Dangerous To Love

Chapter 3

I slept a lot. It was around 7 PM that I woke up. His side of the bed was empty. I started to panic. He said he won't leave. I just want to find him. But this headache is still killing me. I should handle pain better. But it's hard to handle that when there's just too much of it. I try to get up from bed which is as hard as it was the last time. I still feel that light headedness and that headache. I don't understand why. The doctor didn't scanned my head, I was so sure that I didn't hit that. But this started to worry me. And Kyle not being here too.

I sit up at bed and prepare to start to find him but thanks God he has just came in.

"You awake? Your headache? You really should eat something love. You haven't eaten all day. Were you planning to go somewhere?"

He told me more than I could have reacted to.

"Just woken up. But my head is still really bad. And not hungry. Where were you? "

"I was making phone calls."

He just turned his head away. I knew something was not right.

"Kyle what's wrong?"

I could see that he is in pain but couldn't guess what happened.

"I must leave for an hour or two. I promised you to stay and I really want to. And.."

"And duties always come first."

I just whispered this as I realised that who I felt the most safe with, just plans on leaving me alone. But I couldn't blame him. He was a businessman after all. He had hard time even organise today out of office.

"I wanted to reschedule this meeting but it's someone from Indonesia. But I could manage to relocate our meeting to our hotel's restaurant so I will be just some floors below. But we invite over someone to look after you. What about Jade? "

"I'll talk to her. And Leo as well."

I could feel him tense when mentioning Leo. But I need him. Leo is someone I feel safe with when Kyle is away.

He didn't say anything. So, I talked.

"I need him Kyle. I feel safe with him when you can't be around. Why don't you trust me? Leo is my best friend. Don't play that jealous game."

"I don't play any games. Is it a problem that I fear that I lose you? And I do trust you it's just hard right? It's not easy to hear that someone can make you feel safe besides me. I wanted it to be a privilege. I want to protect you Natasha. And you don't know how I suffer because of leaving you now. But I am back in no time. Just please rest until I arrive and call me if you feel bad okay?"

"Of course. And you won't be far away. Thanks Kyle. It really means a lot. Don't blame yourself. We have jobs. You have the most important one. And I'll be fine. I need rest so maybe I will just sleep through the evening."

"You don't know how much I love you." He came closer and kissed my forehead.

"As much as I do."

He had some time before he had to go so we just sat at the terrace. He insisted that I spend some time out in the fresh air and it wasn't bad at all. My headache got better too.

In an hour, Leo and Jade arrived. Yeah. Kyle and Leo definitely don't like each other. But Kyle tried to be a bit nicer. I appreciated that.

"I'll be back soon. Take care. Love you."

He kissed me and left so we were just the three of us. I must say I missed them, but I felt tension from them.  Jade was hell sure worried but as I felt Leo was clear angry.

I needed to talk.

"Leo, what's wrong?"

I was sitting in my bed, Kyle asked me to rest, and my head was still in pain. Leo wanted to turn his head away, but I grabbed his arm.

"tell me. I know you Leo."

"What should I say? Things that you don't wanna hear? I am f*****g angry Natasha. And worried. Don't get me wrong. I could kill that who did that to you. But someone else too."

I got a sharp stab from my best friend. I could get what he meant. Does he really wanna blame him?

"You don't do it. Leo, please. Kyle had nothing to do with it. There's no blame that should be for him. It wasn't him who did this."

I pointed to my all-bruised legs which were in a dark purple colour.

"But it was him who could have prevented it."

Leo hurts me so much. I don't want to blame it on Kyle. He is doing everything to find who did this. He just can't stand next to me the whole day.

"Leo, he couldn't do anything. He wasn't there. And he can't protect me all the time. Don't be mad. It hurts me too. I just don't wanna talk about it right? You don't make it easier. "

My tears started to fall. He realised his mistake in an instant and hugged me carefully.

"I am sorry angel. You know I love you. But he could at least warn you to be careful. I guess you didn't know about any of the threats that can be outside. And he should have been there next to you. As he should have been here now. Don't blame him for not protecting you cause of course he wasn't there but don't forget that he is lying to you."

