Hidden Passages

Chapter 7

Brian let me drive off first, so it wouldn’t appear we’d been together before meeting at Memory Makers. The rest of the day passed uneventfully with the same routine of breakfast, reading, exercise, lunch, music, TV, dinner, and movies. I avoided Brian but hoped that didn’t make me look as though I was hiding something. I observed the others, trying to spot some indication of who might have called me and why. Brian’s suggestion that my sister’s killer was among my fellow test members made no sense to me, but it frightened me just the same.

Dr. Murray and Dr. Grayson examined my journals with scrutiny. “You haven’t recorded much, Lauren,” Dr. Murray pointed out at the end of the day. “Are you sure this is all that happened to you yesterday? Have you had any flashbacks? At this point in your treatment, you should’ve had at least one.”

I tried to keep my expression neutral. “I’m afraid not, Dr. Murray, but my recall about recent events seems sharper.”

He nodded, but my answer didn’t appear to satisfy him, as if he knew I was holding something back.

“Okay then but write everything down in your journals. You’re due for your second shot next week. You won’t receive it unless we’re sure the first injection has had affect.”

I wouldn’t be happy about that, but I pointed out that only Jake and Bill had had flashbacks so far. They weren’t anything significant. Bill had remembered his brother’s birthday and had mailed him a card, and Jake recalled leaving his car keys on the couch and was able to locate them without a search. Virginia couldn’t compose anything in her journal, and Brian said he’d forgotten to record the flashback he’d had. I wondered if he’d told Murray that for my sake or if he’d truly had one. I figured I could make something up the following day to appease Dr. Murray. I couldn’t miss the second shot. It would bring me closer to finding out what happened to Patty.

It happened right during the music therapy session. I was sitting between Maureen and Virginia listening to 1940 show tunes that were popular before I was born.

Virginia leaned over and whispered, “I remember you.”

My heart thudded, and I felt faint.

Suddenly, I was back in my apartment playing the message off my cell phone. While the voice didn’t match Virginia’s, it repeated the same words. “I remember you … You and your sister Patty.” Had Virginia added that second part?

Suddenly, I was back in my apartment playing the message off my cell phone. While the voice didn’t match Virginia’s, it repeated the same words. “I remember you … You and your sister Patty.”I came out of the flashback as quickly as I’d entered it.

“Lauren, are you okay?” It was Maureen snapping me back to the present. I opened my eyes, not realizing I’d closed them.

Dr. Grayson walked over to me. “Did you just have a flashback, Lauren?”

I looked into his dark, inquiring eyes. “I, uh. Yes, I remembered I’d left some dishes in my sink. I had a late-night snack.”

His face lit up. “Excellent. Please record that in your book.” He watched as I wrote down the lie.

Virginia next to me was still blabbering that she knew me, but now she was saying, “You’re in my English class. We sit near one another. Yes, that’s it. I know you from English.”

I took a breath. Maureen gave me a quizzical look. I avoided glancing across at Brian.

I couldn’t keep my mind off Virginia’s words the rest of the day. I knew the rantings of the Alzheimer’s patient couldn’t be connected with the call I’d received, although the more I thought about it, the more Virginia’s voice sounded like the gravelly one of the person who’d left the threatening message for me with the similar words the night before.

Back at my apartment, there was a message on my machine. The only one who I’d given that number to was my mother. I’d forgotten she hadn’t checked in with me for over a day which was a record for her. I hoped all was okay.

I played back the message.

“Lauren, It’s Mom. I can’t reach you on your cell. Call me.”

“Lauren, It’s Mom. I can’t reach you on your cell. Call me.”She sounded nervous, but that was probably because she hadn’t been able to contact me on my cell. Pacing in place, I dialed her number, wondering if something else was wrong.

I waited for three rings before she answered.

“Lauren, is that you?”

I only gave her my landline number as an emergency backup when she insisted. Since Brian had my cell phone, it had probably gone directly to voicemail.

“Yes, Mom, is everything okay?”

“How can it be when you’re still halfway across the country, and you didn’t even call me yesterday? I was worried sick. Then I tried your cell, and it kept going to voicemail. Are you avoiding me, Lauren?”

“Of course not, Mom.”

“Anything could’ve happened. I’m not young anymore, you know, and I’m all alone.

I sighed. “I’m sorry. I was busy.”

“Too busy to check on your mother?”

“I promise I’ll make sure to call you every day if I don’t hear from you.”

She must’ve detected the note of frustration in my voice.

“I’m sorry to be a burden, but I worry about you. I have no idea what those scientists are doing to you. They could be brainwashing you.”

I tried not to laugh, but my voice must’ve cracked slightly. “I’m okay. Really. Thanks for your concern. How are Harry and Hermione?”

“I needed to change the subject. I was sorry I did.

“How do you think they are? They miss you.”

“Mom, I told you that you could turn on the cam I put in your house, so I could talk to them.”

“That’ll only make it harder, and you know I hate those computer things.”

“But you would be able to see me, too.”

“I don’t want to see you until you’re back home.”

I sighed. “Mom, please. I told you it’ll be a few months.” I kept my voice firm. “Now I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

. “Goodbye, Lauren. I hope you do.”

I hung up feeling as I usually did after talking with my mother – guilty. After she kicked my father out, the bonds between us tightened to near suffocation. She didn’t work due to a series of chronic but not life-threatening illnesses that her multitude of doctors diagnosed as stress related. Her only income was what I sent her each month plus the settlement from her divorce and the inheritance from my grandparents that she’d split with her other three siblings who lived in other states and whom she rarely contacted. She had no hobbies or close friends, so I was her world. It hadn’t always been that way. Patty had been her favorite, and Dad’s, too. But after her death and her breakup with my father, Mother directed all her attention on me. It made leaving for California the toughest move I’d ever made.

As I prepared for bed, trying not to dwell on thoughts of my relationship with my mother, I had another flashback. It came on like the other – dizziness, disorientation, and then I was somewhere else.

I was at Memory Makers leaving for the day. Brian had joined me by the door. Leaning close, he whispered, “I’ll get the phone back to you tomorrow. Let’s meet again at the same place, same time.” He grinned. I felt a warmth glide through me at his brief smile. “In the meantime, be careful. Okay?”

I was at Memory Makers leaving for the day. Brian had joined me by the door. Leaning close, he whispered, “I’ll get the phone back to you tomorrow. Let’s meet again at the same place, same time.” He grinned. I felt a warmth glide through me at his brief smile. “In the meantime, be careful. Okay?”I woke with a start recalling our arrangement and Brian’s words of concern. Was I in danger? Could his theory be true that my sister’s killer was a patient at Memory Makers? The thought chilled me. I remembered what Virginia said but found it impossible that a woman so deep in dementia would be capable of being involved in what happened to me twenty-five years ago. Besides, my memory of our abductors was of a man. Considering this, I also knew that all I could recall from that experience was a shadow. Maybe, after the next injection or the last, more would come back, and I could see the person clearer. I hoped that would happen and yet I feared that a flashback that would show me the image of the person I’d feared all these years would be too intense for me because it might also show me the final moments of my sister’s life. I didn’t know if I could face that.