My Triplet Lovers

Calling You Mine

She called me Jay! I'm glad she chose that one. Only people I'm close to and people who's special to me call me that. So I told her exactly what I thought of her choice to assure her that I don't mind at all and in fact is happy about her choice of what to call me.

"Of course, I'm comfortable with you calling me Jay so definitely ok with me!"

I happily told her but to me it honestly kinda felt like I didn't make it sound happy enough compared to how happy I really felt inside because of her choosing to call me Jay and I realized why I think I didn't sound glad enough and it's because of my choice of wording but I guess I'll eventually get there someday where I'll get better at this whole "talking to people thing".

I just tried forgetting how I wish I could've expressed it better with maybe better words to use because I think that was enough to make Maya happy with knowing I felt great with her choice because of that smile forming slowly on her lips as I finished expressing how I felt to her about it.

It just really makes me so glad hearing that special name be more special now that I'll be hearing it coming from her everytime she calls me.

Might sound silly of me being this glad over just what she calls me but that name really is special for me because my grandfather gave me that part of my name because apparently when all three of us were born, according to him, when they visited to see us, he saw both Troy and Travis being the ones easily upset and crying most of the time they spent keeping an eye on us there while they were there visiting and noticed me eventually doing the opposite to how Troy and Travis acted.

He said I giggled a lot and was happy almost always and rarely ever cried so he suggested the second part of my first name be Jay be it being close to the word "Joy" because I was a bundle of joy as my grandfather described it and since all three of us get a T and a J for our first names, our parents agreed since I was last, they haven't really thought of that second part of my name but they were already sure with the Trevor part.

Oh and I remembered they explained to me that a few days later, they found out that Jay meant "Cheerful, joyful, or basically happiness".

He said my smile and warm happy attitude to things was contagious and made people brighten up their days specially him and boasted about how good his gut feeling was with that name he gave me because it was perfect at describing me even before he or they knew what my name meant.

When he found out me and Travis were gonna grow up there with them, he was overjoyed he said.

A piece of happiness and sunshine was there with them which apparantly was him talking about me. He said he didn't wanna say he's got any favorites among the three of us because he loves all of us the same and we just each kind of have that extra something that makes us more lovable and mine according to him is the joy I had and could bring by simply walking into the room.

I grew closer to him of course and since Travis was almost always outside playing with the others, I stayed inside for most of the times growing closer to my grandparents specially my grandfather if that wasn't obvious enough.

They did convince me to play outside with Travis and the other kids outside and they explain that it's not them tryna get rid of me but wanted me to share that joy I bring to the other kids outside too and to experience being outside and making friends. I gave it a shot and it wasn't bad but most of the time I spent it inside with them with me listening to both grandpa and grandma's endless story about a lot of stuff like how they met and stuff and how this place looked before we were born and how big the changes are from then and now and I always enjoyed it.

When they realized that they couldn't convince me any further in playing outside more, they just gave in and did what I want, to listen to their stories.

Starting then, that's when the name "Jay" became special to me. Everytime my grandfather had a story to tell me, he'd call me by my nickname "Jay" and I already know he's got another story up his sleeves to tell me that'll make my day with me sitting on his lap or sitting on the ground in the living room all quiet and you can hear nothing but my grandfather telling his stories.

It was always a great day when he started telling me those stories not until one day I didn't know it would be the last he told me those stories and the last time he called me Jay as my name was the last words he spoke before he fell to the ground while holding me tight and since I was sitting on his lap that time, he held me in a tight hug and even fighting for his last breath while slowly losing his consciousness, he still tried his best not to get me hurt because as he was leaning forward for the fall with me on his lap, I'd obviously hit the floor first with my head so as he held me tight, he managed to turn a little so I wouldn't hit my head and instead it hit his.

He might've prevented me from getting hurt physically but he couldn't prevent me from being hurt emotionally through the years after that incident that that was the last day I'd ever hear my name come out of his mouth...

Still hurts until today of course no matter how many years had passed from that incident and I was still young and all the things that happened that day hit me all at once without any warning. It seemed like any normal day like no signs at all that it was gonna happen that day and I am still shocked 'til now after all these years. I still can't get it through my head that it already happened and there's no bringing him back...

His stories however is what will live on with me through the years to come...

I've decided that since he was no longer here to share those stories and share the joy that came with him telling these stories, I thought of continuing it for him and spreading the happiness he filled every room with every story he told me. Glad he told me almost everything because I'd have countless stories to share to my younger brother and cousins. I know he would've wanted to tell them these stories himself but I know he can't anymore so I will.

I guess that's why I only let people I'm close to or people who's special to me call me Jay because of my grandfather...

But now that I think of it, no one could really compare to the way my grandfather made me feel calling me by that name, it always felt special when he said it but no one ever compared after him...

...until I heard it from Maya's voice.

That feeling came back and it's because of her simply calling me Jay.

If I'm being honest, In the future, I wish I can finally call her "mine".