My Triplet Lovers

August : I won't give in

This time I decided that I won't fall for him again if he's just gonna be that way towards me, if he's just gonna be cold for no reason at all. We aren't even together so why should I care if he changed his mind? As if I was affected by those beautiful... flowery words... and his gentle touch...

"ARGHH! Snap out of it!" I slapped myself in the face as I said those words angrily in my mind.

This is it! I'm gonna move on! Nothing's ever gonna change my mind!

There I stood my ground and did the same thing Troy did.

Ignoring each other.

Friday was the start of mutual ignoring, It went well. I didn't feel a thing for him. I casually did my school works but it was different, It was a bit more boring. The excitement was gone because he wasn't part of my daily routine anymore. Though it was fine, I could handle this boredom more than the heartbreaking part of endlessly chasing after him and never getting noticed.

- Saturday morning -

I woke up and like I said, things feel different without him. It was like I was back to before I met him, it was dull and nothing exciting happened. I decided to get back to bed and sleep because yeah it was a little early but before, usually Troy and I would go and hang out outside and sometimes study, finish homework together, or just talk. Even though we were studying, he made it fun. We used to listen to music we both like, sometimes tell jokes and on other occasions play games in between studying but don't get me wrong, we still manage to finish our activities. It was a lot more fun with him...

What am I saying? I'm supposed to move on? aren't I?

Instead of thinking of him even more, I just tuck under my blanket then tried getting comfortable then finally hit the hay.

"Maya? Hey? why aren't you talking to me? is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

I heard a voice from a distance. It sounded familiar, It sounds like... Troy!

I was surprised and I couldn't believe what I was hearing, he's hurt 'cause I'm ignoring him?? Isn't it the other way around? I still couldn't believe what I was hearing so I rushed to go to where I heard the voice coming from.

I was surprised, well a little less surprised because I knew it was his voice right from the start. But still, I was surprised he talked to me again and that's the first thing he decides to say to me.

"Troy? Is that really you? I can't believe you're the one who has the guts to say that to me! Weren't you the first one who ignored me?.. " Tears were slowly forming in my eyes and I couldn't stop it from flowing down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know what got into me... I guess I just didn't want you to get hurt... " He said while it's obvious that he felt ashamed and guilty for hurting me, leaving me without any explanation.

But he mentioned he didn't want to hurt me... Why would it hurt me? Why?? Is it that bad for me to know the truth...

Then I heard something ringing so I checked my phone and Troy's phone. It was neither of them.

Then everything seemed to get blurry, I was scared 'cause I didn't know what was happening at the moment.

Suddenly I'm back in my bed! Did I faint or something?? It took me a while then I realized... My clothes weren't the same ones I was wearing earlier... and it was afternoon earlier but now it's like 9 in the morning...

Wait...

Was it all a dream?? But it seemed so real... I could feel him and hear him clearly earlier... but it wasn't even real... The questions that I longed for an answer... I finally had it earlier... but... it was all just a dream.

I can't believe my own brain could betray me like this!

I said no more thinking of him! I've moved on!

Or at least I thought I had...

I know getting over someone isn't that easy, Some take days, weeks, months, YEARS!

And some never move on...

I hope I won't be like the other people who wait decades for someone without even being sure that they have a chance...

Maybe I'm just thinking too much into this again. I might get over him in a couple of days and not talking to him is a start! and that's progress!

Even though there were a lot of things I needed to get finished, the weekends still seemed so long...

I wanted to chat with Troy but I reminded myself not to give in to temptations but still... that dream really made me think...

Did it mean anything?? I know dreams can mean something so I searched it

*Began typing*

What does it mean if you dream about a "friend" asking for forgiveness?

*Presses enter*

Woah! I mean I'm always surprised by what dreams mean but could this be a sign?

It said that if a friend asks you for forgiveness it only means that in real life something wrong will finally be set right!

As I saw that sentence I hoped that it was a sign that things would get better again between Troy and I...

I said I changed... But a single thought of him just spreads through my mind like wildfire then, I can't escape thinking of him...

Guess I'll just be one of the people who just wait forever for someone without being sure of anything...

If they'll ever come back...

If they'll ever feel the same for you...

If everything will be back to the way they used to be...

If things will ever be the same again...

You aren't sure of anything except your feelings at this point...

Instead of just forgetting... I remembered more... It made me go back to when everything was ok between us...

It made me go back to the past... our memories with each other... The times I wished never ended...

which wasn't too long ago to be honest-

"Can we go back to the way we used to be? I'd turn back the hands of time to be with you again..."