Meeting You

     I'm happy, I was happy, "I love you", I was loved, Nothing can hurt me, I've been abused, live, I wish to die, I'm fine, I need help, love me, hate me, laugh, I used to laugh, cry, I cry all the time, I'll make it, no I won't, I'm strong, I'm weak, I cared, I'm lifeless, save me, kill me, my thoughts, my dreams, bring me to life or forever bring me darkness. Either way nobody needs me.    Yet I feel the need to be useful and yet I am completely useless. These thoughts haunt my dreams and these dreams haunt my thoughts, but which of the two is more frightening. I think and see things no one else does, yet I have the urge to conceal these things. Sometimes I feel I have too much time to think and not feel, but thinking like that only brings disappointment or at least in my mind. A soft breeze blows over tickling the little hairs exposed from the holes in my jeans and my arms in my tank topped shirt.     I listen as the lake runs smoothly against the rocks and the big, even small little creatures prancing about. Oh what glorious sounds, but I can only enjoy my peace of lying in the grass, closing eyes, under the stars daydreaming for so long. With what peace I would have left I started to sing a song. "Once upon a midnight dreary~   I began to sing. A song~   For my time was short and weary~   The animals sang along~ But with what time do I fret   When for a moment it's said   That you cannot forget~   The midnight song~... In your head~"    I heard the animals chirp, screech, and howl in happiness to my, well as they called it, wondrous song. They begged me to play again, but with a heavy sigh I told them I had school tomorrow and there would be no time. With a sad pause all the animals of the woods dispersed continuing with their natural lives. I looked up at the sky and even I could tell it was close to midnight. I ran towards the house frantically hoping "he" hadn't come home yet. "Velvet!", I called.     I heard the huge flapping of wings and saw the glint of piercing velvet eyes reach from the darkness. Velvet landed on a post in front of my house and flapped in happiness. I pet her soft silky feathers and heard her do a little purr from the touch. "Raven, Raven", she called.   Yes? "Has "he" come yet?", she said concerned.   No my little Raven, "he" has not and thank god for it. I'll make sure to hide in my room before he does. "Very well! Very well! But do open the window so I may get in?"   Of course Velvet. "Yay, yay, but first I must hunt before the others take all the food. I shall tap 3 times", she cheered flying away.     That bird is something else, but that bird is all I have left. I sighed and walked inside my house locking the door so it didn't seem like I went out. I kicked off my shoes and ravaged the fridge for whatever leftovers were left. I headed inside my room locking the door behind me. I stood for a few moments remembering how my room used to be. The walls no longer smooth and fine, the wooden floors creak and are worn down, and my dresser looks 1,000 years old. The only thing that looked decent was my bed which I had to buy. My last one was literally falling apart. I reached for my acoustic guitar under my bed and started to strum a few tunes. Then I heard a tapping on my window and saw Velvet. I opened the window and she came in flapping like crazy "Raven! Raven!", she panicked.  What? "He's on his way! I saw it, I saw his car. He's almost here", she said.   Ok, thank you Velvet. "Much pleasure", she said landing on my dresser.     I closed the window and caught the glimpse of 2 head lights from a pickup truck pulling into the driveway. Ugh he came too fast. I told Velvet to quickly hide in my closet until I said otherwise. She got in and I jumped into bed pretending to have gone asleep. Soon enough I heard loud footsteps roaming through the room making me breath heavier as they got closer. Suddenly someone started banging and rattling the knob like crazy making me cringe in my bed. I already knew who it was. "You open this door!", he yelled.    I was so scared that I didn't want to move or get up. He kicked the door and I yelped frightened he would get in. "You got 3 seconds!!!"    I shot up out of bed unlocking and opening the door, but looked down trying not to make eyes contact. Quickly a huge hand abruptly pulled me out of my room and against the wall in the hallway. I looked up for a second just to have a hand slap me across the face. I yelped in pain. "How dare you eat the last bit of food!", he screamed slapping me again. "I'm sorry", I barely said out. "Sorry doesn't feed me now does it!", he yelled pushing me to the ground.   He grabbed my hair and pushed me to the wall letting my body quickly fall in fear of what else he'd do. "I'm going out to eat and I don't want to see your face for the rest of the night!", he yelled kicking me while I was on the ground.    I sat up painfully as he walked away taking his keys and slamming the door behind him as he walked out leaving to his car. I felt so weak that I couldn't get up, so I crawled back to my room. I managed to close the door and lock it again and opened the closet door to let Velvet out. She glided on top of my bed while I used all my strength to get on it. I turned on my only lamp light and could see how bruises were already starting to form, I even felt how my face was a little swollen. Warm tears started to stream down my face making my face sting as I blinked. I turned off the light and slid down in my bed wincing in pain. "Raven?", Velvet cried.   Yes? "I'm sorry, I could do nothing."   It's not your fault. I'll just hide the bruises and nobody will notice. "But you'll walk in pain".  I'll get used to it. I'll be fine, now sleep Velvet. "No, no, sing the song. The song you sing to me sometimes before you sleep. Her song Raven", she cheered.     Suddenly a flood of thoughts from the other animals came through. "Sing the song". "Oh yes please". "The song!" "Please sing for us".   Ok I'll sing the song. I cleared my throat and breathed in deeply. "Once upon a midnight   I stared across the moon~   And what do I see~ right next to me~   The girl named Raven Moon Her hair as black as night   Her eyes as bright as stars   And what do I see~ right next to me~   The girl named Raven Moon No sun is even brighter   No dream as quite as big   I'm blessed to even have had her   The girl named Raven Moon And once upon a midnight   She stared across the moon~   And saw a reflection   Right next to her tis true Oh, once upon a midnight   And what I see tis true~   Right next to me, I stared across the moon~   The night and shining stars, tis was Raven Moon~"     And with a final note I heard my little raven, Velvet sleeping and most of the animals lay at rest. Even ironically I could feel myself a little tired and my eyesight a little hazy. I slumped into my bed, upon a midnight moon.