Desire becomes Her

Chapter 9

"Life would be easier if she just behaved herself."

She had decided she had better behave herself. Lucian had hurt her intentionally before and he could have easily tipped her over the edge of that balcony. But he had rarely done it in anger, her arms throbbed for days after that and it made her think twice every time she wanted to throw something back at him; a snarky remark or an insult. She hoped after a while maybe he would let her come out with him again. She had really made him angry, but he had really made her angry. Somewhere in the years she had been with him, she had forgotten what he was, what he could do to her and what he did do to others who crossed his path. She was lucky really, that she was still alive.

Two months had passed; things had gone back to normal but she still had not been allowed out of the Pit. It had been quiet. He went about his business; she let him do as he wanted with her and his mood softened a little. Now, she looked at him and nearly let herself smile. It was so strange and so normal all of the sudden. She hated it. She hated that she had made herself change for the sake of not getting him angry at her. "I'm going to New York for a couple of days. I want you to come with me." It wasn't a request, she knew it was a demand and she wouldn't argue with him. She had longed to go back to New York for years. He kissed her and she let his hand burn into her back, the normalcy suddenly broken with that one touch.

They left a day later and to be in New York City in the fall was her favorite time. The air was cold and crisp and when she stepped out of the limo in front of the hotel she took in a deep breath and closed her eyes; a smile crept to her face. The concierge took their bags and she followed him into the hotel. They were put up in a suite, as usual. He never stayed in anything but the best. He had a few appointments set for that day and the next. He needed to make an appearance at the New York branch of the business and meet with some lawyers over another matter. After they had settled he gave her some money. "Go have a little fun. Not too much though." he warned "We have dinner tonight around 8. Buy something nice to wear." He handed her a small silk bag. "Phone, call me if something happens or you need to get a hold of me. There's chips for the underground; a few other things." She took it, but she was confused and it showed in her face when she looked up at him.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" it was an honest question.

"Because I was told if I hurt you again like I did a few months ago that I would regret it. You learned your lesson, there's no reason for me to be angry with you right now. So be good." He smiled at her, something he rarely did and although he was handsome when he smiled it gave her an unnerving feeling.

"Okay..." She put everything he had given her, cash, credit cards etc. into the coach bag she had found among her things and went to revisit her beloved New York. The ever changing city had not changed in her eyes. It was the same and she was happy to be home. She had not lived here her whole life; she had lived in an upscale neighborhood outside the city. But when she had moved here when she was 18 it had become home and now always would be. Addison was sitting at a sidewalk cafe with a cup of coffee in front of her, Her hair was down, she wore jeans and expensive soft, fur lined boots. A cream colored wool coat and a scarf. She looked like she belonged there and was relaxed even as the cooler weather gave her chills up her back.

........

Their trip was more normal than average. They stayed in the city like a normal couple visiting for business or for a vacation. They went to dinner, met with clients. She slept in and shopped. He took her to see a musical. She even visited the old club she used to frequent; The Dark Side. It was emptier than she remembered, and so much smaller than the high scale clubs Lucian took her too. But they stayed all night, danced and drank, talked and she forgot what he was for a few hours. They stayed until they closed and he let her sleep late into the morning. She was beginning to think he knew more than he let on. That there was a reason for all of this kindness.

The next morning, when she got up, he was unpacking breakfast. She stretched her arms out, shuffled from the bathroom and rubbed her eyes. Her hair in an untidy pony-tail, most of it coming out; she wore his white dress shirt. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Hung over..." she licked dry lips and hugged him from behind, leaning against his back and closing her eyes again. "I have something to tell you Lucian."

"I know."

"Oh really?" She pressed her forehead into his back and let out a sigh, moving her foot to fold her toes over on the tile floor cracking them and her ankle at the same time.

"Mmmhm..." He portioned out some eggs. Took toast from another carton and put it on a plate. She moved with his motion as he reached and twisted his torso to get breakfast ready

for her. "I know a lot more than you think." She felt the rumble of his voice as he spoke and opened her eyes, turning her head again to press the side of her face to his back. She felt his hand on hers and he pushed the plate to the other side of the counter of the kitchenette in their suite, where high bars stool sat.

"I..." She couldn't get it out and took in another breath, squeezed her eyes shut, bit her lip and leaned more weight into him. “I’m pretty sure I’m…”

"I know." He didn't let her finish her statement, putting his hands on the edge of the counter. The two of them stuck together.

"You told me it wasn't possible. You told me life couldn’t be created in the Pit." Her voice was thick with emotion. She was trying to keep herself from getting angry, or upset.

"I did. And that's true. But it didn't happen in the Pit, if you remember." He looked straight ahead, out the window in front of him and to the city stretched out under them. She did remember. And then the realization that he had never touched her when they were on the surface except that one time when they were in the club and she pushed him to the edge.

 "Don't get your hopes up. It won't last very long." She referred to the day he had taken her, she had been recovering from a miscarriage in the days before.

"We'll see about that." He wasn't angry. More disappointed in himself. He had been warned and he had completely disregarded that warning when she had made him so angry he felt he had to exert his authority over her the only way he knew how. He turned and took her shoulders in his hands but she wouldn't look at him.

"What now?" Her face was red but no tears fell. It was like she was embarrassed about the whole situation.

"I don't know." And he didn't. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him, seeking comfort from the same person she feared. He felt strange, his dark eyes lightened to blue only a moment before he squeezed them shut. He had never completely given up the compassion he felt for the human race. He could be cold and cruel, but because of the nature of the sin he represented, false emotions would present themselves. Addison could make those come through so easily. Lucifer was going to be furious.

"I hate you." She had embraced him, pressed her face into his chest as she cried.

"I know you do."