Love From A Distance

Chapter 15 I Need A Therapist

Millicent's POV

The overwhelming thoughts running rampant in my head won't stop.. and it's really starting to overwhelm me completely.. I can't even seem to fake a smile like I was earlier.. Too much has happened today for me to just brush this to the side.. I need something to help.. At least something or someone to bring me some peace of mind, but what do I do? I can go talk to my husband because he is the biggest issue at the moment.. I can't talk to Aiden because he will just go with almost anything I say because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.. and I don't know anyone else here at this party to even vent like that with.

I could try to call my bestie but I'm pretty sure she is at work.. I can't call my family because I know just what they will say about the Wyatt and Aiden thing.. and I don't know what to think about the notes part of my day because I have no evidence to even base my assumptions off of, so I need something else.

I need more than just my opinion about something involving a possible break in. Especially when it comes to involving my family, mostly for my father.. He doesn't just assume things, he needs to know the details and facts about the situation before he comes up with any type of opinion, let alone a solution for my life that seems to be going in so many directions. I feel like a complete mess and I have no idea what to do. But maybe someone does..

"I think it's time for me to put myself first and figure out what's going on with me, so I can act accordingly." I say to myself, but with Aiden being right there, he will be the only one who knows, at least for the moment. "What do you mean?" he asks sounding worried about me, but hopefully he doesn't have to worry. "I really do think that I need to call the therapist that I was trying to talk to about my relationship with Wyatt.. Dr.Jones said he is not just a marriage counselor, but that he would do regular sessions as well.. and I think I need to talk with him." I explained as best as I can to Aiden while I turned away, not knowing what else to say that wouldn't make me sound crazy and helpless.

"What could your therapist do for you right now?" Aiden asks with confusion, as I state with the little bit of confidence I do have right now. "I need to talk to someone who will be completely honest with me, just because he doesn't have ties to any of this.. And he won't automatically peg me as a crazy woman from past situations. He is paid to listen and give advice.. so maybe he will have ideas about how to continue. Because I feel like I'm under reacting, but I also feel that you're not reacting enough.. and maybe I am seeing things the wrong way, but I don't feel like it.. I'm trusting my gut but maybe that's not the thing to do right now because of the stress I'm under.. I need to talk to someone." I declared, sounding almost desperate.

"Ok ok.. I get that.. But I thought we wanted to take care of this situation with Wyatt?" He asks, sounding almost sad that I'm not putting his and mine situation first and I can see why because it was first on the list, well until these mysterious notes showed up. "Aiden, I swear I will talk with him, because I now know without a doubt that I don't want to be with him and I would probably want to try with you.. But you have to understand that my life is going crazy right now and I have no idea how to react. I need to get my sanity under control and talk with a therapist.. Do you know how hard that is for me to even admit it? I need a therapist." I declared the last part louder than the rest, as I heard from behind me.

"Yeah you probably do." I turn around to see that it's not only the blonde that doesn't know her boundaries, but it's also my hopefully so to be Ex-husband. "Excuse me?" I asked her to clarify to my face, since this child thinks she can just walk right over here and judge me, without even knowing me. "I just think you look completely stressed out and a little crazy.. no offense.. but WyWy here has been telling me all about you.. and it sounds like lately you have been having a hard time trying to figure out what's real and what's not.. So you probably need to get yourself checked out before you completely go nuts." She giggled with this explanation as I felt my jaw clenching just as tight as my fists that wanted to pound into her pretty little face at the moment.

I'm normally the kind of person who just ignores insults, especially when being a bartender for so many years and seeing my fair share of drunk assh*les.. but if she is going to sit here and push all my buttons about something personal, she is going to get a fight. I have been being nice by holding back.. But I don't want to hold back with her.. Sometimes people need to be taught to watch what they say around people because it might come back to kick them in the ass.

"WyWy? Seriously?? Who the f*#k do you think you are? You know nothing about me and neither does my husband.. He hasn't spent time with me lately and knows nothing about what I'm going through.. and even if he thinks he does, he definitely shouldn't be talking about any of this with a strange child who knows nothing of this world yet.. because what are you 16?" I spitefully ask as she glares at me.

