A Love like No Other!

Hi my name's David I am a 36 year old gay male who was born in February 1988, I would like to share how I found what I thought was not possible, I found a love beyond it's greatest powers I found a friend, a person I can count on, trust, talk to, love, laugh, cry, Someone who loves me and all my flaws, a man who doesn't care about what my past looks like that's willing to learn and grow with me. I was previously in a 13 year relationship which I was verbally, physically, emotionally abused on a daily basis, I was treated as if my life was not of any kind of value, Biten, slapped,burned,stabbed, spit on, kicked, punched, choked, a life of Domestic violence was filled with hurt pain. I was powerless against a man who refused to let me go, Forced to love a man who was a fatal mistake. A few years ago I met a guy named Andrew who went by Drew, I met him on a dating or hookup site called grindr. Drew was mixed Japanese and American who wanted to have s****l intercourse so I decided to meet him. we met up and once he arrived I noticed he was shy wearing a hoodie hat and face mask very mysterious and calm. we ended up having s*x and I will say wow. The feeling I had as my d**k grew and got hard. I definitely slid my d**k inside him and f****d him like I owned it. I had this feeling that I haven't had in such a long time. we then said bye and did our own thing we ended up meeting up several more times and of course I f****d him again and again he loved how I f****d him and so did I. After a while I started asking myself why I felt a certain way about him, I couldn't figure out why of all people was I catching feelings for him, was my mind playing tricks on me? was I dreaming of something that I could never have? we ended up not talking for a few years I decided to marry and ended up saying Andrew's name and I couldn't stop thinking of him. I missed his smile, personality, missed that feeling I had when we were together. what should I do tell him how I felt or keep it hidden. God knows I wanted to hold him, kiss and feel his body close to mine. the last thing I wanted was to look like a fool and express it to him and him not feeling the same. I ended up not happy in my voided marriage and I knew I wasn't being honest. I actually was in love with Andrew. we are so different Andrew and I how would this work? Was it possible for us to love each other? I was a bad boy and he was not. a calm never cussed or got in trouble like was it possible to have things in common. As time passes then days months n years I found myself still thinking of all our past interactions just wondering what our life's could have been if we had tried to start a life. I forced myself to not fall for him and ignored all my thoughts and feelings. I couldn't stop thinking of him I dreamed of him and I went on a hunt to find this wonderful soul. I searched n searched on grindr looking for his profile. a man of many talents months passed still hopeful to run into him and like always I was disappointed until one day I came across him and my heart dropped with fear, and pain. of course reaching out to him was the hardest thing I had to do. A million thoughts rushed through my head as I prepared to send him a message my palms sweating, heart bearing faster then I ever my stomach felt like it was ready to burst. i didn't know what to expect or if he remembers me. as I waited for his response I was pacing back n forth and suddenly I received a response I was nervous to open it. I immediately had negative thoughts in my head. we ended up meeting after all. once he was at my door I literally didn't know how to act I was glad, I missed him and was shocked he did feel the same. we had s*x and again it was so much more then just s*x I felt thing special feeling as I started to make love to him slowly back and forth hearing him moan and seeing his facial expression made me want him more. we shared some past experiences with our ex's and came to see we both had previously had similar bad relationships. we were lied to, cheated on , treated badly and were afraid of letting our guards down. he kept people at a distance as we did not let people close to us. We refused to admit that we hated being alone, sad, and stressed out. The hardest things that followed were a life's lesson we fell into feelings and we didn't know how to react. of course we tried to ignore it and focused on how different we are. Being total opposite was noticable I did and said things he would never I was as he would say "Ghetto" he was "a square" a good boy we didn't know how this would work out or if we would be able to understand each other. we started seeing more n more of each other talking laughing shoring things no one knew over time we realized we have a lot of things in common as favorite ice cream, foods,movies,music, feelings, past child hoods, we both have short fuses and bad attitudes and we grew together. we learned from each other made mistakes, yelled, disagreed, and gave each other