Return To Be Mine

THE ROOM (PART 1)

JOSHUA

I felt like a shitty man for calling her a b***h.

It hadn't been my intention to do so, and yet the words often slipped out without thinking, as I had been acting lately.

Seeing Paola in that moment, and her family, made me want to turn back, and wish I had never strayed from my path. My mom had called me last minute to invite me to dinner that night. She had told me that my dad had asked about me. It had been two years since I had been banished in anger for marrying Fanny.

However, in that moment, the only thing I thought about were those pansy flowers I had in the trunk of the car as a first attempt to approach and apologize to my wife. Adauco had made me see the reality of things, and I definitely wanted to take a risk with her, to be by her side and motivate her to pursue her dreams again. Her betrayal had hurt me deeply, and I wanted to overcome it.

***

My thoughts took me back to that moment, when I saw her bare back for the first time, after the rain had caught us off guard and she took off her blouse to put on one of my dry shirts, I noticed her tattoo. She had sentenced herself to only receive those flowers if I ever gave her some. The next day, I went to her workplace with a bouquet of those flowers that I had asked the gardener to get for me.

"Don't push it!" She covered her mouth to refrain from shouting when she got into the Chevy and saw the bouquet of pansies. She had had a difficult day at work. She hopped around in her seat out of excitement as she held the bouquet in her hands.

I smiled and nodded.

"I wanted to give you flowers for a long time, but I never thought you were so specific about the type of flowers you prefer," I said.

She threw herself at me to hug me. In that moment, I didn't think anymore and I leaned in for her lips. It was the first time I kissed Estefania and I felt like I was in blessed heaven. I was nervous because I didn't know if she would reciprocate, but as I felt her arms wrap around my neck, I knew in that moment that it would be worth everything to be with her.

A simple kiss convinced me to break the arrangement of an arranged marriage. A loveless marriage that I was not very excited about.

"I think this kiss tells me that you find me attractive." Her lips were still pressed against mine.

She couldn't help but laugh quietly.

"Oh, you're definitely hideous," she joked.

"And yet you want me in your bed."

We both laughed.

***

"Joshua!" Isabela insisted again. She got up from her seat.

"Son, it's good that you're here!" my mom shouted immediately.

I let my sister and my mom approach me. In the distance. I felt Paola's gaze fixed on my chest, as well as my dad's and my sister Lea's.

Isabela hugged me as a welcome. It had been two years since we last saw each other, and the only time I occasionally saw her was in secret with Lea.

"But look at this. Two years without seeing each other, and you haven't changed at all, Joshua," Isabela wore a silver dress for dinner, long-sleeved with a backless design.

"It's been so long," I greeted her with a hug.

"I didn't know you were coming to dinner." She glanced at mom at the same time she was letting go of me.

My mom smiled at me, somewhat nervously. I stared at her for a few seconds, trying to decipher her. I gently shook my head.

"You do know that I'm married, right?" I questioned, emphasizing Paola's presence, and her parents, whom I recognized later.

"Son, please," she pleaded with me.

"I came here for you, for my dad, not for her, and I find it very distasteful..."

My mom interrupted me. "It was the only way your dad agreed to see you." I gave her a stern stare. "It's just a dinner. Paola and her parents are just guests. I don't intend to do anything else. Son, all I want is for your dad to start accepting you again. Eventually, I'm sure he will accept Estefania."

I glanced sideways and saw that my dad was watching me from a distance as they continued their conversation. It was the first time that he looked at me in two years, after shouting at me that I was the worst scum in the world for going against his will. All I wanted from them was for them to accept me again, and eventually accept Estefania.

"We missed you so much. Stay for dinner, Joshua. The gatherings are not the same without you," Isabela insisted.

I took out my phone to check the time. It wasn't late, and I planned to stay at the house where my wife was living. I didn't mind sleeping on the floor next to the door as long as Fanny would listen to me. I had some time.

"I'll just eat and go. I won't stay for dessert," I announced, somewhat annoyed. "Mom, I know your intention is to mend things with my dad, but I don't want you to reunite me with Paola. It's quite uncomfortable."

I entered the lobby and greeted everyone.

I woke up the next morning with a horrible headache. I brought my hands to my forehead because it felt like it was splitting. I blinked a couple of times before sitting up. I struggled to adjust to the light because my eyes hurt. I couldn't remember anything from the dinner.