My Possessive Admirer

19. Realisation

Ben's POV

I suffered several sleepless nights while my heart was too restless to fall asleep. The darkness that surrounded me, kept reminding me of my dreadful and bitter past, haunted me like the monster under your bed that doesn't let you sleep at night.

Nights like these…..

I feel like seeing you again…..

Countless nights I stood behind the fences of your house, gazing at your room's window. But you never noticed me. I see you brushing your hair before going to bed, slowly, lost in thoughts. I wonder... What do you think so attentively... I'm jealous even. Jealous of the things that come to your mind other than me.

Naive…You are too naive. You fail to see what's right in front of you.

That's why I'm scared to leave you all alone.

Do you remember in the past, a boy, your classmate in school, tried to touch you indecently. You came to me running but didn't tell me anything. Did you really believe that I wouldn't know if you didn't tell me?

PATHETIC...That boy…

He really thought he'd get away with it. I just waited for an opportunity to teach him a lesson, and it didn't take long since I grabbed him and wrecked his jaw with punch after punch when he was walking home alone after his football game. He was too dumb to find out that it was me.

The guy couldn't talk properly anymore after that. Serves him right. For the rest of his existence, he won't look at another girl like that.

I was suspected by the police, even spent a night in prison until my dad bailed me out. But I left no trace, nor did he see my face. There was never a valid case.

His family called me insane, deranged, few even named me a monster.

I only did the right thing…

I've questioned myself standing in front of my room's mirror. Asked myself over and over again. Am I a monster?

I never got an answer. I was nothing but a dark shadow fighting to survive each day, each moment. Striving to stay alive in the hope of heaven.

My Heaven, it was you...

But today when I look at myself I see nothing but an empty shell. I survived because of your love Bella yet now I wonder how much of me is still alive when I don't even exist in your memories.

'Wish I told you

About my battles,

How much I bled every day

In the thoughts of you.

Maybe you wouldn't have hated me then,

Wouldn't have left me alone…

You'd have held my hand,

Embraced me close…

You'd have told me 'I'm here

& I love you the most…'

Bella's POV

"Becky!" I was surprised when I opened my room's door and saw Becky.

"How long have you been standing there?" I inquired because she didn't even knock on the door.

"I let her in dear. She had something important to say to you." I heard mom's voice from downstairs.

"Ok mom," I was still hesitating to let her in like that. I had far too many questions that required answers from her. Is it safe even?

"I won't take long Bella. Can I come in?" She requested. Her eyes looked miserable, a bit puffy even. Probably because of crying for long. But should I even pay attention to that? The cops still didn't find any inklings about my abduction. What if she was a part of all that.

"Bella please…" She begged like she was almost about to burst into tears.

"Come in, Becky…" I wanted to slam the door on her face but my feelings for her prevented me from doing something like that. I guess I was still not over our past friendship.

“Bella, I’m really sorry. I got to know about the accident that happened with you after few days. Josh went missing the same day and the message on your phone was also sent from my number. But my phone has been missing since that day. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I’m so worried about Josh Bella,” She started crying saying the last sentence.

“How come Josh is missing all of a sudden!” I was shocked to acknowledge that he was nowhere to be found.

“I don’t know Bella, I don't know!” She uttered weeping, completely devastated.

“Please Becky try to be strong! Crying won’t bring him back,” I supported her so she doesn't break down. I knew how much she was emotionally attached to her brother. She loved him more than herself. But my shallow mind was thinking about something else. Are Josh and my kidnapping somehow related to each other?

“Someone is definitely playing games with us, Bella! You were right. Please trust me,” Her eyes pleaded, holding my hands.

“I don’t know what to say, Becky! I always wanted to trust you but…” I stopped midway thinking about the past incidents that happened to me. Becky was related to all of them.

‘’You are only believing what strangers are telling you, Bella. Our years of friendship… Did you forget everything? We are best friends Bella. I’m not lying to you!’’ She said looking straight into my eyes.

"Becky…" I was out of words. Is she telling the truth? Then the incidents?

"I was extremely upset with you that day Bella. Why did you accuse me in front of everyone that I schemed all the accidents that happened with you, without even listening to my side at all? You believed all those unknown people Bella, but not me...!" She gasped, after rambling all the feelings she craved to express. It was ripping my heart out seeing Becky in such an awful state. She put me in such a dilemma that it was difficult for me to find a way out. Who was lying actually? Was it Becky or all the people that I met by now?

"I can tell you the reality but I want you to be patient and let me explain," She insisted.

"You can say it, Becky," I assured, I'll hear her part of the story.

"The first time I saw you Bella, I was envious of you. You were the prettiest among us all in school and me... I looked very ordinary, nothing too special. Yet I was really loved by others. The boys liked me too because I was lively and fun. But the only one who mattered to me was Caleb. I really liked him. He was my neighbour back then. We were very young too, probably sixteen or seventeen. However, everything changed the day I proposed to him. Because he rejected me saying I looked ugly. Later on, I found out that he actually had a crush on you Bella." Becky's voice cracked at the end. I could see how she was agonizing because of the grief. It was hard for her to tell me the truth after all these years.

"From that day I really hated you. I resolved that I'll become friends with you and harm you in the worst way possible but I was just a teen Bella. I was young and dumb. After we became friends I understood how lonely you were. The friendship we had, I wanted to treasure it too. Something that started as fake, I wanted to make it into a reality," She said, inhaling deeply, "I'm sorry Bella but I never wanted to harm you. Believe me. Please forgive me, please...please..." She started crying.

"Becky! Please Becky! Don't cry!" I embraced her in my arms. I couldn't see her crying anymore. I was happy she told me everything about the past, "I forgive you. All is in the past now. I'm glad you are honest with me. I trust you!" I said, patting her head.

"The security camera footage where you saw me speaking with Candice, it was around the same time but it happened a day before your incident in the restroom Bella! Not on the same day."

"What?" I was shocked, "But I thought that it was on the exact same day!"

"No Bella! It was the day before. I was warning them not to disturb you and leave you alone. I saw what Candice posted and I only wanted them to stop messing with you!"

"I didn't know...that…" I was tearing up inside. I couldn't believe that I didn't acknowledge the fact that the videotape didn't have any date mentioned in it.

"An...and...the Caleb guy probably told you I was talking with his friend who tried to harass you in the haunted house. I did speak with him yes but it was only because my brother Josh was mixing up with him. I didn't like Caleb's friend at all because he is an evil company Bella. That day I was late to my brother's party because I went to meet him and alert him to stay the hell away from my brother. You can ask Caleb when he saw me talking with his friend. He will tell you. You got it all wrong Bella. I wasn't scheming anything against you or to harm you. I know I didn't bring up the past perceptions I had of you before but now I want to make a fresh start this time and our friendship will be based on real commitments, real vows Bella," Becky explained, smiling a bit.

I only nodded and agreed with her trying to control my emotions. I should've listened to her first then think if she is actually associated with the accidents or not. I made assumptions based on what people showed and told me.

I was embarrassed, ashamed of myself that I distrusted her in front of everyone like that. She is my best friend and I treated her like an outsider. All of this could be somebody's scheme to separate us. But all the occurrences were staged so flawlessly. It's literally absurd for a human to execute this with such perfection. So was my abduction was intended on someone's order?

BUT who could it be? Who benefited the most from all these?

Suddenly only one name came to my mind.

"BEN!"