the silent treatment. how could this be what I needed he was everything I wasn't. I looked for this along time and this whole time it was in my face all along. we get jealous without thinking about what the outcome may be. social media platforms is a easy and powerful to end a couples relationship according to research study. we have grown to love each other greatly we spend everyday together and our s*x life has increased drastically. Andrew and I are able to sit and talk about pros n cons. my life is filled with not so good choices I have made stealing, fighting , hurting ppl, smoking etc, he's not rejecting me instead he's still here willing to work it out and expressing his thoughts. (in my head I wanted to grab him and take him to the bed and u know where I am going) but I just froze and couldn't find words. he expressed he liked me from the start and was afraid of the reaction I would give him due to being so different. I promised him that I would treat him better and I would love him past his past pain. I would stand by his side, love him, protect him be his friend, lover , the one he can vent to , depend on, cry to , laugh with. I told him I am always here and I knew we were perfect. my mind was always in the gutter as we both know. I took everything we said and made it s****l. Yes I know. He definitely sees that in me and even though he loves me I have seen another side of him a funny, a man with many likes and don't like, I have seen him at his best and worse. he has seen my bad n good sides as every couple has I will continue to strive for excellence. I have seen me changing and doing things I would never consider. he's changing my life as days pass I see this glow in his face. his smile, dimples, eye color. I love him and he loves me I tried to reject it but I can't. does he actually love me? Is he faithful or unfaithful? would he like to me? was I crazy to think he was in love with me? I have been sure that I love him for him. I am not going anywhere papas we definitely are going to be married as times pass my hearts urs just don't break it as I will always remain true and hope u do too . As we continue to make memories as one faces challenges and become stronger we also encounter misunderstandings, arguing, miscommunication as it's completely normal. Relationships are not perfect and we can't expect to be as such. I get mad sad pissed for things he says does or jealous for things. he does the same towards me. Andrews is blunt and will definitely say what's bothering him I am more not expressing it we both seem to be our true self. Andrew aka Drew and I have a great thing and we are learning new things everyday. we share and relate trusting each other to overcome whatever challenges that stand before us. Did we move too fast? It's possible we have moved fast but who said it's wrong or right ! I know we happened for a reason a new life for Drew to be happy, loved , cared for and be seen smiling is the most amazing feeling I could ask for I will never stop loving u the way u should be. the heart knows when it's love. I am hard headed, obnoxious, loud, annoying, mysterious I finally found a love like no other Andrew you are EVERYTHING I AM NOT!!! you complete me as we become ONE. Choices and things we do are not what's best for me or best for you but actually what's best for us! When I think back about what I have done I have been through some things good and bad as so have Drew. I can't change nor do I regret my past I never thought someone would be able to change me. I am used to being in the dark, bottling up things till it explodes. Maintaining a mask that blocks out Emotions, love, kindness, positive thoughts,smiling is a protection tool I have used daily since I can remember everyone has a way they deal with pain,hurt, sorrow, heartache, depression, and anger. There's no right or wrong way to deal with it when it comes to the heart. The heart says one thing while our minds say otherwise. I made the choice to go with my mind and of course to my surprise I was not shocked when what I thought was a win turned out to be actually a big loss. I may never know what the reason I was so honest, faithful, and trusting. Judging a book by its cover is an issue that makes someone look bad. I see how much I tried to find a person in all the wrong places. Andrew is a soul of a different kind a unique background and not used to being around a life like mine. I have seen recent changes in me and wasn't sure if it was possible to accept them. I have a person who can see the side I have hidden from myself. A fragile ,gentle but stubborn with a successful that has been lighting up the path and we acknowledge both of us are different but we will never be perfect but we are perfect for each other. I have a sense of relief and I find myself going beyond what's expected. I am a man who has made good n bad decisions in life And I can admit it. Andrew has also made good n bad decisions in his life but has me feeling that different is not always bad.