Cursed Destiny

Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

KATELYN

Since when I was a kid, I've learned to be independent.

My name is Katelyn Bliss Alvarez, I don't know why my mother named me 'Bliss' when I know she's not happy to have me at her young age.

My mother's got raped by who don't know guy. That guy's nowhere to be seen, my mother never gets justice for herself, when that guy run away with his crime. And that guy is my father. My mother resented my father. I have grown up with her madness.

She makes me feel that taking care of me is just her responsibility, but not because she loved me or if she loves to do it.

I grew up like an independent girl, who can play however long I wanted.

My mother didn't pay so much attention for me, she's too busy with her job. I almost have grown up with another mother, and that woman is my best friend's mother. She's the one who makes me feel how warm to have one.

My Mother, she disgusted me as her child. I'm a rapist daughter, and I can bring back all the bad memories to her, whenever she looked at me.

Sometimes I know she loves me, but somehow I do know that she wished me to be gone.

Thanks to Tita Pauline, who treated me as her daughter, so I felt warm in my loneliness.

But that old philosopher's right. Nothing is permanent in this world. You can't ever say if the person you loved will stay long or not. Even the doctors using a percentage to predict your death, because even the smartest person in the world will never know what will happen next.

Tita Pauline's died in a car accident when I was 12, years old. Head injuries killed her. Since that day, I felt completely cold in the darkness. My mother kept on asking me, why should I feel or cried as if my mother died? She's still alive!

I wanted to tell her how cold she was, but I can't. I can't tell her how much I love her but felt so empty whenever she makes me feel that I'm a daughter of an evil who just ruins her life. She resented my presence and existence, so do I.

"Kate, tinititigan mo nanaman 'yan?"

Napatingin ako saglit kay Cindy, na bigla na lang lumitaw sa tabi ko. Linggo ngayon kaya naman pareho kaming walang trabaho. She asked me kung pwede raw siyang mag-stay na muna sa bahay ko ngayon. Nag-away kasi sila ng lived-in partner niya kaya ayaw niyang umuwi sa kanila. Pumayag naman ako dahil wala akong kasama sa bahay. Sa tuwing linggo mas pinipili kong manahimik lang sa bahay at magpahinga. At age of 25, I admit na nagsasawa na 'ko sa paggala. Mula teenager ako ay halos puro kaibigan ang inatupag ko, wala naman kasi akong responsibilidad sa bahay o sa pamilya namin.

Siguro pangunahing dahilan na rin kung bakit tinatamad na 'kong gumala nang gumala kapag wala akong trabaho. Mas gusto kong magpahinga.

Isa pa, sa pagiging hands on ko sa pagiging Interior designer, kailangan ko rin talaga ng mahabang pahinga nang hindi naman ako bigla na lang mamatay sa pagod.

Binaba ko ang picture frame na kanina ko pa tinitingnan. Picture 'yon ni Mama kasama ang step father kong si Tito Allan. Nakilala siya ni Mama bilang kliyente ng pabrika na pinagtatrabahuhan ni Mama mula bata pa lang ako. Hanggang sa nanligaw 'to kay Mama. I didn't track much kung gaano na sila katagal na magkakilala o nagliligawan.

All I know, 15, years old ako nang magpakilala siya sa 'kin bilang manliligaw ni Mama. 17, years old naman ako nang maging sila, hanggang sa nagpasya na silang magpakasal. Isang taon pa lang sila no'n pero tanggap ko naman si Tito Allan. He's been so sweet, and he treated me as his own child. He's more like my parent than my mother.

They decided to migrate in London, and I didn't come along. This Emmanuel ranch is where I have grown up. I know how much my mom resented this place dahil dito siya pinagsamantalahan. But I didn't. Sa panahon na hindi ako matanggap ng sarili kong ina, ang mga tao rito ang tumanggap at nagmahal sa 'kin. Nandirito rin ang alaala ko sa pangalawa kong ina na si tita Pauline, at ang dati kong best friend na si Rappy.

"Hmm ngayon naman si Rappy. Come on! Pumayag ka na kasi sa stepdad mo na lumipat sa London, malay mo magkita kayo."

Inismiran ko si Cindy, at tinatamad na binitiwan ang lumang letrato namin ni Rappy na hindi ko namalayang hawak ko na pala.

"Sa laki ng London, hindi naman kami magkikita do'n."

"Hindi naman siguro ganoon ka-bitter ang destiny para hindi pa kayo pagkitain," irap niya sa 'kin.

