Unashamed

'What is the use of getting up? I mean, it does not matter if I die or just disappear; no one will ever wonder where I am. I don't wish to be in this world anymore; why am I here? Death seems like a reasonable choice, right'? I could feel the tears streaming down my eyes as I stood in front of the group, but I did try to be strong. I have been coming to these meetings for two months now, and I have only been listening to people's problems, trying to forget my pain, the pain that is engraved in my heart by my so-called sister and ex-mate, or maybe I could say husband, since well, we are married and still going through the divorce. I was the pack's Luna; I took care of everyone, and I loved my pack so much, and it all began with me betraying the very people I trusted. I plan on going somewhere for a month or so, so I started packing my bags as soon as I got home—the home I knew as my own for 5 years now. Well, I have been living in a hotel, unable to face Derik. "Amelia, please let me explain what happened. Please don't leave me; I love you, and I made a mistake. Please just go. Let's try to fix this; I can change. You know me, and you know how much I love you. What I did was stupid, and it will never happen again, I swear to God." I felt everything in me scream as I heard his voice. His breathing irritated me. Every time I think about him, all I can see is him with his face between Aurora's thighs and her screaming his name, her fingers tangled in his, in my damn bed, the bed that we shared for f**k sake. I tried to compose myself as I turned to look at him. I will never give him the satisfaction of seeing me broken by him; I would rather die than give him that. "Please stop; it is getting annoying as s**t. You are only sorry because you got caught. Tell me how many times you f****d my sister and came home and told me how you couldn't sleep with me because you were tired?. stupid me, I believed your bullshit. Now I am here to pack my stuff and leave this place. My lawyers are busy with the divorce papers. You better sign them, because this is your fuckup. I did tell you that one mistake and I would be gone. You thought I was playing, right? Now get the f**k out of my way." "Amelia, please," he said between sobs. "What the...? Are you crying? Please tell me the reason you are crying." The irritation grew stronger, the hate that I felt for him was beyond what I initially thought it was, and I could not help but start shouting. I took my bags and walked past him without a glance, and as I descended the stairs, I saw the former Luna and Alpha. "Amelia, Derik called us and told us that you guys have a misunderstanding, and now, by the look of things, it looks like it is true, but dear, why are you leaving? I'm sure it is not that bad for you to actually pack your bags and leave like this. Can we sit down and talk about this?" Luna Mary stepped closer, trying to take my bags from me. I latched on to my bags for dear life. "Luna Mary, I'm sorry, but I think your son did not tell you the whole story. Please, I have to go before I miss my flight. Derik will explain everything, and you might have a new Luna called Aurora." I tried to sound calm, but who am I fooling? I know that I looked like a mess with my puffy eyes and dark circles. I gave him my life as a stupid bastard, and I will never forgive him for that. "I beg your pardon. Aurora? Aurora, and I will never accept another Luna in my pack. I might have retired, but I will never let that happen. Sit down, and let's talk about this. If it is unrepairable, I will lend you my private jet to take you wherever you want to go." Alpha Mark gestured for the two sitters, and out of respect for my in-laws, I sat down to give them the story at hand. "Well, 2 months ago, I had a lunch at the neighboring Luna's to try and form some kind of peace between the pack's and help our husbands. Lucky for me, my husband did not need any help because I came home to him and..." "No, please, let me be the one to tell them." Derik came rushing down the stairs.