When The Sun Hides

Last

" What? Are you out of your mind? That cheap girl, really? Gustavo anong sasabihin ni Grandma at ng mga magulang mo?” it was Joyce, lecturing me non stop.

I look at her with a grimace, I had to go with her today because of grandmother's Order. I've known her since we were children, we became friends but after I learned that grandma will arrange me with her I refused.

I also find out that she has a thing on me, I told her since day one that I don't have feelings for her, she's important because she's my friend but I don't think it's better if we stay still if she throws herself at me.

" I already told you, didn't I? I got home to pursue her! Don't you dare tell this to grandma!"

I saw pain in her eyes, I love someone else, I don't want to hurt her but what can I do? I can't love her. I told Mom and Dad about this.

" But she's nothing compared to you, Gustav! she might take advantage of you! Y-your too rich and she might use you to have a better life!"

Oh! The hell I care. I stood up in my swivel chair and went in front of her. I saw how frustrated she was. Her eyes are glistening with tears pouring out of her eyes.

Two years is enough for me to be a better man. A better version of myself. I have lived the life everyone would've dreamt but I need more.

Money is not enough, all the things I have wouldn't be meaningful if I don't have her in my arms.

She is my weakness and also my strength. Having her will make me sane. Being with her is a treasure more than anything else in this world.

" Mind your own business. Joyce, don't stop me, because I wont. I told you, ``I can't love you because I love someone else."

She's so stubborn, she never stopped coming into my office to stop me until the day I saw her. She's so beautiful. That time all I think about is how to be with her.

I made her work for me, I did everything, I helped her family. Help her school. I want her to fall for me naturally. And I made it.

When we got stranded at that island I wasn't afraid for myself, but for her. I want to curse myself, because of me, we ended up on that island.

It was supposed to be a nightmare but it turns colorful when I'm with her. So much happiness and delight I felt those days. Especially when she finally said yes to me.

I already got the girl of my life, I already have the girl of my dreams, I dream of her for a long time, I waited long enough to make her ready for me.

But I f****d it all up, I never been scared all my life, but when it's come to her, my head would crumble. I need to follow my grandma for her sake.

" You will break up with her! She's not the right woman for you Gus! She isn't deserving at all! "

She always makes me happy but all I did was to bring her into her misery. I almost neglected her, I avoided her, even though I know she's longing for me.

Even though I know she's hurting, and when she plans it all, she does me a favor actually. That night I knew she would do that.

I saw how she put something on my drink, I played along. I want her pregnant. But I can't avoid what happened next.

" Kung hindi mo hihiwalayan ang babaeng iyon ay ako ang gagawa ng paraan! You won't like me getting the way, Gustavo."

I gritted my teeth. I stayed quiet. Thinking about what to do. I must stop her, kaya ko ba? That's the question.

" Grandma..." I speak. I don't want to give us up. Ikababaliw ko iyon.

" You know I can't let her go. I love her so much."

Naging ganoon ang mga araw na lumipas. I always fight her with my grandma. But I got defeated. I lost. I want to hug her that day.

" Please, believe me." Yes. Baby I believe you, but not now. Okay?

I want to tell her everything, how frustrated I am, but I stayed emotionless. I look at her with voided eyes.

" Leave." Pain.

She gives me pain everytime she goes near me. Unintentionally. I had to go away with her or else Grandma would do something that I wouldn't like.

She runs, she always runs after me. But I ignore her. I cried every night without anyone knowing. I lock myself in my office and room.

I always look at her pictures. I always reminisce about our moments together and it hurts me that one day I have to let her go.

That One day I will wake up without her in my life. It hurts me. Alot.

" Are you really sure na hindi sayo ang bata Gustavo?" My grandma asked. All of this sucks, but I'm happy that I'm going to be a father soon.

Hindi ko ito pinansin at naglakad, pero hinabol ako nito. Joyce is pushing her luck. She and her family keep going on that marriage for convenience. I won't let them.

Hindi ako papayag dahil bubuuin ko pa ang pamilya ko. Kahit sobrang labo na bumalik pa kami sa dati. Kahit na habang tumatagal ay unti unting nawawala ang pag-asa ko.

" Hey Bro? What's up? Balita ko ikakasal ka raw? " Kumunot ang noo ko.

" No. My bride is not yet here, she's not ready yet. " Bumuntong hininga ako. He chuckled.

" Joyce? Or her again?"

"Ana. She's going to be my wife. I Only want to marry her." I will die if I don't marry her.

" Grandma is being a pain in the Ass. How are you?"

"She ran away."

Hindi pa natatapos ang araw ay isang balita ang nakarating sa akin. She got an accident. Our baby didn't make it.

She's Gone...

I shout! Nag wala ako sa kwarto. Pinagbabato ko lahat ng mahahawakan ko, the maids keep on bangging the door.

I kept doing all of that. My room became a mess, but my body wasn't tired. I keep doing that till Mama and Papa. Enter my room.

" Omy! Hijo? Tama na... Anak please."

Ang sama sama ng loob ko dahil wala akong nagawa. I can't even look at anything dahil mukha niya ang nakikita ko.

Her face was full of tears, the last time we talked. Was the last time I saw her. Till 8 years. I'm in pain. Sorrow and regret.

