COMING HOME

 "Be a man!" Mr. Daniel said. "Act like a man", he kept saying as dad jerked, tossed and turned as he tried  to catch his breath. There I was again, standing at the door wondering what was going on. There I was again, unsure of whether to cry or laugh or walk away. It probably wasn't my scene to see but as I stood there glued to the image in front of me that will forever be in my memory I was...   It is said that boys do not mature quickly; at least not as girls do, I'm guessing they meant emotionally. Maybe that's why I couldn't feel anything. Maybe its why I could not understand what was happening as I watched my dad struggle as he tried to hold on to life. I don't remember if he breathed his last in that room; after that struggle or if he had had the opportunity to calm. I only remember seeing him struggle then, nothing else. I don't even know if my mom was there to watch dad in his last moments. I do hope that she wasn't. I was only five so it didn't hurt at all; I didn't even know what had happened...she would have been torn. Thinking back now; I wish I could feel like I did then...numb. That childish innocence and lack of understanding can be blissful. …    I can say that today is the best day of my life because I finally get to do what I've always wanted. Growing up in the barracks has left a major print on me. Also...maybe it is because dad was in the army, I hope I can step into his shoes and live the kind of life that he did...maybe not all of it but being in the army has always been my dream. I also hope mom will be proud of me. She really hasn't been the same since dad. I am so ready for the camp and trainings and I'm absolutely determined to stay strong no matter what rigorous activities I might have to face. Knowing I was selected among the top 50 to proceed to the camp after the initial exams, I feel like I could as well mount up on wings and take to the sky. I am a conqueror. …     Have you ever felt so dumb and unlucky and alone all at the same time? If you have then you'll probably understand how I felt when I found myself back at home from the camp. I couldn't have been surer of anything as I was of getting into the defense academy. It wasn't just a shattered dream, it felt like my whole life had come crashing down right in front of my eyes. I hoped and longed for dad to come to comfort me and tell me he was still proud of me and I was still a winner but he didn't. I was fourteen then so it hurt very much. … "Let's move", dad said. Everyone was already in the car and ready to move. On hearing dad's shout, I jumped out of bed and flung my blanket away. Searching through the clothes in the darkness, I managed to find a singlet, top and shorts. As soon as I got them on, I raced out to the car only for everyone to burst into laughter. I had no idea of what was happening till my sister pointed to my chest...looking down I realized I had worn a b*a. … Aisha, my sister is the only sibling I have and although we might not be the best of friends all the time, we do have our moments. I remember the time when... …