This time I refuse to love my killer

When did forever stop feeling like a promise… and start feeling like a cage? Marriage is supposed to be beautiful. It is meant to be soft mornings, shared laughter in quiet kitchens, hands held across dinner tables, and a love that feels like safety. A place where two people build a home not just with walls, but with kindness. That was what I believed when she said yes. But my reality learned a different language. The ring on my finger stopped feeling like a promise and started feeling like a weight I couldn’t remove. I regretted it .I regretted the day I ever said yes to Kevin Hale . Every morning I stood in front of the mirror and became someone else. A brush of foundation. A careful sweep of concealer. Not for beauty, but for survival. Bruises didn’t belong in his world outside. Smiles did. So i painted one on like it was part of my skin, perfected it until even strangers believed my life was gentle. And it worked. They said I was lucky. They said I looked happy. But no camera ever captured what happened when the door closed. I married a monster ,one who battled with his mind ,one who couldn’t tell the difference between right and wrong. A billionaire’s son ,heir to his father’s company and loving son to his mother made me lose mine . “Where do you think you’re going ?” He yelled chasing after me as I ran down stairs trying not to get hit . And then I tripped ,but landed at the feet of the very person who should be my friend.Alexa Stone . She didn’t reach for me .She didn’t flinch .she just stood there …smiling. she wasn’t going to help me. She slept with him ,she slept with him on our matrimonial bed . “Well well well “ “Please Alexa ,Alexa please!” I pleaded but she held me in place ,just so Kevin could catch me and unfortunately he did . I stood at the mercy of my best and husband . Alexa pushed me down watching Kevin hit me .i glanced at the mirror once ,my face bruised .i didn’t recognize myself ,I didn’t know who this person was . My baby bump was already visible,he hit me again and I bled . I felt weak. My body couldn’t hold it in ,and I took one last look at the person I couldn’t recognize before I died . My eyes flickered open ,the Electrocardiogram was beeping ,my hands were dripped ,I was in a hospital gown .The light was too bright ,and before me was my mother . “Here are the papers ma’am”A nurse said as she walked in and handed some papers to my mother for her to sign .After the nurse had gone ,I felt my mother’s Palms brush my knuckles .Was I in heaven ? Because my mother had died 5years ago .Her smile melted my heart .I hadn’t seen that smile in a long time .”How’re you feeling Mel?” She asked me like she was waiting for me to respond.Was I supposed to ?My mouth was sealed shut but my eyes ,they watered ,the tears that trickled down my cheeks were out of control . It was only after she hugged me I realized I wasn’t dreaming. This wasn’t heaven .I was looking at my mom in the hospital . “She can go home now “The doctor said from behind smiling at me and my mom . I searched around the room ,my hands landed on my tummy ,there was nothing . “My baby “ my voice was broken and my words came out as whispers . “Mel what’s wrong ?” “What happened to my baby ?” “Baby?” My mother asked stunned . “What baby Mel …are you okay ?” The name Mel ,I hadn’t heard it in a while . I was still trying to wrap my head around what was happening. “Mom,what’s going on ?” “You hit your head honey but you’ll be fine now” I took a minute to process all this .My wedding ring was gone .My father walked in the room.Something was missing. It took me a second to understand what. He wasn’t limping. And somehow… that terrified me more than if he had been.He wasn’t using his crutch . .If this was some kind of dream ,I don’t ever want to wake up . We made our way outside and I saw my dad’s Toyota Camry XV40 .This car had crashed with my mom in it . “Dad how did you fix your car ?I asked . “Fix my car ?…Nothing was ever wrong with it honey “ “And your crutches ,you don’t need crutches “ “Are you sure you’re okay “ My mom asked . “Maybe we should go back to the hospital,seems she hit her head really bad “ “Where’s Kevin ?” “Who’s Kevin ?” My father asked . “Maybe we should really turn back “My mother said . But this wasn’t funny. I died because of physical abuse ,I did not hit my head on a drawer ,I hadn’t seen my mom in five years ,my dad used crutches ,this car didn’t exist anymore ,my wedding ring is gone and only when I looked in the rearview mirror did I realize I was blonde . I hadn’t been blonde since I was 18 I looked younger .” This isn’t right. Because if he all these things never happened … Then this isn’t after. This is before. And if this is before My fingers curled on my jeans gripping hard enough to ground myself . I didn’t survive it. I went I had been given a second chance to live ? I could change things. Walk away from every mistake before it ever found me . The thought hit like a crack through glass. Kevin Hale . If everything else had reset… then so had he. Still out there. Still breathing. Still waiting somewhere in a future I already knew too well .I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy .The pain in my chest ,was no longer there. If I was truly given a second chance to relive my life again ,and keep my parents safe and happy ,I have to avoid Kevin .The root of all my problems. The morning sun greeted my face as I stared at the sparkling rays of sun that turned dust to gold .My mom came in with breakfast.oh how I missed her breakfast in bed treats .”Hey Mel “ “Mummy “ I say as I hug her to tightly refusing to let go .I missed this . “Hurry up we have to visit your college today “ “NYU “ I muttered. Only one day till I meet the man that ruined my life and now I will do everything in my power to Avoid Kevin hale .My destroyer . My killer .My husband . The streets were noisy as usual ..you wouldn’t expect anything less from New York City …the city is always busy and there it was ,his family’s business logo ,his face was well sculpted on bill board ,I could see it ,I could see him ,the face of the man who ruined my life ,killed mother and crippled my father ,he might not have done these things intentionally but what mattered was that he did ,I ignored all the red flags because I was in love ,worst of all I was pregnant.My hands placed on my tummy and I turn to look at my mom . “Everything alright ?” “Yes mom ,I’m okay “ “You sure ,you nervous about NYU?” The only thing I was nervous about was bumping into the man that ruined me . “Mel …Mel?” “Sorry mom “ “Are you sure you’re okay ?” “Yes ,just a headache “ I could feel my head burning up ,if God gave me a second chance to live my life ,I have to undo every mistake I did .