Nostalgic Deception #1: Above The Waves

Kabanata 46

"Ikaw, any girlfriend?" I arched my brow.

Well, di kataka-taka kung may girlfriend sya. Fiancée? Wife? Kung pagmamasdan ng maayos, talagang kahit sino naman ay mamamangha sakanya. Kahit ako ay humanga din sakanya dati, hanggang don nga lang. I've never wanted myself to be with him. Kumpara kay Josh, bukod sa paghanga ay gusto ko rin syang makasamang tumupad sa mga pangarap ko.

He shook his head. "Flings, meron naman." chuckling, he uttered. I gasped, bumaling ako sa labas. Napakagandang pagmasdan ng mga tanawin, even the city lights are slowly turning on.

"Flings." I nodded, smiling a bit. "Ilan na?"

"Three? I'm not sure," he crossed his arms. "I don't take relationships seriously anymore. Ayoko lang muna ng sakit sa ulo."

I slowly rested my back on my seat, tanaw na tanaw mula rito ang pagbaba ng araw. Kulay kahel na langit ang tinitingala ng bawat katao. I smiled bitterly, ilang oras na lang ay ninth anniversary na sana namin. He broke up with me during our seventh year, dalawang taon na ang nakalipas mula non. I was so broken during that time, saksi ang madilim na kalawakan sa sakit na nararamdaman ko sa mga oras na yon.

"Masakit sa ulo magseryoso." I nodded, nanliit ang mga mata ko. "Have you ever tried?" bumaling ako sakanya, naabutan kong nakapako din sakin ang paningin nya.

"Dalawang beses." he leaned on the table, bumaba ang mga mata ko sa kamay nyang nakapatong sa lamesa. "I was so stupid and immature to let it go...."

"Most of us went through that," I shrugged. Gaya samin ni Josh, we were so young back then to not know about the real life in between a relationship. "It's just a matter of another chance."

Matter of another chance. Hindi lahat nabibigyan ng panibagong pagkakataon para ayusin ang mga pagkakamali sa nakaraan, sa kabila ng napakaraming tao na umaasa rito. If you're given another chance, you should prove everyone involving yourself that you deserve it.

His lips rose up, showing his interest to our topic. "Hindi lahat nabibigyan ng panibagong pagkakataon." he smiled bitterly. "Some were fixed, pero di na kayang ibalik sa dati."

He's right. May mga relasyon na naaayos pero hindi na gaya ng dati. It was just fixed, but the damage will always be visible. Happiness, vibes, care, interest? They are just some aspects in a relationship na nagpapatunay na may mga bagay sa nakaraan na hindi na kayang ibalik.

"And that's the most painful part in it..." I shrugged.

Kalaunan ay nagyaya na akong umuwi. I need to go somewhere, magaayos pa ako paguwi. It was great, hindi ko inasahang makakasundo ko si Duke sa iilang bagay.

"Kayls." Duke called out paglabas ko sa kotse nya.

I arched a brow. "Uh?"

He slightly scratched his neck, bumaling sya sa kanan habang hawak ang steering wheel. Bumaba ang mga mata ko sa braso nya, his muscles were flexing. His veins were boastful to show itself to me. Napaiwas ako ng tingin nang makitang nakatingin sya sakin, nilamon ako ng hiya.

I heard him chuckled. "Take care," he smiled at me. "Let's see each other again when you're free."

I'm not sure if I will still have another free time to roam around, marami nanaman akong aasikasuhin pagbalik sa eskwela. At the end, I gave him a short nod. Maybe I'll spare some time when I got to see another chance.

"Sure," I swifted my gaze at the road. "Ingat sa pagdr-drive. Gabi na, you should go." I nodded.

Smiling, he maneuver his car before accelerating it ahead. Nang masigurong nakalayo na sya ay saka lang ako humakbang patungo sa condo. Kinapa ko ang switch ng ilaw, my phone rang as I turned on the lights.

Lexi calling....

[Nasan ka?] bungad nya. [We're on our way, susunduin ka na namin dyan.]

I took off my shoes, nilapag ko sa sofa ang bag ko. Dumiretso ako sa cr to check my stuffs there, kumpleto pa ang mga kailangan ko.

"I'll follow, baka medyo malate lang." tugon ko. "Mag-aayos pa lang ako, kauuwi ko lang."

I heard her gasped, narinig ko pang naguusap-usap sila sa kabilang linya kaya natawa ako ng bahagya.

