SWEET CONFUSIONS

CHAPTER 4

A lady stepping out of the elevator, wearing a beige long coat draped on her shoulders, black tailored pants and blazer suit, white crisp top, bright red leather belt, black pointed-toe high heels, adorned with silver and chunky red coral necklace set, and  a red Hermes bag.

People scrambling, running around, hurrying to they work stations, hiding and throwing away that would be an eye sore for the newly promoted Editor in Chief of Prestige fashion magazine. Well known perfectionist.

“Good morning, Boss.” Jessica greeting her boss, Natasha at the hallway, and following her to her office.

“Good morning. I need you to tell  Anita that I need her to rewrite the article and have in on my desk by 1 p.m. Tell her that Microsoft Word has a built-in spelling and grammar check, teach her how to click F7.”

“Mugler called confirming your lunch at the Le Bernardin.” Her assistant hands her notes from earlier calls.

“Mhmm...” Reading the notes and sitting on her chair. Jessica on the phone. A couple of minutes her assistant walked in with her usual coffee.

“Your driver will be her at 11:00 a.m. for the Lunch date, reserved  your usual table, and your usual Prix-Fixe tuna with fois gras and toasted baguette, baked lobster with butternut squash manicotti, and Spanish merluza.” Reading the itinerary for the day.

“instead of the lobster, I will get the scallop. Change the merluza and calamari to salmon. And I would want the petit fours this time. Have the driver pick me up by 12:30. Send a change of clothes to the studio later. I’ll be going on a date tonight.” Her assistant clearing all of the reports from her desk.

“Would that be all, Boss?” Jessica asked as she stands by the door.

“Dior sent this yesterday. It’s yours.”

“Aww Boss. Thanks. You don’t have to bribe me on staying. It works though.” Bows and smiling waving her new bag in the air. “ I have Daniel Nyiri on the line.”

Natasha picks up the receiver, “Hello, Mr. Nyiri...”

It’s been 2 years since the Judge issued me my divorce decree; I knew I would walk away from the negativity of my marriage. I was sure that my new life, my new beginning will be full of happiness and positivity. There was so many incident that I was bawling, and I thought this is going to be hard. I have to live... No.... Survive with the consequences of my epiphany.

The thought of deciding for a divorce without talked things through with James and I wonder if I’m going to live with the fact that I made a mistake. I would cry every night blaming myself of the failed marriage. The year wasn’t good to me, I was still adjusting on being single again. I finally have to admit what I really wanted was more than I expected from James.

I’ve been making excuses for him too much for too long. I told him I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I let him cheat on me twice. He said it is okay, it’s just s*x nothing more, and that he can’t live without me. He even called his sister to try to convince me to cancel the petition of divorce. He thinks I should be okay with “it’s just s*x” Bullsh*t nonsense?

He kept on sending messages. Some read, “Whatever it is that I have done, it was because of you...”; “You pay more attention to your work than me!”;.” Does your work love you back?”; “Just remember, I love you..;  “Whatever you did and didn’t do, I forgive you.” Making me feel guilty all the time and making me feel that it’s always my fault is his way to lure me back in his arms.

He was my first love, and who doesn’t remember their first love? But I’m putting my foot down. If he can’t let me go, I’ll do it for him. I had to let him go. I will let go. Was it hard to let go? Yes. Was it worth finding my self-respect?

Of course.

My friend Beverly fixed a blind date with one of her clients, Sebastian. He was recently single and  he owns a modelling agency. He’s a good friend of Clint Eastwood. And he has a yacht. And that’s about all I know about him. Beverly didn’t specify features or traits, she said it’s a surprise.

“Bevs, could you just send me a picture of him, at least?”

“You will just have to trust me. I’m your best friend, right? Have I ever set you up with an ugly guy. Besides he’s very nice.”

“You will literally make me go to the bar and ask each and every single guy there? Really?”

“You’re over thinking again. Just be calm . Sebastian will be the one looking for the prettiest girl there. Don’t worry too much.”

“Prettiest? I’m just gorgeous.” Doing her subtle evil laugh, “I just hope that he’s like those handsome good-looking guys, who’s head is full of hot air.”

“I promise you, he’s not. I have to go, their taking my balls!?” I could hear the panic rising in her voice.

“Balls?” I was curious what balls was she pertaining.

“HEY! WHAT THE F---- ” Beverly’s voice cut when the call ended.

“Jessica.” Natasha clicked on the intercom.

“Yes, Boss?” Jessica was quick to reply.

“Could you please send me a change of clothes for tonight. I have a...” sighing before saying, “rendezvous with a blind date. And have somebody pick up the new collection with the floral jacquard by Givenchy . I want the Peplum jackets in different colours.”

“Yes, Boss. And there’s a Sebastian Monroe on the line. Should I take a message for you?”

“I’ll take the call, Jessica. Thank you.” Scanning on models and actresses  who could do a ‘Ready-to-wear’ haute couture 2020 as she picks up the receiver, “Hello?”

“Miss Whitfield, I’m a friend of Beverly Thompson. I want to confirm our date tonight at The Campbell. I’ve made reservations at 8:00 p.m..”

“Yes, Miss Thompson mentioned you this morning. I’ll have my driver drop me off at the bar, Mr. Monroe.”

“Please call me, Sebastian.”

“Natasha.”

“It’s so nice to hear your voice, Natasha...” there was a slight pause and a quick intake of breathe “I’m not going to hold you from your work, as I am about to be in a meeting. Until then. See you later, Natasha..”

“Likewise, Sebastian.”

The day went by very fast. Next thing Natasha knew it was already 6:00 p.m. Her staff was just waiting for her to leave. It was busy day today. Anita’s cheesy writing skills is getting on giving her a headache. She pinches her nose bridge. She decided to make it a day and told everybody to go home. 30 minutes before 8:00 p.m. She was walking out of the lobby doors of Prestige. She had her hair up and soft locks frames her face. Simple princess cut diamonds compliments her black sequined dress by Alexandre Vaulthier. Her classic ankle strapped sandals clicking as she walks towards her car in waiting. She gets in the car and droves off.

I’ve might have taken my ex-husband for granted, maybe? Within the span of two years, I’ve dated a lot of men aggressively. I was going out every night with my friends and colleagues just to find happiness. I was forcing intimacy in every way. I was desperate to find happiness. My post-divorce relationships were all a failure, may it be with a man or a woman. Yes, I explored the possibility. In my mind, at first I didn’t realize that I keep on doing things I’ve been doing with my ex-husband. The non-stop nagging of, “You’re not making me happy.”; “Your wheezing nasal annoys me.”; “You’re not giving enough effort.”; “You don’t have time for me anymore.” Every complaint I did would get flashbacks that I would be shouting at my ex-husband. I feel alone.