Love From A Distance

Chapter 21 Finding Out

Millicent's POV

I leave the place I have called home for so many years, wiping away my stray silent tears, not wanting anyone at my house to know how hard that was to do.. it's almost violating to know that everyone watched this happen to me. But I won't let anyone know how much this hurt me, especially my husband.. He would love to know how much he has successfully scarred me for life. But I won't give him another reason to feel like he has won in this already sh*tty situation.

I storm down the street to the one place I probably shouldn't be going to, but there is not much that could stop me. With each step I take, more tears seem to run down my face as the heartbreak for once feels so real.

The lost years of not having a husband and thinking that this is the best life I could have hoped for, are now gone and there is a small hole left in its place. I can't say it hurts worse than it would if I had found out about this years ago by any means, because my heart has been numbed by the pain he has caused for so long, that this hurts a lot but not as much as it probably should.

I get to Aiden's door as I rapidly beat on it, just wanting to get into somewhere where I know I'm appreciated and more importantly safe. His door swings open as he looks shocked by the fact that it's me here. "Milly.. what happened? Are you ok?" He asks with so much concern as I just throw myself into his embrace.

The tears fall faster as I feel my guard finally being let down just because of my comfort with him. I sniffle and then gasp for air as he asks again. "Milly, what happened?" His hand rubs over my back as his other one securely holds me to his broad frame letting me know I'm safe with him. Right now I feel like that's the support I need.

"It was Wyatt.. and Lacey.. and.. God I hate this.. It hurts.. I hurt so much because of them." I stutter out to him not being able to go through the details, at least not right now.. the wound is too fresh.

"Oh I'm so sorry.. but I'm happy he finally told you about him cheating with Lacey for a long time now.. I know it hurts baby but everything will be ok.. that's why I got mad at him acting all innocent when I knew he was just trying to make you feel bad." he declares to me while still hugging me tightly. The shock of his words hits me like the biggest brick wall.

I push away from him not only shocking him but showing the shock apparent on my face. "He.. was.. cheating? With her? For months?" I stutter out at him inquiring about this. But my question changes his features to a shocked one. "I.. um.. I thought he told you. You said their names and were upset so I assumed."

I shake my head feeling more tears pouring down at the thought that he knew for at least months now and kept it to himself letting me get hurt.. How much longer was he going to keep his mouth shut to help him?

"You knew? He was cheating on me?" I ask already knowing the answer, but hating it all the same. "Milly.. I.. I'm so sorry.. I.." He tries to explain as he reaches for me.. but I quickly hit away his hands.

"You knew and you didn't care enough about me to help me with that.. you just let me continue to feel and look stupid as he continuously hurt me.. and here I am thinking you would be what I needed to feel better and protected.. when you're actually the one helping hurt me." I declare in disgust as I step back from him more.

"No Milly that's not true.. I was.. well.. sh*t.. I'm sorry." He says to me as I shake my head more then turn and walk away down the street to who knows where.

"Milly please let me explain." He begs of me and with the hurt that's clearly heard in his tone, so I feel like I should give him that opportunity. "What could you possibly say that would help make this any better? Because you knew he was cheating for a long while.. You knew how he was treating me at home.. You knew it all and you continued to let it happen." I declare just waiting with my hands now secured to my hips along with my toe tapping impatiently, awaiting his explanation that will somehow help.

"You're right I did know.. the whole time.. and I didn't say anything to you.. I was trying to let him be the bigger man because he said he wanted to tell you himself since that's what you deserved.. and I agreed with him.. so I tried to give him that respect because he is my best friend. But I'm so sorry.. I truly am.. and when I figured out that he wasn't going to tell you, I threatened him to tell you by a certain deadline or I would tell you." he declares to me as he takes a step forward so I take a step back.

"How long?" I ask him as he shakes his head lightly not understanding my question apparently by the confusion on his face. "How long much longer was your deadline?" I ask as he swallows and looks around hating the fact that I asked this. "How long Aiden?"

"Two more weeks." He says softly as I feel my jaw clenching together with my teeth grinding at that thought. I'm trying to not explode but he is making it harder to do so.