[Uh? Kanina pa daw natapos ang klase nyo, don't tell me you went on a date? Makayla, spill it. May tinatago ka ba samin?] she sounded like a suspicious mom.

"Uh-hmm, Lexi, I just went to meet an old friend. Well, it wasn't a date." I uttered.

I took off my clothes to take a shower. Hinayaan kong naka-loudspeak ang phone ko, I placed it on top of the sink. Hininaan ko lang ang shower para marinig ko sya ng maayos.

[Wasn't a date? I won't buy that excuse, it's already past 8 in the evening at ngayon ka lang nakauwi.]

I rolled my eyes, chuckling. "Sounds like a mom, though?" pang-asar ko. I clicked the body wash to open it which caused a sound. "Dumaan ako sa gym after class, I'll be back to my usual routine."

[Fine! Basta sumunod ka, Jana will burst into an anger if you don't come. By the way, pano ka pupunta? You shouldn't grab a taxi or whatsoever. Will you just call later para masundo kita?]

I was exfoliating when she asked that. Sandali akong nagisip ng isasagot habang pinapalakas ang shower to wash away the exfoliating scrub.

"Iniwan ni Jarred yong kotse nya rito, I'll use that for now."

[Are you sure? We can pick you up if you want, gabi na kaya.]

I finished my routine. Sinuot ko ang bathrobe bago ako lumabas, taking my phone with me. I scrolled through it, chineck ko yong mga daan tungo sa club ni Jana.

"Safe naman yong dadaanan, I can go on my own." I assured them.

[Okay, finish your stuffs and go here. I love you, ingat.] anito nya bago pinatay ang tawag, narinig ko pa muna ang ingay ng paligid which means they're already there.

I blow dried my hair before setting it into soft curls. Natigilan ako, ngayon lang ako nagkaron ng oras para pagmasdan ang sarili ko. I can see changes in myself. The balayage-ombré shade of my hair defined my facial features. I used my free times in pampering myself, going to spa and salon. There were also times na kusa akong dinadala ng mga paa ko tungo sa mga nakagawian naming puntahan dati ni Josh.

Nakakatawang isipin na gusto kong makalimot, gusto kong mag-move on pero kusa kong binabalikan ang nakaraan. There's something in me that doesn't want to forget him, kahit anong pilit ko ay kusa ko syang inaalala.

Chinarge ko muna ang phone ko bago ako nagayos ng sarili. I applied a light makeup, enough to see my defined features under a dim light. I wore a black shiny short off-shoulder dress that tightly hugs my body, it's paired with a 3-inches black ankle strap pump.

My eyes roamed around as I stood up, tinignan ko kung maayos ang buong unit bago ko sinakbit ang shoulder bag ko. I pulled out my phone from the charger then I went out. Nagtipa ako ng message kay Jarred para alam nyang gagamitin ko ang kotse nya. During the last vacation, I went to a driving school due to my brother's own will. Minsang iniiwan ni Jarred dito ang kotse nya para daw magamit ko, they wanted me to learn driving since they saw me devastated from a breakup. Maglibang daw ako kahit papano.

As soon as I received Jarred's reply, pinatunog ko na ang kotse nya bago ako pumasok sa loob. I fixed the rearview mirror before I maneuver it. I followed the direction that's being lead by the google map. It took me almost half an hour to reach the club, medyo malayo ang condo ko dito.

Sumalubong ang maingay na paligid pagpasok ko, there were fake smokes that blocked my vision. Hinintay kong lumiit yon bago ako tuluyang dumiretso papasok, hinanap agad ng mga mata ko kung nasaan sila. They didn't use a VIP room, maybe to interact with people. Agad kong inilapag sa couch ang bag ko nang makaupo ako sa tabi ni Kezaiah, I rested my right leg on the left one.

Kasabay ng pagbagsak ng bawat beat ng kantang dumadagundong sa buong pasilyo ay ang paghaharumento ng puso ko. Dinig na dinig ko ang pagwawala non, nilalamig ako.

"It's the second year." pasigaw na bulong sakin ni Kezaiah upang marinig ko sya. It was enough for me to hear her kahit sobrang lakas ng music.

"Of our breakup?" I whispered back.

She nodded, ini-straight nya yong hawak nyang shot. "What's your plan?" she asked again.

I didn't answer her right away. My plan's still the same.... I'll wait for him.

****