Just My Luck 2

Chapter 12

As we are waiting for the ambulance, Isaac is freaking out. Grabbing extra clothes, getting me water, and crying. He keeps telling me everything is going to be okay. But I am numb. The ambulance shows up and loads me in, taking me quickly to the hospital. Once there, I am hooked up to a bunch of machines and get checked. A nurse brings in an ultrasound machine and starts looking. There is so much going on right now I can't keep it all straight. Nurses and doctors spouting off sh*t that I don't understand.

"Stop," but everyone keeps going. They didn't hear me.

"STOP!!" And everyone pauses.

"Will 1 person and 1 person only tell me what is happening?" The doctor looks at me reaching for my arm, rubbing it gently.

"That's what we are trying to find out Sam."

"Is there a heart beat?" I say looking at the ultra-sound machine.

"No." The doctor puts the doppler back on my belly, still searching. She tries telling me something else. But I didn't hear it. Isaac walks up to me, tears streaming down his face as he grabs my hand, bringing it up to his face, resting his forehead on it. I can't register this. I can't fathom this. Did we really lose our baby girl?

"Baby, did you hear the doctor?" Isaac says brushing my hair back a little. I shake my head no.

"I said this is not your fault. It looks like the placenta detached. Causing the miscarriage." What do I say? Okay?

"We will take you in for the DNC soon. We will give you a moment while we prepare."

"Thank you," Isaac says. I can't find my words. How do I react to this? Do I cry? Scream? I don't know. My baby girl is gone. And it's my fault. I didn't listen when everyone was telling me to go to the hospital. I fought them on it and just went home. Emily is dead because of me. Isaac tried talking to me but I couldn't hear the words he said, so he just lays his head down by my arm holding my hand.

"It's time." The doctor says. And wheels me away. A few hours later, I am in a room with Isaac. He tries to get me to eat or drink anything, but I just can't.

"Baby please. Drink something at least."

"Take me home." It's the first words I have said since I had seen all the blood when I woke up.

"Are you sure?" he says with concern laced in his voice. I simply nod. He gets up to go to the nurses' station so he can get the discharge papers while I get changed. I am given a list of restrictions that I need to adhere to when I get home. Sadie and Ian pull up to the front of the hospital as I am wheeled out. Since we came by ambulance, we needed a ride home. Ian and Sadie get out of the car, sad expressions written on their faces, but they don't say anything. Sadie tries to come in for a hug but the slight flinch away from her made her think twice. Ian and Isaac help me into the car and we make our way back to the house. Once in the house I walk to my bedroom but pause.

"It's okay, Ian and Sadie replaced the mattress while we were gone." Isaac says putting a hand on the small of my back. I walk into the bedroom. He was right. The blood-stained bed is no longer there. I go to my dresser and pick out my pajamas and go into the bathroom to take a shower. Hospitals always made me feel dirty. Even more so now. So I need a shower. Isaac watches me walk into the bathroom and close the door.

Isaacs Pov

My heart is shattered. The news from the doctor felt like getting my heart ripped out. Now watching the love of my life so closed off and not saying anything is ripping my heart out even more. She hasn't even said anything. When she walks into the bathroom and closes the door, I make my way out into the living room.

"How is she?" Sadie asked me, tears filling her eyes.

"She hasn't said anything since I called the ambulance. So I don't know." I go to sit on the couch and out my face in my hands. Ian doesn't say anything. He walks over to me, grabbing my arm, standing me up and hugging me like my life depended on it. It takes a few moments for it to hit me but once it does, I grip the back of his shirt as tight as I can and let it all go. Crying like I have never cried before.

"I'm here. I'm here Isaac. I'm right here." Ian says grabbing me even tighter, letting me feel whatever it is I need to feel. Sadie comes up behind me. Laying her head on the side of my back while slowly running her hands up and down my back.

Sams Pov

I get in the shower and let the hot water run over my body. My mind is busy running in a hundred different directions while my heart shatters into millions of pieces. Will Isaac blame me? Will he hate me? While my heart shatters even more, I find myself sitting on the shower floor pulling my knees up to my chest and let the first tears drop. Then let it all go. Letting the reality finally hit me.

"AHHHHH!!!" I scream out. I can't hold it in any more. This is all my fault. I let my baby girl die. I should have listened to everyone. And I didn't. Isaac, Sadie, and Ian all come running into the bathroom. I don't even look at them. I can't. I am so ashamed. Isaac turns the water off, then grabs my robe putting it around me. He then comes into the shower wrapping his arms around me. Sadie and Ian follow. They come and wrap their arms around Isaac and myself as we all sit there in tears, not saying a word.

" It's all my fault. Our baby girl is dead because of me." I look at Isaac.

"No baby, it's not your fault, it's no one's fault." He says wrapping his arms back around me.

"Where do we go from here?"

"We take it one day at a time," Isaac says while tears stream down his face.

"And you lean on us for support," Sadie says while rubbing my back. A few minutes later they get me out of the shower. Sadie and Ian give me a few moments to get changed out of the now wet robe, while Isaac goes to grab my medicine and a glass of water, then returns to my bedroom. We all crowded up on my bed. Sadie and I were side by side with Isac on my side and Ian on hers. And we drift into a dreamless sleep.