The Queen Of The Forest

As I walk through the trees in the darkest part of the forest, my feet know their destination; I don’t even need to think where I am going. The events that have led me to this place weigh heavily on my heart. I come here when I need to think. This is where the Heart of the Forest is - the beginning of my people’s true lineage, where the first of my kind received the gift of magic millenia ago. The trees move towards me, their branches parting to let me through uninterrupted. I feel their life force like a calling to my soul. I spot my end goal - the ancient tree at the center of the forest, the source of all magic. I settle down on the moss floor with my back resting on the mystic tree and breathe, placing my hands on the floor. I ask the forest to shield me, my eyes glowing their amber hues as I make the request. The forest begins to move to hide and protect me, creating a barrier between myself and the outside world. Here I am safe and for the first time I cry. My kingdom is in jeopardy from the family of the man who is my best and oldest friend and was supposed to be my chosen hiraeth; a deal our fathers had agreed on when we were but babies. All because I found my destined one. The baby growing in me is strong. This should have been the happiest time of my life… My Mother's abdication and my coronation. Even my wedding is planned for a week's time. All this was supposed to signal a new chapter in my life. A happier time… When he started to back away from me, I thought it was just the stress. My father told me this would happen but I didn’t believe him, he said I should have chosen more carefully. “Lorelei, think with your head, not your heart. ” My father’s words rang in my head. “While I know that Peter is not your hiraeth, he is from a good family and will only bring you strength and support. His family will not do well with the rejection. Robert on the other hand, while he is a nice lad, he will not bring anything to you but pain. His family has only ever been interested in power and they will use that against you. They will use you for their own gain. His coven is one of the weakest ones in the entire domain.” So here I am, sitting in the forest alone. I’m at a crossroads; I am in agony. Waves of unimaginable pain shoot down my spine with my arms and legs beginning to shake. The choice in front of me seems impossible. Do I give up,choose my throne and abandon love? Or do I try to fight for it all…does he even deserve that? Peter said he will take my child as his own and raise her. With Peter by my side, all the fighting would end. My lands would be at peace. But Peter is my oldest friend…what if his destined one comes along? I can’t do that to him. He would be stuck with me. He says that he would choose me, that he will always choose me, claiming he had always loved me. But I’ve felt that change that comes when you meet the one who is made for you. No one else is visible anymore. Your world stops and they become your single point of focus. So here I am, alone and pregnant, looking to the forest for answers. But the change in Robert was so abrupt… Can I give up on him already or should I continue to wait? Maybe I should hear him out. Yes, he’s distanced himself since we found out about the baby. He seemed so happy to begin with but as soon as he ran to tell his parents, he came back changed and quiet. I know we broke the tradition and we should have waited for the ceremony; the look of disappointment on my own fathers face was enough. My mother on the other hand was so happy. She knew that a baby born from a destined mate was a special blessing for our people. She said it was a sign of the goddess' true blessings having it happened so quickly. However, his change always seemed to have a hidden motive behind it. In the following weeks after we found out, he just looked sad and conflicted. Well, that was when he was around. He disappeared so often over these last days, with no real answer of where he was. I would ask him what was wrong and his answer was always, “Nothing for you to worry about my love.” Seeing him like that…catching him in that position, made a lot of sense to me now. One minute we were planning our future, the next I found him with the maid. My maid. He had her pressed against the wall, kissing her as I walked in. Peter beside me reacted first, shouting at them both. Robert begged to let him explain and the maid just looked at me and smirked. Peter, bless him, told me to give Robert a chance to explain but I couldn't because the betrayal cut so deep into my heart. I can’t get the look on Robert’s face when I walked in out of my head. He looked so angry and then hurt when I blasted them with my power. I couldn’t control it; the hurt itself exploded out of me. The smirk on the maid’s face was my undoing. My father came in and saw the destruction, telling me to choose Robert , or my throne. However, my Father forgets he holds no power over me anymore. I am the queen. I decide what happens in my domain. I will find my answers and I will not leave my throne. It is my daughter's birthright. It’s an easy choice, I know, but something’s also not right. I can feel it. Peter's family holds the biggest sway over the people and I will keep them on my side. They will accept my daughter as their own and give me their support. Peter will support me no matter what. They will get their original request. I will marry Peter and forsake my hiraeth. I wipe my tears away. If my people want me to show them who I am, then I will show them. Love or power… I chose power. For now….