while you were alive
616 Words
I'd rather go through it with you than to your funeral
I never said that to my brother and I wish I did
because it's how I felt about him every day that he lived
And I was proud of everything that he ever did
he was the best uncle
you can ask my kid
it's okay to be you because I want you to be alive
is what I should have said to my brother before he died
He didn't know that he could lose control and still be strong
He didn't know he didn't have to be perfect to be loved my mom
he didn't know that he could win his battle with drugs because he was busy hating everything he was
and nobody told him It was okay to wear his face
he just knew that he'd rather be in outer space
nobody told him it was okay to be himself
So my brother spent his life wishing that he was someone else
He spent his life hating everything he was
because nobody ever told him that he was loved
I thought he knew it so I didn't think I had to say it
he died not knowing he was anybody's favorite
Didn't know his laugh was contagious
I can't look at him now and say that we made it
he thought that it was best if he were to go
that's why he didn't call me
he didn't pick up the phone
Hue didn't think that anybody cared
he thought that he should die alone
now everything is wrong because my brother intentionally overdosed
now it's no more I love you to the moon and the stars now it's just I love you no matter where you are
I don't care if you don't really like yourself
because I like you better than I like everybody else
I'm going to be here for you when you have your doubts and I don't care what all your stress is about
Because now my screams are the loudest sound
and I'll never get my head out of the clouds
because I can't reach for him when he's that far away
I can't get over it
thatHis last words were my name
He said where the f**k did Jamie go I think I f****d up and his last moments my brother didn't feel loved
and it's something that I'll never be able to take back
I just want back the brother that I already had
he was perfect and I never thought he was bad
And I think he would have been a perfect dad
but I never told him any of this
he never got to have kids
and now I'm missing him for everything that he is
he isn't here anymore
he let the drugs take him into the abyss
I prefer him loved and alive
than for him to be missed
My brother committed suicide
My brother was the best person I've that I've ever met
And I hate the fact that he's the only one I'll ever get
Because he took him from me
and I didn't have a choice
he doesn't realize that they're still The void
he's not just a memory that I can put on a Shelf
His place can't be taken on by anybody else
I hate myself right nowfor not helping him feel the way he felt
Even though I knew the cards that he was dealt
I think the truth is that we're all at fault
we don't want to be doing all the mental somersault
so it's easier to blame that one who takes their life when it takes two to commit suicide
P0
- Writer