Hindi ko siya kinibo. Hinulog ko ang sarili ko sa ibaba ng sofa, saka nagpilit ng tulog. Si Rappy, ang anak ni Tita Pauline. Namulat at nagkaisip ako na kasama si Rappy. Siya ang lagi kong kalaro kapag iniiwan ako ni Mama kay Tita Pauline kapag nagpupunta siya sa trabaho. Hanggang sa kinalakihan ko nang sila ang kasama. Si Rappy, napaka bait niya sa 'kin. Maraming nagsasabi na kapag nadadapa ako ay hayaan nila 'kong tumayong mag-isa. Pero hindi sa kanila nakikinig si Rappy, lumaki ako sa alaga niya, nasanay akong kumakapit sa kamay niya kapag kailangan ko nang bumangon. Lumaki kami na magkakampi sa lahat ng bagay. Kahit noong siya na ang nagkaproblema, ako ang takbuhan niya.

Its been a long time since the last time I saw him. I wonder kung gaano na kalaki ang pinagbago niya. He's completely a teenager at that time. I was thirteen and he was sixteen. Naaalala ko pa, palagi niya 'kong inaasar dahil sa height ko, masyado kasi akong maliit kumpara sa kaniya na hanggang dibdib lang ako. I wonder what will he react when he saw that my height is higher than he ever thought. I'm 5'8 now.

Every memories at my childhood still in my mind, some of them are a blur, but most of them are like a tattoo, it didn't ever go, it's stayed.

Napatingin ako sa mini table kung saan nakapatong ang cellphone ko nang mag-ring 'yon. Nakita ko ang pagdungaw ni Cindy habang kumakain ng chips sa sofa at nanonood ng TV.

"Si Tito Allan."

Tuluyan na 'kong bumangon at kinuha ang cellphone ko. Sinagot ko 'yon habang lumalabas ng bahay. Maingay sa loob dahil sa TV, ayoko naman patayin dahil alam kong nililibang lang ni Cindy ang sarili para hindi maalala ang boyfriend niya.

Nang sagutin ko ang tawag ay bumungad sa 'kin ang matipuno ngunit makulit na boses ni Tito. Tito Allan is a half British and half Filipino, pero sa London talaga siya lumaki. Good thing, marunong siyang magtagalog. Isa pa bata pa 'ko nang una niya 'kong makilala, I'm not good at speaking English that time, kaya nasanay siyang magtagalog para sa 'kin.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapangiti habang pinapakinggan ang kwento niya. Kapag nangungumusta ko sa kanila'y mas gusto ko siyang nakakausap. Hindi kasi mahilig magkwento si Mama tungkol sa sarili, kaya naman hinahayaan kong si Tito ang magkwento sa 'kin.

As I listening to Tito Allan, I'm watching people passing in front of my house. Ranch Emmanuel is my home. Mula sa gate ng bahay ay kitang-kita ko ang halos kabuoan ng lupain. Mga berdeng halaman, malalago at malaking puno. Ang mga hayop na inaalagaan sa rancho. Ang burol kung saan ang paborito kong place rito. Sa tuktok ng burol ay naroroon ang pinaka matanda at pinaka malaking puno sa buong lugar. That tree brings back all the good memories of my childhood.

"And, Kate sweetheart, I have something to asked you," Tito Allan says.

As I listen to him, I couldn't stop myself from hesitating.

Tito Allan's planning for another branch of his business, hotel, and restaurant business. And he wants me to be their interior designer.

Seriously? That is too big!

"Come on, sweetheart! Your mother and I forgive you for refusing to be with us here in London, but not this time if you rejected us again!"

As I finished to talk to him, pumasok na 'ko at kwinento kay Cindy ang tungkol sa project.

She flipped her long hair and sip in her orange juice. "I know why you don't want to leave here."

Tiningnan 'ko lang si Cindy, at hinintay na dugtungan niya ang sinasabi.

"Pinanghahawakan mo pa rin ang pangako ni Rappy, na babalik siya?" She continued.

I looked away. The memory of yesterday still haunts me, I admit. I don't know why?! Mahaba na ang lumipas na panahon, alam kong dapat matagal ko nang binitiwan ang kahapon, masyado pa kaming mga bata para panghawakan ang mga pangako naming binitiwan na hindi pinag-iisipan. But hell! Bakit wala akong ibang maisip na dahilan kung bakit ayokong iwan ang Emmanuels?

