Everyone's Favorite Girl

The bunker smelled like hot metal and old fear. I had been standing at the door for twenty minutes. My feet hurt. My ears rang from the hum of the vents. Somewhere behind me, Bear was cursing at the vault lock. "Come on, you ugly thing," he muttered. "Open up." "Talking to it won't help, Sarge," I said. "Talking to it always helps, kid." "Does it?" "No." He grinned over his shoulder. His big beard was full of dust. "But it makes me feel better." I tried not to laugh. You don't laugh at a job. That was the first rule he ever taught me. But Bear made it hard. Mouse was sitting on a crate near the wall, chewing a granola bar. Mateo Diaz. Everyone called him Mouse because he was small and sneaky. He was also the funniest guy I knew. "Riley," he whispered. "Wanna bet how long until Bear punches the vault?" "Two minutes." "One." "Mouse, shut up," Bear said. He didn't turn around. Priya was kneeling by Danny, our wounded guy. She was pressing a bandage on his leg. Her hands were steady, but I could see her jaw was tight. She always got that look when she was scared. "You're doing great, Danny," she said softly. "Just breathe." "Tell Riley to stop looking at me like that," Danny groaned. "Like what?" I asked. "Like I'm already dead." "I'm not looking at you like that." "You are. You've got your worried face." "I don't have a worried face." "You have the worst worried face," Priya said, and she smiled at me without looking up. I felt something warm in my chest. These people were my family. I was eighteen. I was the youngest. I had no mom, no dad, no home. I had this team, and that was enough. Bear had found me when I was thirteen. I was hiding in a burned-out truck in a city nobody wanted. I was hungry and dirty and angry at the whole world. He didn't ask my name. He just sat down next to the truck and put a sandwich on the ground. "You can eat it or not," he said. "But I'm not leaving until you decide." I ate it. I never left. Now he was crouched at a metal vault door, sweating through his shirt. I loved him like a father. I would never say it out loud. He would've cried, and then he would've pretended he hadn't. "Almost got it," Bear said. "One more turn." Something clicked. A deep, heavy sound rolled through the room. "Yes!" Mouse jumped up. "Beautiful! You did it, Sarge!" "Told you," Bear said. The vault door swung open an inch. And then I heard it. A tiny sound. Metal on metal. It came from above us. I looked up. There was a vent in the ceiling. A little black shape was sliding out of it. "Bear," I said. "Yeah?" "Bear." "What is it, kid?" "BEAR!" The shape dropped. It hit the floor with a soft clunk. It rolled across the concrete and stopped at the vault's feet. It was round and gray. A red light blinked on top of it. Tick. Tick. Tick. Nobody moved. "Is that—" Mouse's voice cracked. "Is that what I think it is?" "Thermal detonator," Priya whispered. "It's a trap," Bear said. His face went white. "Someone knew we were coming." "Who would" "No time! Everybody out! Now!" "Danny can't walk!" Priya cried. "Then we carry him!" "We can't carry him and run!" Mouse shouted. "We've got maybe ten seconds!" "Then we run faster!" I stared at the little red light. I knew what it was. I had seen one go off once, from far away. It didn't make a loud boom. It made heat. White, burning heat that melted steel and anything near it. The door was thirty feet away. Seven people. One wounded. Ten seconds. I did the math in my head. I hated that I could. It didn't work. "Riley, the door!" Bear yelled. "Hold the door open! Move!" "Bear," I said. My voice sounded strange. Calm. Like someone else was talking. "We can't all make it." "Don't say that!" "We can't." "Shut up and run!" "Six can make it," I said. "If one of us stays." He froze. "No." "Bear" "No. Absolutely not. Don't you dare." "Count to three and go," I said. "I'll hold it." "That's not a plan, kid! That's a funeral!" "Then I'll be quick." My hands were shaking. I tried to stop them. I couldn't. I looked at Mouse. He was crying. He didn't even know it. "Riley, please," he whispered. "Please don't." "Mouse. Look at me." He looked at me. "You owe me ten dollars," I said. He let out a broken laugh. "I know." "Pay Priya instead." "Riley—" "Priya. Take Danny. Go." "I can't leave you," she said. Her whole face was wet. "I can't." "You can," I said. "You have to. He needs you." She shook her head. She was shaking all over. "Priya, please. I want you to be okay." She pressed her hand to her mouth. Then she nodded. I turned to Bear. He was standing very still. He was looking at me like I was thirteen again. Like I was the dirty kid in the burned truck. "Don't do this," he said. His voice broke. "Please, Riley. I'm begging you." "You gave me a sandwich once," I said. "What?" "A sandwich. In the truck. You said you wouldn't leave until I decided." "Riley." "I decided, Bear." Tick. Tick. "I'm staying," I said. "You go." "No." "Please." "I can't." "Bear. You can." His shoulders shook. He dragged his hand across his face. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me," he said. My chest tightened so hard I couldn't breathe. "Same," I whispered. "On three," he said. His voice was rough. "We go on three. And you come right behind us, you hear me? You come right behind." "Okay." "Promise me." I smiled. It was the worst lie I ever told. "I promise." "One," Bear said. I stepped toward the little gray ball. "Two." "Go," I said. "Three!" They ran. I heard their boots slam against the concrete. Mouse was still sobbing. Priya was shouting something I couldn't catch. Bear was dragging Danny with one arm. I didn't look back. I dropped to my knees. The detonator was warm. I could feel it through my gloves. The red light was blinking faster now. I thought about my mom. I barely remembered her face. Just a soft voice and the smell of laundry soap. I thought about Bear's terrible coffee. Mouse's dumb jokes. Priya braiding my hair before my first mission. I thought, this is a good way to go. I thought, I'm not ready. Both were true. I wrapped my whole body around the thing. I pressed my chest against it. I put my arms over it like I was hugging a scared kid. "It's okay," I whispered. I don't know who I was talking to. "It's okay. It's okay." Footsteps pounded behind me. Someone was running back. "RILEY!" Bear's voice tore through the room. "RILEY, GET UP!" "GO!" I screamed. His hands closed on my shoulders. He pulled hard. I kicked him. I kicked him as hard as I could, right in the chest. He flew backward and hit the floor. "I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I'm so sorry." "NO!" Mouse grabbed Bear's arm. Priya grabbed the other. They dragged him toward the exit. He was screaming my name over and over. I closed my eyes. The heat came first. It was white. It was everything. It wrapped around me like a blanket made of fire. I felt my skin tighten. I felt my breath burn. Somewhere far away, Mouse was screaming. And then there was nothing. No pain. No sound. Just quiet. I floated in it for a long time. Or maybe a second. I couldn't tell. I waited for a bright light. I waited for singing, or for someone to say my name. Nothing came. Then I smelled flowers. Sweet ones. Thick and heavy. Lilies. Something cool slid across my skin. Smooth. Soft. Like silk. My fingers curled. They felt thin. Small. Not mine. My eyes snapped open. A huge golden ceiling stretched above me. Painted angels looked down with fat pink faces. I sat up, gasping. The sheet fell away. I was in a giant bed. Alone. With no clothes on. My heart pounded against ribs I didn't recognize. I stared at my hands. Long, pale fingers. Painted red nails. No scars. No burns. A strange voice echoed in the room. "Finally awake?" Who just spoke?