Lady and Latter

"I'll be there." I got a sudden call from mom but it was answered by my driver instead. I'm told they will have a casual dinner tonight, and for the first time, she surprisingly asked me to come home. I lean my back on the backseat and ferociously look through the window. This is rest, I guess. The last summer had gone mad, so I think I at least deserve a pause. I glare against the headlights only to gaze at them once more. How senseless it is to remember him in everything. Well, I suppose memories, whether they're beatific or evil, will always be reminisced at every turn. I know Jude's been thinking of coming tonight to Lovisa's party. Unsure what to put on my mind, maybe it's for me to find out. Since then, I haven't heard a word from them as they haven't seen a thing from me at all. I'm already halfway home when I asked my driver to turn back, thinking of torturing myself when I see them. Past five o'clock when I reached Lovisa's house. It's not that big and modern but apparently made of woods, and it somehow gives me a feeling of warmth. Everyone wears their best dresses, and even their front yard is dazzling with that glitz and glam. I see she hasn't got neighbors. Two guys at the entrance are standing abreast and gently welcoming the guests. And I sit still inside the car until no one has seen me around. I think her birthday party has just started. I can hear the music playing from the far side of their garden. The sun's already setting south, making me mesmerized by its golden light. I get out of my car, letting all its rays deceive me for the first time. But I think I am more captivated by the man whose stance is manlier than anything else. He stands in flamboyant posture, not even far away from my position. Within minutes of longing stares, I let out a sigh and flashed a wry smile, believing he really shows up only for her. Jude beams with hope, never knowing what it'll mean. But whether it will be for closure or a new beginning, I know I'll be dead to him after this. I admit it or not; it just happens to be false acceptance, for there's no way I can avast myself from reminiscing us. All I know is soon enough, it will drown me. Yet, with that in mind, forever I will choose pain over sobriety. I will forever love Jude, my one and only.