It was 12, years ago. Nagawa kong mabuhay at masanay na wala siya. But I admit, somewhere inside my heart still reminiscing my feelings. Somewhere here still hoping to see him, wishing that one day he'll appear in front of me, and saying that he finally did his promise.

"You know bes? Ang tagal nang naka-hang 'yang promise niya, naligaw na ata! Kaya ikaw na ang pumunta sa London, and try your luck! Baka kampihan ka ngayon ng destiny."

***

AFTER three months of preparation, I finally arrived at London, England. Tinanggap ko ang offer ni Tito Allan, tutal nami-miss ko na rin naman sila ni Mama. Isa pa, tama si Cindy, masyado nang matagal ang panahong lumipas, baka ngayon kailangan ko munang magpahinga sa paghihintay.

If we're meant to see each other, I'll see him while I'm here in London.

Wala pa 'ko sa mga tourist spots ng England, namamangha na 'ko. Pagkalabas ko pa lang ng airport ay kita ko na kaagad ang magagandang building dito. I can't help but admire all the structural architecture na nag-design ng lahat ng ito. The interiors were completely perfect. All the team has made this should've given an award. The place is so refreshing.

Today is July 11, para sa 'kin ay sakto lang ang lamig at init dito, pero para sa mga matagal nang nakatira rito ay mainit na. Summer na sa England. I enjoyed my three days here with my stepfather and Mama. Ngayon oras na para umpisahan ko ang trabaho sa proyekto. Kasama ko si Tito Allan sa building ng hotel, kung saan namin pag-uusapan ang tungkol sa project. Ngayon ko na rin makikilala ang buong team. Ang sabi ni Tito, ako na lang daw ang kulang sa buong team namin.

As I followed Tito into the hallway, I scanned the whole place. The walls are white, the furniture here is combined with brown and black color. Every part of this hotel is very sophisticated. Very classic. I can't help but intimidate to every people here. I know they can work better than me. Seeing this project makes me want to back out, but I didn't. I don't want Tito Allan to get disappointed. At least I wore a formal dress up. I wore a green pastel blouse and tack in it in my black pencil skirt above the knees, with black 4 inches heels. I just let my straight short hair to loosen up.

Kahit saan ako lumingon, ako ang may naiibang mukha rito. Hindi ako mukhang foreigner, with my slightly tan color and natural black eyes. Maliit ngunit matangos ang ilong ko. I don't have their classic beauty, but its okay, I know I have my own beauty, mas maganda nga lang sila. Hindi naman ako nandito para makipagpagandahan, I'm just here to grand my stepdad's wish.

"We're here. Are you ready?" Tito Allan asked, holding a doorknob in the conference room with his playful smile.

Bahagya akong ngumiti, although nawirduhan ako sa kakaibang ngiti sa 'kin ni Tito Allan. Nang binuksan niya ang pinto ay kaagad siyang pumasok. Tumango ako sa sekretarya ni Tito na kanina pa namin kasunod saka pumasok na sa loob.

I was about to greet them, but immediately I freeze, when I saw him.

Hindi ako puwedeng magkamali, after 12, long years, I had never forgot his face. Some differences from the past and today. Kung dati ay tan siya, ngayon pumuti na ang may pagkamoreno niyang kulay, ngunit ang puti niya'y mapapahiran pa rin ng pagka-Pinoy. Mas naging perpekto rin ang kurba ng kaniyang mukha, sumasabay sa matipuno nitong katawan na kitang kita sa blue long sleeve polo niyang nakatupi hanggang siko. Halata rin ang tangkad niya sa mahahaba niyang mga binti.

Napalunok ako nang maglakad siya sa gawi ko, with those formal smile in his pinkish lips. I can't help but stare in his grey and brown eyes, na bumabagay sa may kakapalan niyang kilay.

I don't know what should I feel. My heart is bounding, pakiramdam ko ano mang oras ay tataob ako dahil sa bigat ng nararamdaman ko.

Hindi ko na lang namalayan na nakalapit na siya sa 'min ni Tito Allan. Narinig kong nagsalita si Tito.

"He's our Engineer Rafael Valerio, the civil engineering who'll manage this project."

Naglahad ng kamay sa gitna namin si Rappy. "I'm glad to meet you, and work with you, Miss Alvarez," he formally said.

Sumikip ang dibdib ko. I know this is Rappy, but why it sounds like he didn't know me, at all? I know who is he, he's my childhood best friend, Rafael Valerio, whom I used to call Rappy...

But why he's presence seems so stranger?