" Hindi kana ba talaga titino? Is this about her? Ana?" His Grandma.

After 1 year without her is a messy life. Shits happened. Napabayaan ko ang trabaho at ang mansyon. Lagi akong nasa kwarto tulala at umiinom.

Ni hindi na ako kumakain. Without her is hell. I died when I lost her. My heart stops beating, it's dead.

" Wala kana bang ibang gagawin kundi ang magluksa? Dapat masaya ka dahil tinuwid ko ang landas mo---"

Hinagis ko ang basong hawak ko sa padar. Should I be happy? f**k! How? Does she know what she had done to my life?

She had no Idea for what she did. I respect her so I stayed quite kahit na nilulukob ng galit ang puso ko.

"Gustavo! Huwag mong sayangin ang buhay mo sa taong walang kwenta at wala dito!"

" She's not here because of me. I'm the one to blame."

" That's the right thing to do! You don't need her!" No, I need her more than my life. She's my life. She's my reason for everything. And now I'm a mess.

"Just leave." I said with monotone.

Years past and my life stayed that way, lugmok na lugmok ako for five years. Until I decided to change life again. I will pursue her again.

In a span of 6 months I became a devil. Dark days will continue that way. I became more serious with work, hindi na din ako nag trabaho sa mansyon.

" Boss, may balita na nasa California siya. But we are not sure kung siya iyon."

" Don't f*****g give me that false signal! Go find her and do what is worth my money. Binabayaran kita!"

I look for her for f*****g 2 years! But I couldn't find her. Lalo akong nalugmok. Puro trabaho, marami na rin akong natanggal na empleyado dahil sa emosyon ko.

I lost my control every time I think about her. I admit, I hate myself for doing that to her. She doesn't deserve how I treated her. I regret that.

Everyday, I regreted that I let her go. I should've fight for her. I don't want to lose her. One way or another, I still lost her. In any circumstances, I let her slip away just like that.

Because of cowardice the love of my life was destroyed because of me. I'm the one who destroyed her. So, I understand when we see each other after eight long years.

She's beautiful, but right now. While looking at her. I realized what I had lost. I lost a diamond. My life and strength.

Love. I love her, all the ice in my heart fade away when I'm looking at her. All the evil things vanish because of the love I have for her.

" Gustavo. Tigilan mo na ako! Hindi na ako babalik pa sayo! Matagal ng natapos ang sa atin. Hindi na tayo babalik sa dati."

It hurts, she lives without me and it seems that she is used that way. Without me is nothing to her now.

"No. I will fight. I'm not gonna do the same mistake, Again. I waited for long. Hindi ko na iyon sasayangin."

She look at me with despair and anger in her eyes. Yet, she stay gorgeous in that. It's like looking at my dream, kahit na sobrang malabo pang bumalik siya sa akin ay tinuloy ko pa rin ang pagsuyo sa kanya.

Until she shows up with my brother! It angered me, as I looked at her. She looks happy with him. It breaks me that now someone is making her happy and that's not me.

After knowing our son is alive, she kept on denying that fact but I don't believe her. I know. He's mine. They're mine. I look at them with a mad face.

Until I got the chance to see her in the restroom. I had to get her, and I did. She keeps on shouting but I never care. As long as she's with me she can do anything.

" You'll stay here. With me. Only me." She just looked at me. Defeated.

I know after this, my grandma will hinder us again. But I know that this time. I choose to be on her side. If they can't accept us, I don't care.

Ginawa ni grandma ang lahat, it pissed me off. But she married me. The happiest days of my life.

"I know that you will be back Gustavo. Apo, I'm so happy that you're here with us."

I smirk. She wants me to be here for the sake of Grandma. I don't want to be here, kung hindi lang dahil sa asawa ko.

"I'm here because Ana wants me here."

Naningkit ang mata ni lola.

"What? Ano ba ang nakita mo dyan sa babaeng yan. Joyce is much more better-" I cut her. I don't want to hear it.

"You know what lola... Wala sana ako dito, pero dahil kay Ana, I'm here. She pushed me away again for your sake." I shouldn't be mad at her but I am. "I can't be here with you, you know that? I can't be with the person who ruined me before. Who ruined my supposed family. I should've hated you! You are so selfish! Dahil sayo! Muntik na akong mawalan ng anak! Dahil sayo yung asawa ko iniwan ako. I become miserable. You think that's better huh!"

I can't help but burst with all my feelings. The madness, frustrations, fear, everything.

"Ginawa ko iyon apo dahil mahal kita ayoko lang na gamitin ka ng taong iyon-"

"She didn't Lola. She love me! mahal ko yun e! Mahal na mahal ko yun! Pero anong ginawa niyo? Ngayon na pilit kong inaayos ay ginugulo niyo na naman. Please Lola! Kung mag papatuloy ito! Baka tuluyan na akong mawala sa inyo."

I see the frustrations in her eyes, my words are not enough for her to realize what she did, that it's all wrong! That she ruined us.

She can't ever understand.

I married the woman that I loved, after waiting for so long, I finally have her. My dream, success, my life. She's the meaning of all those words.

She and my children are my everything. We will conquer the world. Things might get in our way again but I know that we have each other.