autumn leaves inevitably

ending since beginning

For me to be sober

Could he have still died?

Could both of us have lived

Without suicide

where would I be

If leaving him weren't the worst thing I ever did

if he'd given me just a few more days

would he have still did what he did

would he have ever been okay

if he had trusted somebody else

Woul he have stayed would he have still felt how he felt

could we've ever existed together

or is this really the way that it's better

it should have been me

because then he would never

should I have just ended it at all

Our relationship severed

Because in the end all i did was leave

and he told me not to

Not even when he sleeps

Is it really my fault that I thought

he was safe in the hands of our motherp

could the drugs have been laced

Or did she struggle with the burdens of her kids

him testing something for her

The last time he ever did

Could he have been happy

could ever really lived

Was this always a part of the plan

ever since we were kids

because if so then this God is an insufferable one

To create such a life

And then ended for fun

Do we really have choices

Is there omething I could have been done

Or was this ihis ending when his story begun

What does it say for me

that his death saved my life

And and trying to make him mean something

I'm finally putting up a fight

I'd rather save him instead

I take flight

At least he had a chance

I was never alright

If you trusted somebody else

Wouldn't it turned out the same

would it change the last words

he said where my name

Was there something I could have said to take away the pain

All that matters now is that your in outer space