The Witch's Bottle

Maxine came through the door and dropped her bag. No sooner did it hit the ground than she ran into my arms. I took her, kissed her forehead, and waited.  "Hey," I whispered. "Are you okay?"  She cried. Trembling, she held me tight. Her head pressed firmly against my shoulder. I shushed her with gentleness. "I'm here, and I'm listening."  I led her to the couch and sat her down. She was quick to drop her head into her hands and hide her face. I knelt in front of her and caressed her hair and cheek. "What is it? What happened?" I moved my head to make eye contact with her. "I'm okay... I just don't." Max glanced up and into my eyes. I knew I didn't have to say anything or prod her. She settled down and folded her palms nervously in her lap. "It was a standby for DYFS, a child removal. Two little girls, three and one. "I'm sorry, sweetheart." I held her hand. "How can people do that?" she asked.  Her voice was biting, hard, and full of contempt.  "Their mother is a c***k w***e. Both girls were filthy and hadn't eaten in five days."  Max sniffled and took a tissue from the end table. I asked if she wanted some tea, but she refused. So I leaned forward and kissed her on the nose. Her voice cracked as she sobbed.  "She tried to fight us. Like we had a choice?" Max tried to catch her breath but couldn't. "Keegan knocked her on her ass and dragged her out of the door by her hair."  Maxine smiled, but only for a moment. The tears returned. She looked up at me and cupped my cheeks in her hands. Her eyes were red and wet. She tried not to blink, but when she did, they ran down her nose and mouth. With my thumb, I wiped her lips. I put my forehead against her and shushed her in a whisper. "Promise me, Kelly... Promise me we'll never hurt our children like that. Promise me they'll never have to suffer abandonment." "Oh, sweetheart, I promise you."  She hugged me as her tears seemed to slow. I got up and sat next to her on the couch. I took her in my arms. She rested her head on my shoulder and stared at me. I felt her pain, confusion, hurt. It unsettled me, as this was out of the norm for Maxine. "Now, it's me asking." Her voice weakened as she lost her breath. Before I could add anything, she placed one palm on my cheek and two fingers on my lips. "Promise you'll never leave me. Please, Kelly. I couldn't take it. I want a family with you. You're my lover and my best friend. I can't live without you."  Max surprised me. This was a flash of vulnerability that she seldom showed. I was the one that begged, specifically with abandonment and loneliness. I had never seen her like this. It made my mind race. Then I remembered a letter I had written years earlier. "I need to give you something. I'll be right back." I ran up the stairs after I got up. Then, rushed into the bedroom to my dresser. I opened the top drawer and fumbled through my socks and underwear.  I found it. I held the envelope with both hands. Its seal was still intact, dirty, and ragged. The letter of revelation inside saved my life. I walked downstairs and sat beside her. I still held it with both hands. She looked puzzled. "I wanted to give this to you on our wedding night. You should have it now.” She took the envelope and ran her fingers over the postmarks. Next, she picked at the multiple pieces of tape used to seal it. Then she noticed the post date and looked at me. "You wrote this when? It says April 2003." "Read it." I motioned for Maxine to open it.  Max ripped through the fold with her finger and removed the letter. It surprised me to discover that it was just as I had remembered. Even the smell was all too familiar. Those who were there would recognize it. It was a reminder of where I’d been. "Read it to yourself," I said as she sat back against the couch cushion. "Wild Rose. You wrote this to me when you were in Iraq?" "Yes... read it." I know this is going to seem strange to you, especially since we've never met. Yet, I feel as though I know you better than anyone my heart has ever loved. There weren't many at all. I want only to be with one. War makes you know things that aren't normal. A wild rose could bud in the middle of death and pain. It could even bloom to the fullness of a flower.  Writing this amid this place, Nasiriyah, a city better called Hades, Gehenna, or Niflheim. It's a land of torment and punishment for sins so heinous that God Himself looks away, forsaking these lands. I look at my hands, dirty, blood-stained, and I think of you. They trained us to "break hearts" and "take lives." With you, it is quite the opposite. I will surrender my heart and life to make sure yours is protected and loved.  I desire with my whole being to build this shelter around you, a safe place to hide your guilt, pain, love, and the intimacy we will share, always and forever. I have heard it said many times. A familiar sentiment is "thank you for your service, your sacrifice." I never considered what I was doing. I was born to be a Marine, a warrior from Valhalla. God foreordained I protect my country, to the love of the True God, and my family, whatever the cost. Yet somehow, while I sit here amidst the stench of death and burning flesh, I can almost know your face. I can almost feel your touch, taste your lips, and realize how often I have sacrificed. How much I have missed, ignorant of where true happiness and fulfillment lie. Envisioning you, a wild rose brings peace to a soul that wars on the inside and out. I will begin a journey through the same roads of hell to find you. I will love you, hold you, and bind with you, never to be torn apart. I will put the wild rose on my arm. It will remind me of when I first thought of you. There is life in death. There is beauty that can light the darkest places and the most desperate souls. I have already fallen in love with you, my wild rose. I will not stop searching until I find you and can make you mine. The Rose of Your Heart, Kelly