Kabanata 10
1044 Words
Hestia's POV
When I woke up, I immediately felt my head aching. Inalala kong pilit ang nangyari kanina hanggang sa unti-unting nagsink-in sakin mula sa paglubog ng araw hanggang sa pagsulpot ng bagyo at ang litrato.
Litrato...
Pain was evident on my heart-pang when I tried to reminisce about the sudden confusions about the image. Sinubukan kong bumangon pero parang may pumitik sa ulo ko dahil kumirot 'yon ulit. Tears began to fall as I tried to find answers, pinilit ko pang alalahanin lahat ng makakaya ko dahil baka sakaling nandoon ang sagot.
"Hey, are you okay?" Gulat na tanong ni Caspian.
Kahit ako ay nagulat na nandito siya. I gave him a fake smile while enduring the suffocation I feel.
Unanswered questions hit my mind again. Gusto kong magtanong sakaniya kung sino ang babae sa litrato at 'yong bata. I want to know why does she look exactly just like me. Is she part of my life? Am I related to her? Was she the reason why he had to get me out of that cruise and save me?
Was everything just because of her?
"T-The picture..." I wondered.
Napakarami kong gustong malaman pero hindi ko alam kung saan at paano magsisimula. All I want is to do is cry and cuss because of irritation that's swallowing me up.
"I asked for a food, you should eat when it comes." He swifted the topic. Nakaramdam ako ng inis dahil sa ginawa niya.
"I was asking about the picture." I insisted.
"Shall I prep---," He was so urged to swift our topic, obviously avoiding anything about the picture.
"For fvck's sake, Caspian! Just answer my goddamn question! Stop making me a fool in this situation!" Hindi ko na napigilan ang sariling mapasigaw.
I was too determined to know everything about the figures on that picture. Hindi ako papatulugin ng konsensya ko hangga't alam kong marami akong dapat malaman.
"The picture has nothing to do with you, Solene." He coldy said.
I immediately felt a sting on my chest. Hindi ko sigurado kung dahil ba 'yon sa isinagot niya o dahil sa pakikitungo niya sakin ngayon na para bang wala lang ako rito. Why do I suddenly felt unwelcome? As if the belonging I felt before was never really there.
"Really, Captain?" I sarcastically smirked on my bed.
Tumayo ako mula doon at nagtungo palabas ng kwarto. I heard him calling me twice but I didn't urged to look back.
Dahil sa dami ng iniisip ko ay pakiramdam ko na lang na nagmumukha akong tanga. I won't give a damn about the picture if it wasn't exactly look like me! If only I'm not on my right state, I'd probably think of that woman as myself. Walang nabanggit ang mga magulang ko tungkol sa kapatid ko o kakambal kaya nakakapagtaka na mayroon akong kamukhang-kamukha at dito ko pa nalaman dahil sa litrato na nahulog ko.
I heaved a sigh and immediately changed my direction. Plano ko sanang pumunta kay Artemis pero mas pinili ko na lang magtungo sa garden. I went to the tree house and turned off all the lights. Binuksan ko lang ang lampshade sa gilid ko para doon kumuha ng liwanag.
Umangat ang mga kamay ko papunta sa pisngi, inis na napahilamos na lang ako ng palad sa mukha. Am I being lied to? Oh, please! I really don't care...I won't care if only I wasn't affected. Isa pa sa kinakainis ko ay ang pakiramdam na para bang konektado talaga ako doon at kusang pumapasok ang mga tanong sa isip ko kahit hindi ko pilit na pag-isipan.
I hate the fact that I began to question myself. I began to wonder who really am I. I began to feel the pain, longing, sadness and anger.
Just when I was about to fall asleep in frustration, I felt a warm hand caressing my head gently.
"I'm sorry, Solene..." He said softly.
Mapait na ngiti ang tanging naibigay ko kay Caspian na nasa tabi ko. His eyes were clearly visible from the moon's reflection. Sandali akong napatitig doon.
"If I ever explain, would you listen?" He said--almost a whisper.
Then there the moon reflected sadness, anger, pain, longing and fear from his eyes.
Why does his eyes show fear? What does he fear?
With system raging, I managed to control myself from anger. Ayokong pangunahan ang katotoohanan. I may be feeling pain and madness on my track, but the questions will remain unanswered if I put my emotions first.
"Will you trust me, Sol?" His voice was shattered.
Will I trust him?
"I won't be here if I don't." Halos pabulong na sagot ko.
As the moon reflected his eyes, my lampshade emphasized his tear. Kitang-kita ko ang pagkinang ng mata niya dahil sa luhang nagbabadyang tumulo.
It caused me pain for some unknown reason. I hate seeing him in pain. The last thing I want is to destroy him. Apektado ba ako sa litrato na 'yon dahil sa nararamdaman ko? Am I mad because I'm jealous?
Was it all because of him?
"Why the fvck is it so hard to let you go, Sol?" His voice was so painful that I thought I couldn't bear.
"Who really are you in my life, Caspian?" I whispered. Ayokong ipahalata sakaniya 'yong sakit at g**o na nararamdaman ko.
I'm having my own battle within myself right now. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko sa maraming dahilan.
He leaned to me and his eyes began to examine my whole goddamn face. I saw how his stares went down to my lips before I felt it on mine. I gasped as soon as he began to move slowly, he angled his face to deepen the kiss. With shock, I responded to him when he bit my lower lip and sucked it gently. Kusang umangat ang mga kamay ko para isabit sa leeg niya at palalimin ang labi namin sa isa't isa. He pulled away as soon as we lost oxygen. We both catch for an air while staring at each other. Napaiwas ako ng tingin dahil sa kahihiyan na naramdaman. Why did I give into him suddenly?
"It was you," he sighed, slowly uttering. "It was only you, Solene."
- Writer
