I never relax once I get back to David’s apartment. I certainly try, but nothing is working.
I take a bath, have some wine, and watch a serial killer documentary. Usually, this little routine would have calmed me right down to the point of getting sleepy, but today, it is just making me more on edge.
I find myself hyper-focusing on the sound of Theo’s shoes as he walks through the apartment every half an hour. When he speaks on the phone, I try to pick out the words he’s saying, trying to work out if he is talking to David.
I think about what I can say once he gets back home. How much of the truth I am willing to share, and how I can word it so that I am not technically lying to him. But I never come up with a solid solution.
The afternoon quickly turns into the evening, the sky rapidl
