Paris Blues

Rainy

I was in pain not physically but emotionally, psychologically or maybe even physically I didn't know anymore it was just an unbearable amount of pain. I had cried myself to exhaustion, Marie begged me to eat for my baby's sake but I couldn't keep anything down. It was the second day he had not come home, he was spending time with his wife for the remainder of the time that she was in France. He didn't even bother to call to see how I was doing. I laid in my bed as my body shook with sobs.

"This is not healthy for you or the baby". Marie said and I ignored her. My mind raced with thoughts about them, I wondered if he was making love to her at this moment, did he whisper sweet nothings to her as he did with me. The thought made me cry even more she may have been his wife but it didn't mean that I wasn't hurting like she was.

"Gracie he's not worth it. Why are you crying over some disgusting Nazi?". She said and I turned to look at her.

"Because I love him okay!. He's the father of my child and I love him so much". I finally admitted. I had been with him for over two years, I had seen him go from a mere soldier to a Sergeant, I had seen him kill a man with his bare hands. I knew him very well but I had never admitted my feelings towards him but I was carrying his baby and my feelings towards him were growing the thought of him with another woman shattered my heart.

"I didn't know I'm sorry Gracie". Marie said as she comforted me hugging my sobbing frame.

Later that day I was sitting on my bed reading a book and listening to music. Marie had finally managed to calm me down. I cleaned up and ate, my baby needed me to be strong especially since we didn't know what Hans was planning to do. I heard the front door open followed by footsteps. My heart rate increased as I got up and walked into the living area. He smiled at me when his eyes landed on me. I wobbled to him throwing myself at him feeling him hold me for a hug. I kissed him desperately as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I missed you so much". I cried.

"It was only two days". He said.

"I know but I still did. Are you hungry?. Do you want me to make you something?". I asked and he shook his head.

"No, I'm tired I want to sleep". He said pulling away from me and he walked into the bedroom.

"I could give you a back rub". I said walking towards him.

"And maybe it could lead to something else". I said running a hand down his chest. He grabbed my hand and put it down.

"I said I was tired". He said and I furrowed my brows at his cold demeanor. He took off his tie opening his top button and I gasped at the sight. I grabbed his neck seeing the hickey on it and I knew why he was tired.

"Did you.... did you... oh God". I cried not being able to finish the sentence.

"I don't need to explain myself to you". I said and I froze not knowing what to say or do. He had just shattered my heart.

"You promised that you wouldn't leave". I said watching him take off his clothes to change into his pajama

"Well I haven't left I'm here am I not?". He said putting on his pajama pants, he turned around to pick his pajama shirt and I saw the red marks on his back evidence of their lovemaking.

"You breaking my heart". I cried tears running down my face.

"I don't know what you want from me. I'm here for you and the baby what else do you want?". He asked putting on his pajama shirt and I could tell that he was annoyed.

"You had s*x with her". I sobbed.

"She's my wife". He answered getting into bed.

"Now its late come to bed. I'm too tired to be arguing". He said and I sat on the floor crying. He tossed and turned trying to fall asleep.

"Are you going to cry the entire night". He said.

"You had s*x with her". I cried again.

"She's my f*cking wife, what I do with her is none of your business. You knew the situation you were getting yourself into!". He shouted and I winced.

"Don't yell at me, I'm carrying your child". I sobbed.

"Stop acting like a child!". He screamed.

"Now are you going to quiet down or do I have to sleep in the hotel with my wife". He said and I felt my heartbreak. I got up to my feet after much effort and wobbled to the bed, climbing on and laying next to him. He turned around to look away from me and I silently cried myself to sleep that night.