The Ghost of Him

When I was 7 I remember not wanting friends. My mom always told me the only one in life I could count on was myself so why bother putting faith in anyone else? I'll never forget the day that big old moving truck followed by a Blue SUV pulled up to the house next door. it was the old Mackie house. a few years back he and his wife had both passed away and it had been empty since. It was nice having the quiet, but I guess good things don't always last. when the door of the backseat opened a little boy with dark brown almost black hair hopped out. He wore a blue and white striped tee tucked into a pair of jean overalls. His feet sporting a dirty pair of white converse. I remember asking my mom to buy me the same pair last year for Christmas but they said they were too expensive We weren't poor per say, but we didn't have alot of the nice things most kids my age had. we got by with a comfortable amount of the basics. My mom said that I should be grateful- and that some kids weren't as lucky as I was. I knew she was right, but that didn't mean I didn't wish for more. the kid that had gotten out of the SUV must have seen me because he was now walking across the yard headed directly for me. he stopped about 6 feet away before pulling out a small sized bakery box from behind his back and holding it out to me. "my momma said I should come and give these to you. she said to never come meet new friends empty handed" he grinned a toothy grin. I reached out and grabbed the box from him flipping the lid open and taking a wiff at the triple chocolate cookies inside. my favorite. "cool" I said casually grabbing a cookie and shoving it in my mouth. "honestly though, if you came over here looking to make a friend you are barking up the wrong tree. I don't need or want any" I said all while chewing and swallowing the cookie. I shoved the box back in his hands, and then turned to walk back towards my house. "wait!" he called out. "I have a Nintendo, and my mom just got me the new Zelda game" I stopped walking and then slowly turned to face him again. "okay.. is that some sort of brag?" I said crossing my arms over my chest while raising and eyebrow. "no, I just don't have anyone to play it with and I hear it was really good. I was wondering if you'd wanna play sometime" he said defensively but with a touch of sadness. I sighed. "fine, let's go. I guess I have nothing else better to do today" with that I flicked my hair over my shoulder and started walking towards his new house. "wait up! I don't even know your name" he called out jogging to catch up "I'm kalan" without slowing down I replied "breaya" --->-------------- Breaya - Present I sat on the picture window bench looking out at the night. the streets were quiet, with just the sounds of the hot summer. crickets and cicadas chirping and buzzing away. The moon was full and bright lighting up the houses on the street. I loved living in Eureka Falls. It was peaceful, but more importantly, It was far away from Augustus. The town I grew up in. The town where my best friend went missing. The town where the whispers never stopped, and nothing was ever let go. The town that almost broke me. I got up and walked through the living room grabbing my phone of the coffee table and then headed to bed. I walked into the room and turned to shut the door quietly behind me. suddenly the lamp clicked on. "hey babe, can't sleep again?" Jared cooed. "yeah, I'm fine though" I lied giving him a small smile. In truth the nightmares had been starting up again, and over the past week had started to become more frequent. Sleep didn't feel like a safe space anymore. I'd been seeing Jared since I graduated from my masters last year. He was great In every way a man should be. 'the perfect guy'. Things between us were good, but there was always this little voice in my head that nagged me. I should be happy. My therapist said that I have issues with letting people in and letting people care. she probably wasn't wrong about that. My Parents split when I was only 12. I honestly couldn't say why. Most of that time is fuzzy. They call it Dissociative amnesia. Basically my brain decided it was too much and blocked the whole traumatic event from my memory. I sat my phone down on the nightstand then leaned over and gave him a quick peck. "goodnight" I said laying down and snuggling into my pillow "I love you brea" he cooed soflty "yeah, you too" he clicked off his lamp and I lay there staring into the moonlight dancing on the wall wishing I might sleep tonight and that if I do, the nightmares don't come.