"I'm 20 almost 21.. So in other words, I'm young and ambitious.. At least I'm not old and can't satisfy her husband." She spats as I instinctively swing my fist that has been clenched, punching her without hesitation, sending her to the ground. "Learn who the f*#k you're talking to before you try to come at them.. You think you're something special? Just know you're not and if you think you're the one satisfying him, then just know he will be bored with you soon enough." I declared, standing over her as I noticed in my peripherals that Wyatt's arm is swinging up and I assume it's going to hit me.. But I didn't have time to react since he had caught me offguard.. I squint, just trying to brace myself for impact as much as I can until, grunts and hits are heard next to me. I look up to see that Aiden had blocked his attempted hit.

"No f*#king way would I ever allow that.. You will never lay a hand on her while I'm around." Aiden states as Wyatt gets mad, yelling over Aiden's shoulder at me. "I wasn't going to hit her.. you're just stepping out of place and where you don't need to be Aiden.. And Milly.. I can't believe you would hit one of my coworkers like that! Are you serious? And look, the others have come to the window to see this.. I can't believe you.. You're out of pocket right now.. I can't believe you will be acting like such a child. You need to leave and calm down before you come back here.. You're acting so f*#king psychotic lately. I just hope I don't get punished for your actions." He declares as he helps her up and she glares back at me. I can't help but flip her off as I wink her way, but this just makes the glares from Wyatt so much worse, looking as if he wants to kill me.

"What a cunt." I say under my breath as Aiden nods.. "yeah she is and I swear she is not any better at work either.. Just know I thought that hit was amazing and she definitely deserved that." He says as I nod and look away. "Maybe he is right.. Maybe I am acting out of pocket and need some help.. I have never done anything like this before and it probably never should have happened. I need to go." I informed him as he quickly followed me around the back of the house and out the side gate, so I wouldn't have to face those people inside the house.

"Milly.. are you ok?" He asks me as he stops me on the side of the house when we're out of sight. I shake my head trying to leave but he doesn't let me. "Just talk to me Milly." He insists of me but I just shake my head, not knowing what to say.. If I tell him the truth he will think that I'm crazy like everyone else and I don't want that.

I try to turn and walk away but he quickly grabs my arm to turn me back around to face him. "Please talk to me.. please" he begs of me and that just makes me snap. "You want to know?! My life is in shambles and I have no idea how to react.. I hate my husband and I don't care how bad that sounds. I don't want him anymore and wish I had nothing to do with him.. I am in love with my husband's best friend and that makes me sound so terrible when saying it out loud.. Plus the fact that I'm almost certain someone has been breaking into my house and messing with me even though no one will believe me!"

"I believe you. I swear I was just trying to figure out other solutions to your problems. I'm not trying to say that I don't believe you, I swear!" He says to me as I shake my head but still looking up at him. The concern on his face instantly turns into a realization as he says, "Wait.. you love me?" He asks as I feel my eyes widen, not knowing I blurted that out.. But I don't know if I'm ready for anything like that, especially right now.. So I tried to play it off by shaking my head, feeling like a kid who was caught in the act. "No.. that's.. that's not what I said.. I said loath." I replied, not thinking of my words, just feeling the nerves hitting my system.

"No.. you said love." He states as I feel my face heating up even as I shake it out in this cool air.. I'm sure I would be able to put tomatoes to shame at this point. "No.. I said.. like." I said sounding like a question, not having any confidence in my words to try to back them up. "No you didnt.. but I'll let you believe you won this.. But just know I'm talking to you about this later.. when you're single." He states as he leans in and kissing my lips, giving me what I somehow needed. I feel the air being sucked from my lungs as I kiss him back, just loving the feelings he brings me that I haven't felt for so long.

I end the kiss reluctantly just to state, "I.. need to go.." He quickly nods with me. "I can still try to talk with Wyatt about us if you want me to? Or do you want me to wait until you can be there?" He asks me, causing my shoulders to shrug. "I know I should be there.. So I will be back soon and hopefully everyone will be gone at that point.. so we can talk with him.. But if you still want to try to start, you can.. and know I will be there soon to add on to the conversation." I explained, giving him a chance to decide what he wants to do for himself.

"Ok.. I'll see you soon.. Please be careful and call me if you need anything." he says with so much worry threaded through his words. "I am going to try to talk to my therapist, but if he is not available, then I will just get a breath of fresh air.. something to help." I explain as he nods, just to pull me straight into his chest. "Just know you're not alone in this.. and everything is going to be ok.. I promise." he lulls in to my ear as he kisses my temple. I squeeze him just as tight before pulling away. I quickly leave the house as if none of this has happened, but we all know what I'm fleeing from.