"So you were planning on letting him torment me more than he already did, for at least half a year?? For what reason? So you could pick up the pieces and get what you wanted from me and throw me to the curb as he did?" I gasp out wanting some air in my lungs which are feeling so tight and restricted at the moment. I can feel my heart beating against the ribcage making it feel like it could pop out at any moment.

"No Milly it wasn't like that I swear. I was just trying to give you both respect in your relationship." He declares as I shake my head. "Where in all of this was the respect for me? I clearly see the respect you had for him.. but none of this was done for me. I can't believe you out of all people would do this to me.. I honestly thought I loved you.. but obviously I was just in love with the idea of you, that you portrayed to fool me." I sadly say before turning back around.

"Milly wait please.. I was trying to not break your heart by telling you about your horrible husband.. I was ashamed of what my friend had become." He declares as I spin back around to find he is right behind me. I push my fingertips into his chest just to spat back. "You weren't too ashamed to make a stand and help me.. You would rather him break me down slowly day by day than just help me when I needed it most."

"My mother said I should tell you but I didn't even know if you liked me or wanted my help." He says as I scoff at that comment. "So the only reason you even thought about helping me was because you knew I liked you and you could get something from me." I declare as he shakes his head more. "No that's not what I meant Milly."

I throw my hand up and stopping his next comment, not wanting to hear it as I realize what he did just say. "Wait your mother knows?" His eyes widen even more with his mouth opening to say more, but how can I believe anything he says now?

"So I'm the only one that didn't know.. and I'm the only one really hurting in all of this and now I'm the only one feeling stupider than ever.. wow I need to go.. and now." I state while turning away, not wanting to look at him anymore. He quickly takes hold of my hand.

"Milly it's not like that.. I wanted to help you even if you didn't love me as I do for you.. I was just trying to respect both of you and your relationship.. I didn't want to push myself into it.. I was just trying to do everything I could to not be the one that hurt you." He tries to explain and believe me I get it.. But that doesn't make me hurt any less right now. I feel his hands rubbing over mine just trying to help ease my mind but that's not going to help me right now.

I slowly nod my head in understanding as I just as slowly pull my hand from between his. I continue to feel the tears falling down my cheeks as I let out a deep breath.

"And yet here you are hurting me the worst.. I wouldn't have ever blamed you for trying to help me.. yes it would have hurt but the fact that you would've wanted to help me would have been all that I saw.. but the fact that you sat back and let him continue to torment me in more ways than one and not do one thing about it, makes you guilty by association.. you might not have been the one hurting me initially or meant to hurt me like this but you did anyways.. maybe you will think twice next time before helping out the bad guy... I've... I've got to go." I sadly say trying to hold back the tears that I'm so tired of crying as my voice squeaks between almost every word.

Holding back my meltdown is harder than I ever expected but I'm doing it. "Milly please believe me.. I never wanted to see you hurt.. I only wanted to help you.. because I love you and I have for so many years." He says to me as I keep walking away. I turn around while backing away to say. "You have a funny way of showing it." before turning back around to keep walking down the street.

"Milly please give me a chance to prove it to you." He asks as I say over my shoulder. "I need some time alone." I keep walking and luckily I don't hear his footsteps following me anymore. Maybe he has chosen to give me the respect I asked for.. I think my therapist was right and I just need some time alone.

I keep walking in what now is darkness. But I know this path pretty well.. it leads to the public park that's right beside the dog park. I know I'm not supposed to be here since the park is closed after dark. But I know I will be alone there and right now that's what I crave to have.

I see plenty of trees to hide by but there is a tree directly in the darkness, away from the street lights and not even lit up by the houses nearby. So I successfully found my new hiding spot, at least until I figure out what to do next.

-------hours later-------

The cool air hits me harder than I anticipated since I didn't bring a jacket with me.. But with how long I have been sitting out here, I'm almost numb and not even noticing the cold anymore.

My phone which I forgot I even brought, starts to light up. I look at it to see that it's my husband calling. So I hang up without a second thought, I definitely don't want to talk with him. But before I even have the chance to set my phone down, he calls again.. and again.. but not leaving a voice-mail.

I continue to ignore his calls and now they are starting to get into the double digits of attempts made. He just won't give up. But I wish he would. I turn my phone on silent so I can only feel the vibrations because I'm trying to hide and he is making it almost impossible to sulk to myself.