To you

I don't know when and how it was started. All I remembered is when my mom crouches while looked at me smiled so beautifully unlike the other days. Her cheeks looks more lively these days and the bruises started to fade as the time passed. She said we are going to see the people who will became our family from now on. My memory began to recalled the past. About how my dad treated us like we are nothing but pest. There is no day without cried and begged. Sounds of alcohol bottles shattered. Sounds of slaps and kicked. It was hell back then. My eyes began to teared up, I don't want it to be happened again. Is this family my mom talked about will treated us better? My mom seemed to understood by looking at my troubled expression. She smiled and stroked my patched cheek gently. "They're different." She said hoping that I will felt reassured. But still. There is still a heavy feeling somewhere inside me. Suddenly a husky voice came calling for my mom name made me jumped out a little. She patted my head few times before she stood up and hugged with the owner of that husky voice. He kissed my mom cheeks lovingly while holding her hands so gently like it was a diamond. They changed few talks and I saw the way he looked at my mom. He is indeed a good man I guess... They shared a few little kiss again before finally my mom turned her head to me, told me to move closer to them and I did. Then my mom introduced me to that man who I will call dad from now on. He has a manly looks just like how a normal adults looked like but his amber eyes felt so warm unlike the man I knew. He noticed how awkward I felt and let out a chuckle. I flinched because I thought I made a mistake and he immediately crouched down apologizing if he scared me. He indeed a good man. He turned his head on his back calling for a person. Is there another person there? But I don't saw anyone came with him earlier. A silhouette of a kid began to showed up in front of me. I was so shocked at how good looking he looked. He looked a bit older than me because he is taller. He has a black hair and amber eyes like 'dad'. Pointed nose, thin lips and his cheeks looked a bit chubby. My heart stirs. He greeted my mom and exchanged few talks with 'dad' before turned all of his attention to me. My cheeks felt heated. He walked closer to me then introduced himself politely as Axel Greyson. "So, you will be my little brother from now on?" He asked with a gentle smile at me. I don't know why and I don't understand either but those words stings my heart a bit. - - - - "--earth to Jesse!" An annoyed sounded voice waking me up from my reminisce. I looked at my best friend William McKenna who is munching his lunch. "For goddamn sake Jesse, eat your lunch before it gets cold. Stop daydreaming, eat your lunch so you can survive the whole periods." I chuckled. "Right, it's gonna be Mr. Joe Killer subject after this." I said then taking a bite of my food. William raised his eyebrow then move his face closer to me. "What were you thinking anyway? You're so deep in thoughts." "It was nothing." William rolled his eyes. "I don't believe you. Bet you're thinking about how to get laid on this golden ages." He said backing out his face then eat his food again. "Just eat your food Will. You're getting annoying." I said and he shrugged. The loud voices starting to fill the quite peaceful school canteen. The girls who sat around us begin to squealing, whispering to each other. I keep eating my lunch because these girls probably gossiping after looking at some hot dudes who just came. Literally not my business. "There he is, your famous big bro~" Said William while looking at some specific place. I looked up on him and slowly turned my head looking at where he was looking. Ahh... He is right. There is my big brother laughing handsomely with his friends as they entered the canteen. On his right arm, there is a beautiful blonde girl named Clara hanging like a glue. I shift my gaze abruptly from that view as I felt a sting on my heart. Axel Greyson. It's been 9 years since I first met him also 7 years since I discovered what's the meaning of this feeling I have towards him, my step brother. Axel who just entered the canteen, could easily find where I am sitting because of my unathletic figure. Despite of my age, my looks is so far from a normal high school boys. I have slender body figure with 5'4" heights, brown eyes and brunette hair. I'm the shortest guy in our school, yeah. Axel bid a goodbye with his friends and make a move to my direction. Clara who still hanging like a glue having quite a hard time at matching her steps with him but still not let go until they reached where I am sitting. "There you are Jess~ Oh! Will, what's up!" Axel's greeted while bro-fisted with William. "Nothings new bro. Take a seat." He replied. Axel sat besides me and Clara finally letting go of his arm. "What do you want to