Over My Dead Gorgeous Body

 *long honking sound*   Deafening sound got louder and louder as it got closer   Blinding headlights towards me     'What am I even doing?'   'Is it worth it?'   'I'm for sure going to regret this when i wake up.'   If i wake up...     (Flat line sound from the machine)         *loud honking sound*   My eyes opened, gasping for air   I felt spiky things all over my body, saw hints of green at the corner of my eyes, smelled the fresh smell of...   Grass!   I excitedly stood up. I have never felt so alive before.   I never thought i'd say this but I missed breathing!     Wait... I'm breathing again? I am breathing again!     I feel so overjoyed! Arms spread wide; spinning around     A butterfly landed on my shoulder. It made me stop spinning.   Felt a little dizzy though, not really a great move after being dead for years     I moved my pointing finger closer to the butterfly's legs   It transferred to my finger and i held it up close to my face.     My first memory flashed between my eyes   I was in the library holding a book about insects and i was reading about butterflies.   People said that butterflies means rebirth. A new life.     I definitely have that right now. I must do anything in my power to make this second chance worth it.   The butterfly flew away along with my memory, I have to do something now. I can't stay here any longer.   I need to find food and shelter.     I ran towards the direction of the road. Only to realize I am barefooted. I can't go anywhere far without shoes so i decided to buy some first.   For the first time in years I haven’t walked the sidewalks. It actually feels so good to see that people try not to run into you. Not that I became a ghost or anything,As much as I know i’ve been gone for years. Gone as in none, no where to be found, Meaning I don’t exists no more. I used to be life less. And now here I am.  Alive ,breathing, and finding shoes to buy.   At last! I have arrived in my favorite place in the city. ‘The store alley’ it’s like a mall but instead of a building, stores are built next to each other hence the name ‘the store alley’ they have clothes , shoes, accessories, even food. You name it they have it.   Luckily the very first store was a shoe store. I couldn’t walk much further. My feet are beginning to hurt. I entered the establishment and the smell of leather and new shoes greeted me. I looked around and slowly started to feel the shoes sitting on the shelf and this white shoe with sparkly embellishment caught my eye. It would clearly go with my outfit…fine! With what I’m wearing right now. I may have died but my sense of fashion clearly didn’t. I sat down the mini couch on my side and tried it on. It fits perfectly; like cinderella and her glass shoes. I picked it up walked to the cashier placed the shoes on top of the counter. The woman behind it punched the barcode smiling and said “That will be $80 miss.” I was filled with joy. I can easily pay that amount. Or at least I used to. I reached in my pocket and just then I realized…I have no money at all! None! Na-da, flies in my wallet and I don’t even have a wallet!   I let out a nervous chuckle “I’m sorry. I left my wallet at home.” I turned around facing the door no choice but to leave.   I’m certain that that woman won’t believe that I left my wallet considering that I don even have shoes on. I know that my parents are affluent. They own multiple companies in different parts of the world yet here I am without a single penny to buy shoes or food.   After a few minutes of walking I eventually sat down to rest my now sore feet. A few girls walked by talking; they look so happy. Laughing like there’s no tomorrow. As I gestured my hands to my face, I remembered my self… Alone. Total opposite of what I just saw with those girls.   I couldn’t care less about friends at the time. I think they’re just people who come into your life to complete it for a moment then break it all up when they leave.   Whoa. Looks like someone broke me.   I looked at the direction of the clock tower. It’s getting darker. My body hurts, my feet are sore,I have no where to go, I’m hungry and cold. I stood up arms wrapped around my self; hands rubbing up and down trying my best to warm my new body.   I don’t have anything to do but continue walking.  My legs are now trembling with fatigue. And the scent of delicious foods clearly isn’t working. Light posts started to light up. I have to find shelter immediately or else I’ll have to spend the night in the cold sidewalks of the store alley. It took many tries to walk straight in this situation. But in the end I end up tripping up every now and then.   until I passed by this mirror shop. It’s like my legs have full strength again. All the mirrors are facing outward in the open. And then I saw my self. And realized something. I finally dropped down. That’s not me… I don’t recognize the person in-front of me. Maybe that’s a different woman. No! It can’t be. I touched my face out of confusion and shock.Hoping that the woman in front of me won’t do the same. But it’s a mirror what did I expect? Something like this isn’t impossible anymore.   I don’t know why but it hurts so much. Maybe because the face is like a trademark for every one. The fact that they know a person for their face is enough for me to say that no one will ever remember me.   