mr Avital had said and how I felt in my heart and in my head.

I looked around the church and wished I had some money to light a candle for Frankie. Father Cassidy appeared out of the vestry and smiled warmly at me.

‘You look troubled Caireann. That young face doesn’t suit a frown.’ Father Cassidy was a good priest, he didn’t shout or embellish during his sermons. He acknowledged he had a simple flock who loved God as much as he did, and he treated us well.

‘Hello Father, how are you today?’ He shook his head and smiled.

‘I am well child, but worried about that frown! Tell me what troubles you.’ I bit my lip while I thought of how to tell Father Cassidy about Mr Desala and all that had happened. He sat beside me on the pew and waited patiently.

I launched into the whole story; I didn’t leave out a single detail. I shocked myself at how honest I’d been. Father Cassidy didn’t need to know about my feelings but I told him anyway.

When I’d finished I looked over to find Father Cassidy almost giggling at me, I realised I had even told him I had wanted to light a candle for Frankie and assumed he was laughing at that. He lifted my hand and squeezed it tight.

‘We all have our trials Caireann, God will help to guide you and give you the answers you need. Go and light a candle for little Frankie, maybe he can help you too.’ He got up and walked away but couldn’t help himself from calling out ‘Don’t forget to do a decade of the Rosary for me too now child.’

So I did, I sat and prayed before having a little chat with Frankie in my head. I lit a candle, one that for some reason reminded me of him and left the church feeling comforted.