Second Chances

Family

The nurse came in about 20 minutes later. "I'm going to give you a little medicine in your IV to help you relax for your CAT scan. I hear that you don't do so well when you feel confined" she said with a gentle smile. "Yeah, not so much." I grumbled. She places the meds in my IV. "Oooh, that's weird." she smiles. "OK. They will be down in about 20 minutes to get you and bring you up to CT. Just try to relax. Then it will take a bit for the Dr to get the results, but we will get them back to you as soon as we know anything." she looks at Donna and me and smiles. I lean my head back and close my eyes.

All I can hear is the whirring and banging of the machine. I tried to move my head and hear"It's OK Mrs Smith. You are in the CT machine. I need you to lay still so you don't have to be in here any longer than necessary." "OK. I don't like this." "I know nobody does. Would some music help?" "Yes please? 80's?" "I can do that." The sound of Prince When Doves Cry floats into the silence and I take a deep breath to try to calm myself down. I keep my eyes closed and try to relax, breathing slowly, in thru the nose, hold it, "1,2,3,4." exhale out thru my mouth. "You're doing a great job, Mrs Smith. We've got about 5 more minutes, and then we will get you out of there. OK?" "I can do that. Thanks" I continue the breathing exercises to help keep the panic at bay. I realize that I am clenching my fists and I force my hands open. The machine starts to slow down and the banging sounds stop. I heard the door open "There we go, all done. Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times." The nurse jokes as she slides me out of the machine. I squint as the light of the room assaults my eyes. "Ouch. That's funny, tho." Another nurse came in with the bed that I was on, "Now for the not so fun part." Looking at me as she takes the head restraint off of my head and from around my arms. "We're going to transfer you back to the bed so we can take you back to your room. We're going to do this on the count of 3 are you ready?" I nodded to her. "OK. 1, 2, 3" and they both grabbed a side of the sheet and smoothly transferred me back to my bed. The jostling makes the pain flair up, and I see black spots in my vision. "Son of a b***h! That hurts!" I said thru clenched teeth. "I know Mrs Smith. I'm sure they will give you something for the pain when you get back to your room." "I sure hope so." I close my eyes as the nurse maneuvers the bed out of the room and into the hallway. "Man, my head hurts. I'm hungry, I'm thirsty. I want to see my husband." "I'm sure that you are pretty frustrated right now, but you've got to let the doctors do what they need to to get you through this. I'm sure that you will be able to see him soon." "I hope so" "Here we are." the nurse says as he wheels me into my room. "Would you like to be more elevated?" "Yes, please." He lifts the head of my bed. "How's that?" "Much better thank you." he smiles and turns to head out the door. "Can you send the other runs in here please?" "Sure thing" I look around the room. There are some flowers with a balloon that says Get Well Soon on the table at the end of my bed. The curtains are open, and I can see the kids outside in the parking lot. Donna is hugging her fiancée, James, and Hailey is holding hands with her boyfriend, Scott. Sarah, Kelly and Kyle join them and I can see the sadness in them all. Kyle lights a cigarette and starts speaking animatedly. I wish I could hear what they were saying! I turned when I heard my nurse come in." Hi there. It's time for your meds." "Oh, thank you. How about some food?" I said sheepishly. "We are going to have to wait on that till we get your results. I can bring you some jello though?" "Yes, please. So, what are you giving me?" "I've got an order for some pain meds and some anti-inflammatory meds to hopefully keep some of the swelling down.""OK. How's my husband?" "He is still sedated" "I want to see him."" I know Mrs. Smith. I will let the doctor know and hopefully, you can see him tomorrow." "I hope so." she put the medicine in my IV and moved my tray up over my lap, so I could reach my ice water and my jello cup. I put my jello cup in my left hand and started to eat it slowly, savoring every spoonful, watching my kids thru the window. I watch as Kyle snuffs out his cigarette and turns to head back inside. The others slowly follow him in.

I listened for them coming down the hallway speaking in hushed tones. I see Kyle with his arm around his sister Kelly's shoulders. I can see that she has been crying. They slowly walked into the room. "Hi Ma." "Hi hun. How are you guys doing?" "We are hanging in there." "How's Dad?" I watched a pained expression cross his face as his other sisters came into the room. The boys come over and give me a kiss on the cheek "Hi mom." Everyone looked so defeated and sad. "What is going on guys?" "Well, Dad isn't doing so good." I started to feel a panic rise in my chest and tears spring to my eyes. " What does that mean?" "He's on life support" he says with tears streaming down his face. "HE'S WHAT????!!!" I practically scream and my kids visibly flinch. "W w well they they they did it while he was in sur sur surgery, a a and they haven't been able to take him off..." He sobbed. My heart broke for him to see his dad like that. Carl is these kid's hero. Hell, he is my hero. "What do the doctors say?" Donna spoke up while Kyle sobbed quietly. "They don't know, but the fact that he hasn't woken up isn't very promising." "This can't be happening." I said to myself as tears pour down my face. "I need to see him! RIGHT NOW!" I screamed the nurse rushed in. "What is going on here? You know that you all can't be in here." and starts shooing them out "NO! YOU WILL TAKE ME TO MY HUSBAND!!!! NOW!!!" I screamed at the nurse. She straightened herself up to her full 5'9" and stared down at me "YOU WILL lower your voice and you WILL NOT speak to me in that tone. There are people here that are trying to heal and I will NOT have you disturbing the peace of this hospital." I begin to try to push myself out of the bed "I AM going to see my husband right now!" The nurse rushes over to me and tries to push me back in the bed. I shove at her and attempt to swing my legs out of the bed as a wave of dizziness hits me and sweat breaks out on my body. "There isn't anything you can do to stop me! I. WILL. SEE. MY. f*****g. HUSBAND!!!!!!"