"Lying to someone is not the same as not telling them everything. He wanted to protect me by not telling me every bit of his darker business side. "

Leo got tense again. He was nearly yelling.

"And you are doing the same again. You are making excuses for him. Or do you making these excuses for yourself? You should think it through Natasha. It's not me whose hurting you but him."

This was the time that Jade stepped in.

"Enough. Leo, she has enough problems without this. She will think about it. When she is not in goddamn pain and fear. With clear head. We didn't came to make her feel worse. But to take care of her. So, you need something honey?"

 Jade had a light smile on her face. She really wanted to make me happier. But I was damn sure that she can't. I was hurt. As hurting Leo's words were, there were some truths behind them. I didn't want the smooth talk now. My head is killing me. And my legs and wrist too. But I don't want those pills just now. Not in this state where I must deal with that kind of emotions. Dulling them just makes addiction form easier. I squeezed Jade’s hand and felt emotionally unstable.

"No, I don't need anything. Thanks Jade. I would just rest a bit. My head hurts a lot. But you can tell me about your day."

Leo didn't leave me there. I was nearly sure that he runs away but no. He just stayed by my bed. We listened to Jade talking and had some small talks but after an hour or, so I was asleep. I woke up only when I heard them leaving.

"Hey. Sorry that I fell asleep. I didn't want to be so boring."

 Jade just smiled. "Don't be sorry sweetie, sleeping was the best you could do. And we couldn't be more glad that you could rest. We will meet soon. Call me whenever you need. Promise?"

I love this girl so much. She's like my sure point in the whole universe.

"Promise. "

I hugged her and hugged Leo lightly without any words when I realised that Kyle was at the bedroom door.

He let them out and came to me as soon as they were outside the door.

He kissed me lightly and caressed my cheek. He could see instantly that I didn't have a smooth night. 

"What happened? How was to your evening?"

I had to think through what to say. If he finds out that Leo hurt me, he will sure lash out at him. I don't need that cat fight.

"Nothing serious. We just talked and I fell asleep. I feel bad that I couldn't be with them more, but I wasn't feeling well so just blacked out."

Kyle got worried. "Why didn't you call me? I told you Natasha to tell me when you are not feeling good.

"It wasn't that serious. Just pain. And the damn headache."

"Have you eaten anything?"

I had to think that through but no. I haven't eaten the whole day. But I am just not hungry. 

" No. I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat Natasha. We are arguing about this over and over again. You need to eat for the medicines as well. Have you had them?"

I just looked down. I didn't want that again. He's insisting on taking the pills, but I am just so afraid that I rather suffer.

He didn't wait for my answer.

"Guess the answer is no. Why are you doing this to yourself Natasha? And to me? I can't see you suffer. You don't take any meds, and you don't tell me what happened tonight, but I feel that something did happened. Talk to me. "

He came closer to me, sat next to me on the bed but I just turned away. I don't want to talk this over now. He would kill Leo for not paying attention for my emotional state. 

He held my face and turned me to look into his eyes.

"Don't do this love. Don't push me away. I need you. Tell me what I can do. I feel terrible. You are in this state because of me. Forgive me."

It was painful to see Kyle suffer. He blames himself. Leo should know that he does feel that it's his fault. But I still can't see it like that. Kyle only helps people. Who hurt me is not someone like Kyle? He just wanted to cause pain. And it sure looked like he could cause a lot of it.

"You don't need to be forgiven Kyle. It has nothing to do with you. But I am tired. I don't wanna have a fight. Just sleep. I am sore. "

"Let me get you something to eat and then your meds. Please. And we will see the doctor tomorrow. Okay?"

He won't give up on these will he? I try to sit up, but my head is aching a lot, so I give in to his requests. All of them. I ate some fruit, drank a jasmine green tea, and took my pills. They really were helping. He slid next to me in bed and wrapped his arms around me. We have another night to just cuddle. I hope I get better soon. I really need to start working soon. I put my head onto his chest and fall fast asleep after he kisses my forehead.