Not Sober from Anything

The color the smell the pain and the feeling some how all collide to create a flavor of such intensity that I couldn’t resist anymore. The struggle to regain control after reality began to come into sight again was almost impossible. As i sat on the polished concrete steps of some random persons house i had ended up at because of my best friend dragging me there with the promise of a high that was unforgettable, i tried to remember how I had even ended up in the worst condition of my life. My family hated me, my boyfriend was toxic and i’m pretty sure my friends are toxic too. i knew it was all wrong all of it even down to the slutty clothes i was wearing. I just couldn’t stop and i didn’t know how to even find my way back to the person i was supposed to be. the person with so much potential. These conversations in my head happen often but i never stop. I say i’m gonna stop but i can’t. All i know is right now is i’m coming down off of this high and the high of him as well. i need a hit and him.