eat Axel? I will go take it for you." She said while tucking her hair behind her ears. "A bread is alright. Thank you Clara." She smiled and nodded before go. "You won't be full with just eating a bread, brother." I sounded worried but still not looking at him. Axel smiled. He folds his hands on the table and slightly lowered his head to look at my face. "Is my little brother worried?" He asked playfully. My face heated. "I'm not! Go take a decent food and eat that. Don't just eat bread." I replied finally looking at him. My heartbeat increase only by the looks of his handsome face. He chuckled and stroked my hair playfully. "You're the one who should eat a decent food and don't forget to drink milk- Oh wait, I will go to buy a milk for you." He said then stood up and go to the vending machine. My face getting redder with William's laughing voice filled our table. I stood up and smack William head quite hard make him wince on pain. "What the f**k bro~" "Shut up b***h. Why did you laughed?" I gritted my teeth. "Because it's funny?" He shrugged. I rolled my eyes and sit again. I don't know how but before I knew it, Axel already stood behind me and put a box of milk in front of me. I looked up and see him smiling, slowly lowered his gaze to look at my eyes. "Here's your milk." My heart skip a beat and immediately lowered my head. I hold the milk with both of my hands. "T-thank you." I said softly. Axel stroked my head. "Just grow up soon even though it's hard." He said make William choked on his food. I gritted my teeth and looked up again. "f**k you." He laughed. "Aww, that's so sweet of you little brother~" He said while moving to my side to take his seat. But before he did, one of his friend came. "Axeeelll, Mr. Claude is looking for you." Said Jake while putting his right hand on Axel's shoulder. "Oh! It's Jesse, our little bro~" He greeted me while stroked my hair playfully. I groaned. "Stop it Jake." "Oh~ I'm so scared." He said playfully. I rolled my eyes. "Alright alright." Axel said pushed Jake away from me then patted my head few times before he go. I looked at them and Jake immediately waving his hand to me make me roll my eyes again. I also noticed Clara who just bought the bread Axel requested did a little run to catch up with him and immediately hang on his arm again. I shift my gaze and touched my head, still feeling the warm of his hand. Even just a little act of him like this, it made me happy. "Are you done? Or you want to drink your milk first before we're going back to class?" Asked William waking me up from my daydream. I hold the milk Axel's bought gently. "I will just drink it later. Let's go back." I said then stood up from the chair. "Great. Because I need to copy your note from the last subject." William said smiling happily while stood up from his chair. I rolled my eyes. "Fine fine~" *** I walked out from my bathroom, already wearing my casual shirt and boxer while drying my wet hair with a towel. I sat on the edge on my bed and took my phone which is laying on my bed since I got back to check if there is some important message and it did. It was from my parents. Saying they will be late home. I let out a sigh. It will be the two of us home if he didn't going out with his friends. I looked out from the window on my room and notice how darken the sky has became. It will be rain soon... I put my phone on my bed again. The towel now hanging on my head as I looked out from the window. I do love rain but I also hate it. I love rain because somehow listening to it makes me calm and I hate it because it make me remember a memory about when I was 10 years old. It was raining quite heavily that time. Both Axel and I waited in front of the building of our school for our parents to picked us up. They're pretty late so we decided to watched the rain together. I remember I said something stupid back then. I said, the sky is crying out of nowhere and it made Axel laughed. I looked at him confused and he moved closer to me. He lifted his arm then stroked my head gently. He said, he won't let anyone make me cry like the sky and will always stayed by my side forever. My heart skip a beat and my face heated up. There is also a weird feeling inside my stomach like there is butterflies on it. It was really weird but I don't hate it. I asked him if he really meant it and he nodded his head. But the next thing he said made my heart sting and the heat from my face moved to my eyes. He said, "Of course I will. You're my little brother after all." I mumbled softly. I lay my body on my bed and looked up at the ceiling then sighed. The sounds of rain pouring and the clock tickling filled the emptiness in my room. I, then, moved my right hand and placed it to where my heart is. My eyes starting to feel hotter. "It's hurt..." I mumbled then grabbed my shirt. I thought, as the time passed, this kind of feeling will slowly disappear and I