It’s now raining. Im starting to get soaked. How fortunate.   Tears started falling out of my eyes along with the rain. Oh how could this day be better.   Just as I was about to lay down while raining completing my embarrassments for the day, A large circular shadow is now in front of me. Rain drops suddenly stopped. I turned around And an old woman is in front of me. How ever, I couldn’t picture her face. She and her umbrella is against the light of the light post and all I can see is her silhouette. She offered her slightly trembling hand. As I grab it she pulls it gently helping me up. Slowly, light shone to her face “This is my grandma Lory and we’re going to see her next week!” A child’s voice said inside my mind   She’s definitely not my grandmother, who could she be?   “Are you ok darling ? What’s your name?” She asked grabbing something from her pocket “My name’s Monique.” “ oh you poor thing, you’re all wet and you don’t have any shoes on.” “Here. Wear this for the meantime” she added In front of me are slightly big slippers. It’s similar to the one she’s wearing right now. I slipped it on my feet and oh my goodness it’s so comfortable. “Thank you so much.” I can’t express how thankful I am right now “Come on. We have to get you home.let’s get you dried up.” She gestured her hand to come with her   How does she know where I live? I don’t even recall where it is.   She walks really slow but I don’t mind,I need to slow down on walking as well, it’ll give my feet a little break.   After a few hours we arrived at a small and simple house. Is this… where I used to live?   She puts down her tote bag for a second as she opens the door.   A cat greeted her when it opened. On the other hand, the cat hissed at me. Well there it is Ladies and Gentlemen, the cat knows my secret.   “That’s strange. Garry never hiss at guests.” I feel so guilty while she looks so concerned Thank goodness cats only meows. Unless this one’s special…   I don’t see any pictures of my family or me.   “Uhm… is this where I live?” She laughed   “No,Silly! Did you hit your head?you were gone for a day and now you forgot everything?”   Missing?   “I’ll call your parents. Do you want something?”   Right on cue my stomach rumbled   “There’s the answer! I’ll whip up something real quick. In the meantime use this on your feet.” She gave me an ice pack from the freezer and a few towels to dry myself up   I laid down on the couch resting my head on a throw pillow   I winced when I felt the coldness of the ice pack on my feet. I looked at the clock. It’s midnight already and it made me wonder what day it is.   Hanging by the door was the calendar.   No way…   February 28,2016…   I-its my-   “Ooh. I almost forgot Happy birthday sweetie.” She said while whipping a bowl of eggs   What exactly is happening?!   I haven’t died yet! Which means… On the very day I died,It will happen again! And I was brought back to prevent it. To change everything. To change me.   My thoughts were interrupted when grandma Lory offered me tea and the omelette she just cooked. I’ll call her that from my memory. I politely accepted. I’ve never been this starved before. I sure did experience different things I didn’t in my past life   I noticed the picture frames on top of the mantle below the television   There are pictures of a little boy and the picture that I saw in my head. The one that the little boy showed me when I was little. “ hi Devy! Let’s play!” “ sup’ Dev.” What’s up with me calling him in nicknames   “I see you miss Devin, don’t you?” Devin. That’s his name. My best friend who broke me.the old me. And grandma Lory is his grandmother. Oh what are the chances “You were pretty upset when he left but I think you won’t be upset any more next week.” What will happen next week? Beats me   The doorbell sound were heard all over the house   “Thank you so much Lory. Where did you find her?”  It’s dad!   “Oh my poor baby!” Mom ran across the room to hug me she’s starting to tear up   “You can recognize me?” I was in shock. I saw my own reflection earlier and it’s far from what I looked like before   “Of course we recognize the most beautiful lady there is!” Dad joined to hug too   “I found her crying barefooted at the store alley.” Grandma Lory said   My mom cried harder “don’t you ever run away again! We’re sorry we shouted at you.” What? I ran away? Do I used to do that every time I’m scolded? What a total brat, self.   “I’m really sorry I left mom. I missed you guys so much.” Not because I left because I ran away, but because I really left. Great, now I’m crying.   “Did Lory said barefooted? Where are your 100$ shoes?” What?! Now this is just ridiculous   “It got broken and I lost it.” There goes my first white lie. Can’t say ‘i don’t have shoes when I woke up in the middle of a grassy field dad and I didn’t ran away but I died and somehow I’m here months away from my death’ can i? I don’t think so   “Now come on baby let’s go home.” We stood up and mom gave me her trench coat covering her pajamas. It does look like they rushed here We got in the car and I fell asleep on the way home. Things are starting to fall in place At the end of the day I got more than what I need for food and shelter. I reunited with mom and dad I met grandma lory and now I’m finally going home. I got more than what I deserved. And it means it’s not to late to change.     “Honey wake up, we’re here.” I opened my eyes and mom’s smile was the first thing I saw. Sigh* great times.   To be honest considering that my parents are loaded,  I’d expect a mansion maybe two levels and that’s what I think my house looks like but boy did I expect wrong.   I live in a castle! Ok. Too exaggerated but it’s close to that!   It has three levels. A gigantic fountain outside an excessively large pool and an excessive amount of cars   The large wooden doors with gold trimmings opened up and ten maids are all lined up each side to greet us.   One of them took the coat that I was wearing without asking me. One of them took the shoes given by grandma Lory. While the other placed a house slippers in front of me. So this is  how I asked them to treat me in my previous life? That’s absurd! I didn’t even move a single joint. Wow,Brat and lazy.   “Your room is ready young lady.” The woman who took my coat said Her head still bowed down it looks like she’s my personal maid or something.   “Shut up Claire!” “Look what you did to my dress! Your salary alone can’t pay for this! Ugh!” “ Oh Claire- Claire! Do I need to call you twice?” “ what are you waiting for? Oh the magic word? Fine. Claire get the stuff that I asked for… NOW!”   Different scenarios from my past life filled my head. That was so cruel! I was such a bully. How did I become like that?   “Rest now my love. Tomorrow we’ll talk about how you want to celebrate ok?” Mom kissed my forehead   “Good night mom. Goodnight dad.”   I went upstairs and Claire was behind me. She had put away the coat and she’s now holding a tray with a cup of tea.   I opened my room and it looks like what it always have looked like.   She placed down the cup of tea at the side table and gave me a pair of silk pajamas   She also closed the drapes and dimmed the lights   Before she could already leave, I grabbed her arm. She was weirded out but I can sense she’s a bit scared. “I’m sorry young lady. Pardon my clumsiness I’m just feeling very tired today.” She thinks she have done something wrong and I would get mad  at her for a small thing.   “No. You have been really helpful tonight. Thank you.” I feel so bad for what I did to her   “I just want to say sorry for the way I act towards you. I hope you can forgive me.” She hugged me and said “it’s not a big deal young lady. You have given me this job when I needed it the most and for that I am very thankful. Being scolded here and there is not a problem. I just need to do my job correctly.” She’s much younger than be but she definitely is much more mature   “I have to go now young lady. I’m needed downstairs.”   “Please. Call me Monique.”   “Goodnight miss Monique.” She smiled and left     I took a warm bath to relax my body and let my self marinate in my thoughts. The sound of water dripping from the faucet seems to help ease the tension every where.  Now that I know what my purpose is here. How do I know when to start? It seems like memories come back to me when I am  in the same position I was before; just like deja vu. Great, I just need to remember how I died until then I must do everything in my power to change the people’s perspective of me. To change my self completely. For good. I closed my eyes and thousands of memories came to me. Who would have thought that a nice little girl could turn put to be an ungrateful brat someday? After she was left all alone by her best friend she became friends with no one but her books.   “We’re going to leave tomorrow Monique.” Little Devin’s voice whined in my head   “Oh. Ok, when will you be back, then?” I thought it will only be a short trip but turns out…   “I don’t know. Dad said we’re going to live there.”    “You’re leaving me? Forever?” My little girl’s heart was crushed   He was the only friend I had back then. I used to be such a weak child. Always bullied by other children because I was alone. Until he talked to me. Our friendship grew stronger over the years.   Different scenarios flash backed to me so fast. How I was such a jerk to him when he came back. How much I hated him for leaving me.Tears started falling out of my eyes. I can’t breathe. I never realized how much I missed him.      the same heart ache I felt that day he said goodbye and the same heart break the day I died. I can’t explain it but for some reason , I am feeling all the distress. In those alternate timelines right now.   My chest feels so heavy. Why is he the only person I could think of right now? As if… As if he has something to do with my death.       Long  honking sound*       My thoughts were interrupted as I gasp for air after I got up from the bath tub. Without knowing; My head was slowly slipping down from the rim of the tub into the water. I got drowned in my thoughts and I almost did in real life.   I stepped out the tub, drained the water and dried my self up. I wore the silk pajamas Claire gave me and brushed my teeth.   Lastly,I turned off the lampshade.   Today was jam packed with craziness, get some strength for more of impossibilities made possible tomorrow.   Goodnight, self.