Hidden Passages

Chapter 9

I don’t know why I stopped at the coffee shop the next day before going to Memory Makers. After what I’d experienced in my flashback, I knew I’d be afraid to see Brian there. Luckily, he wasn’t. The table we’d occupied was empty. Despite my relief, I felt a touch of disappointment. Then I saw her, sitting alone in the corner sipping a cup of coffee. Maureen. I walked over to her. “Hi. Mind if I join you?”

She looked up and smiled. “Sure. I just found this place, Lauren. Please, have a seat. I’ll order you a coffee.”

“Thank you, but I’ll pay. I dropped in to get a cup.”

“Glad you did.” Her smile widened. She looked across at me as I sat. “I’ve been wanting to talk with you away from Memory Makers.” Her smile faded. “I can’t believe they gave you a second shot already. Did you have any new flashbacks?”

I paused as the waitress came over, and I asked her to bring me a coffee. As she walked away, I replied, “One. From when I was in college.” I lowered my head, unable to meet her eyes.

“Wow! What was it about?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“I understand. We’re not supposed to share that stuff.”

I was glad she didn’t probe. I raised my head. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

She glanced away a second and then asked, “Are you becoming friendly with Brian?”

My heart skipped a beat at his name, but I kept my voice controlled as I replied, “What makes you ask that?”

She laughed, a short deep sound. “It’s obvious how you two try to avoid one another. Also, I have to admit I saw you in here together having coffee one morning when I passed by. That’s why I stopped in today. I thought I’d catch you. He’s cute. I don’t blame you. You just need to be more discrete. Has he gone to your place?”

“No.” My reply was stronger than I intended. “He’s just a friend, Maureen. It’s pretty lonely here away from my family and my pets.” That was only partially true. Aside from missing the sweet purrs of Harry and Hermione curled up by my feet at night, I was welcoming the freedom from my mother’s control and hadn’t spoken to my father in years. The only person I really missed was Rick and that was because I missed my job, keeping busy and not dwelling on my past. At Memory Makers, I had too much time on my hands to think, and the flashbacks were bringing back too much pain. I reminded myself that this was what I wanted, and yet having some friends would make it easier. I hoped Maureen could be one of them.

She finished her coffee and then surveyed me with her dark eyes. “If you say so, but I would watch my back. You can’t trust anyone at Memory Makers except me, of course.” She flashed me another smile.

I wanted to ask what she meant, but she glanced at her watch and got up. “We gotta get going, or we’ll be late. Finish your coffee. I’m picking up the tab. I insist.” She laid some bills on the table and signaled the waitress. I gulped my drink quickly, and then we both left the coffee shop.

At Memory Makers, I was in for a surprise. Brian wasn’t in the morning meeting room when Maureen and I entered. Everyone else was there. When Dr. Murray came in, he made an announcement that explained Brian’s absence. “I have some bad news this morning, folks. I’m afraid we’ve lost one of our members. That happens sometimes when people change their minds about continuing the trial. Brian is no longer with us.”

I was shocked, knowing he was hoping to remember what happened to his wife. The expressions around the table seemed to express upset, although I didn’t believe anyone but me truly cared. Maureen whispered next to me, “Sorry. I guess the flashbacks were too much for him. They’ll wear off soon, or maybe they wiped them like he thought they would.”

She shut up quickly as Dr. Murray approached my seat. “Can I see your record book, Lauren? Since you’ve had your second shot, have you had any flashbacks?”

I handed him the book and nodded. “Yes. One.” I remembered my flashback of the breakup with Craig but tried to focus on the fact that Brian had quit the testing without even notifying me after we’d shared so much.

“Perfect.” He read my brief description of the episode. “Just a word of warning, Lauren. Even though you haven’t yet had your third shot, it’s possible you may have earlier flashbacks than from your college days. Please keep recording everything and, if things go well, you may receive your final shot next week.”

He handed back my book and then went around the room to check the others. It looked as though everyone had at least one flashback since yesterday even Virginia who said she felt dizzy when she got home last night and then saw herself having lunch and choking on a piece of bread. “He didn’t put it in my mouth,” she said looking over at Bill. “He’s a nice boy. I’m sorry I said that. Please tell the principal that I just ate too fast.”

Dr. Murray nodded. “Very good, Virginia. I’ll be sure to tell the principal.” He turned to Maureen who was the last person’s book he had to check. “I think you’ll be ready for your second shot tomorrow,” he said after reviewing her flashback record.