could love my step brother normally. But, as the time passed, the feeling I have for my step brother getting bigger and bigger. I can even felt that I'm starting to become greedy. "This is bad..." I said then moved my head slowly towards the window and looked outside. A sound of door closing outside my room awoken me, made me move my head towards it. I looked at my door for a brief second, remember it will be just the two of us here. I bit my lips, hoping that I won't do something obvious and make Axel hate me. If Axel hate me, I might just die because I couldn't bear it. I slowly getting up from my bed. I take a breath before finally walking outside my room. "Jesse?" I heard him called my name. I looked at him. "He got wet from raining." I mumbled softly. "Huh?" Axel looked at me confused. "Did you said something?" I shake my head and smiled. "Welcome home, brother." I said as I walk closer to him and took my towel from my head then stroked his wet hair gently with it. He bend his body down a bit. "Is mom and dad home already?" He asked. "No. They will be late." I replied as I'm done drying his hair and hang my towel on my arm. "I will cook us dinner so go take a bath before you catch a cold. I will call you when it's done." "Okay then. I'm not going out either because it's raining outside." He said as he touched his dampen hair. I laughed. "Oh brother, you're going to make me sad at this point." "Huh? Why?" He asked confused. I sighed dramatically. "Well, you only stay at home with me only on raining day." I whined. "Should I just get a girlfriend?" I asked silently waiting for his reaction. He stroked my hair playfully. "You should work on your height first, little brother. As far as I remembered, most girls on our school are higher than you." He smirked. My heart skip a beat looking at his expression. Deep inside I felt happy hearing those words. "f**k you." I said pretend to be annoyed. He laughed and patted my head. "Well, call for me if dinner is done~" He said then walked away going straight to his room. "Okayyy~" I said lazily as I watched his back. A clicked sound can be heard as his figure is nowhere to be seen. I'm still not moving an inch from where I'm standing as I looked at his closed door. I shift my gaze at my towel and slowly touched it. I gulped. I carefully hold my towel with my both hands and moved it closer to my face. My nostrils immediately catched Axel's scent on it. My face heated up. Looks like I've became a p*****t now. I keep inhaling the scent on my towel. I really like how Axel smells, it's musky and it's really nice. I pulled the towel off from my face then hug it. My face flustered because now, I could felt the throb down there. I covered my face with my right hand and bit my lips trying to calm myself. God, I love him so much... *** I looked at the dining table that now filled with two plates of steak with massed potato and salad. I looked a bit freshened since I damp my entire head on shower earlier before I cooked. I groaned at the memory. I keep looking at the dining table feeling there is something missing there. "Ah, the wine... " I mumbled and shift my gaze at the cupboard where my dad always put his precious wine. Just one bottle won't kill, right? I thought to myself. I then walked to the cupboard, taking out a bottle of wine and 2 glasses for us and walked back to the dining table to set everything up there. "Perfect." I said feeling satisfied. I turned my body and walked towards Axel room which is located right besides my room. "Brother, dinner is ready." I said while knocking his room. I waited a bit but there is no answer from him. I knocked again. "Brother." I called. Still no answer. I sighed. Then slowly opened the doorknob entering his room. The smell of his cologne filled my nostrils. His room looked so manly just like him. Black curtains, guitar on the side of his desk, basket ball, dumbbells and white bedsheets. I froze at the sight of him sleeping on his bed. The sounds of raining filled the room. I walked closer to the side where he slept and get on my knees to see his face. My heart starting to beat in abnormal pace like it almost burst. I really want to traces my finger on his face but I'm afraid it might wake him up so I ended up looking at his features. He is indeed so handsome... The sight of his lips make me froze. It looks so soft and wondering how does it feels against my lips. I keep looking on his lips didn't know how long has it been. The desires slowly took upon me. I want to feel his lips but how if he wake up? I move my face closer and carefully to his. I can feel his soft breathing against me. I don't usually pray but I really wished if the time can be stopped just for now. I guess, I can't be a good little brother like how I should be. "I'm sorry..." The sounds of rain, the clock tickling and my heartbeat filled my ears as I softly put my lips on his. ----- Tbc.