“But I haven’t had any flashbacks” she said.

“I still think you’re ready. The second dose is stronger than the first so should start them up.”

“Fine, doctor,” she said, but I noticed a slight hitch to her voice. I realized that, despite her belief that she was a control subject, she was afraid of something at Memory Makers. I hoped I could speak with her again to determine what she’d meant by my watching my back and not trusting anyone.

Before we left for the day, Dr. Grayson gave us a “homework” assignment before he dismissed us. “Since this is the weekend and you won’t be attending any of the reading, exercise, or music therapy sessions, I’d like to give you all a project to do. It’s really very simple and will help aid the injections in bringing back more memories.”

Maureen whispered, “Oh, no. Now what?” in my ear. She shut up when Grayson turned toward her as if he’d heard her.

“It won’t be difficult, and I’m sure you all might enjoy it. It’s called Object Therapy. Dr. Murray and I have written research papers about it, but basically it’s a form of show and tell.” He continued staring in our direction, but his eyes were focused on Maureen. He only glanced away when Virginia said, “I love show and tell. I brought my dolly to Mrs. Hart’s class in 2nd grade. Can I bring her here?”

“If you have her with you, that would be fine, Virginia.”

Worry lines crossed her brow. “The lady who lives in my house says I shouldn’t carry her around with me.”

“That’s okay. I’ll have Nurse Hanover tell her to let you bring your dolly on Monday.” Grayson turned back to us. “I need you each to bring something in that has sentimental value or a strong memory attached to it.”

Jake said, “I don’t have ‘nothin. I packed real light. I don’t keep mementos whatever you call ‘em, anyways.”

“You must have something,” Grayson said. “It could be anything that might remind you of the past.”

Jake shook his head. “I’ll do my best, doc, but I can’t promise anything.”

Bill said, “I’m kind of stumped, too, but I’m sure I can dig something up.”

“Good.” Grayson turned toward me. “What about you, Lauren? Do you have something in mind for Object Therapy?”

“Sorry, but my mind’s a blank,” I said. I was still thinking about Brian leaving the trial.

“That’s okay. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.” He looked around the room. “You all will. It should be an interesting session. We’ll fit it in right after dinner on Monday. Relax, and have a good weekend.”

As he opened the door to escort us out, Maureen turned to me again. “Was that my imagination?” she asked, “or did that sound like a threat?”

I felt oddly lonely leaving without Brian, but Jake came up to me unexpectedly. “Sorry about Brian,” he said. “He was a nice guy. I think you two could’ve been good friends after this was all over.” He waved his thin arms, and I noticed the tattoos that sneaked out of his three-quarter sleeves. I also saw redness around his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t had much sleep in a few days.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He smiled weakly showing a few broken teeth and shrugged. “As good as can be expected. I haven’t had as many flashbacks as I’d hoped. I need this to work. I want my memories back.”

I wondered if Doctor Grayson was right and that Jake was still on drugs. That could be an explanation for how he looked. “You have to be patient,” I said. “It takes time.”

“Guess so.” He followed me out the door.

When I returned to my apartment, an envelope was taped outside. Although I’d never invited Brian to my place, I hoped he’d somehow found out where I was staying and written me a letter explaining his dropping out of the trial at Memory Makers.

I brought the note inside, sat on my couch, and read it. There was only one typed line:

You won’t get away this time.

You won’t get away this time.My hands trembled as I dropped it to the floor. I wanted to tear it up but thought it might provide some evidence of who was threatening me. Even though I knew it would jeopardize the rest of my testing, I picked up my cell and was about to dial the police when it buzzed in my hand. The number displayed was Brian’s.

“Brian,” I said answering the call.

“Lauren, are you okay? You don’t sound good. I know you must be upset, but I wanted to explain. Sorry I didn’t call sooner.”

He’d mistaken my anxious tone. “I want to know why you left, but I just received a typed threat that was taped to my door. I was about to call the police.”

“Don’t do that. Listen to me. I need your address. I want to come and talk to you. It’s important. I can’t speak on the phone.”

I hesitated. Maureen had suggested that someone at Memory Makers had another agenda but, if it was Brian and he’d been the one to leave the note, he would’ve already known my address. I took a chance and gave it to him.

“I’ll be right over. I’m not far. Take some deep breaths. It’s going to be okay.”