Secret crush

Chapter four - Harder than you think

Hunter's POV:

Jackson had the party for the first week of high school. My parents were home, but I didn't want to deal with it. Everyone from school got invited. I stayed only for two hours. I got bored. The trio tried to get my attention, but it didn't work. Part of me wished Ellie was there. I was sure she wouldn't come. I have never seen her at a party. I wonder what she does at home. After the party, I walked around the town. She was sitting in the park with her headphones. I think she has more activities to occupy her than I thought. It's not like I care that much. Since I stood up for her that day, my friends started asking me questions. I didn't do anything. Molly is causing drama every single day. Ellie didn't do anything to her. If I want to keep my friends, I should be away from everyone except for the trio. No one can tell me with who I should talk, but I want to have friends. I'm jealous of how Ellie can be so unbothered by all this. Maybe that is because she cares only about herself. She has goals and won't let anything or anyone stop her from achieving them. I would love to do the same as her, but it's not simple. I care about too many things. Mom thinks I'm too good to people. That is true, depending on the point of view she has. I hope that I won't lose my friends because of this.

I thought the last year of high school would be fun. Nothing of this is happening. It's like I'm having deja vu from the last one. Except for learning new things, nothing else is happening. I can make a change, but it will cost me a lot. I don't want to risk it. I'm trying to be nice to everyone, but it doesn't mean they will be my friends. That should be my last problem, but it's the first one. I should be more open to people. It's a bit harder than you think if you are in my situation.

I'm in my second class. This time, Jackson is with me. I can't stand Molly. I made someone else sit with her. Ellie was at the front as usual. She was in her world. Soon, I snapped back to reality. Nothing will happen. I have some questions to ask her. Sadly, I can't find the right moment. When I do that, it might be too late. After the class, I went to my locker. Clingy Molly came. Luckily, my friends were there. Ellie showed up as well. Molly commented on her. She didn't care. Ellie passed by her as if she was a street sign.

- I'll get it back from her. - Molly said

- Why do you care so much about what she is doing? She is not better than you.

- I can't stand her.

- Why? What did she do?

- People like her. I won't allow it.

- Not everyone will like you. That doesn't mean you have to ruin everyone's life.

- What I do is not your business. Since when do you care about her so much?

- I don't, but you are doing the same things as last year. Grow up.

- Did you talk with Nerdy Ellie? - Dean asked

- What? No. Why would I do that?

- Because you should like her.

- How do you know how she sounds? The one who has talked with her must be you.

- What? I never did it. Such people are below my level.

- Level of what?

- She doesn't think about anyone besides herself.

- Every person has goals.

- I want to enjoy my last year of high school, not think about university.

- There is nothing wrong with being prepared.

- Who are you?

- I'm sorry. I started thinking about myself. This year will end, and then what? I have no idea where I want to go.

- Why do you care? When the year ends, I'll decide. - Jackson said

- It'll be too late. I won't make one of the most important life decisions at the last minute.

- Buddy, are you ok? - Kevin asked

- I'm fine. - I said and looked at Ellie

- I'll never understand her. She is weird. - Stacy said

- Maybe the weird one is you. - I mumbled

- What?

- Nothing. I have to go to class.

- We still have time. - Rebecca said

- I don't want to be late. It's better if I don't annoy the teachers.

- You can sit with Ellie. - Molly said, laughing

- Why not? At least she is not as annoying as you.

- I'm not annoying. She is.

- Keep talking. I'm going away.

It was early, but I didn't care. These girls are driving me crazy. The other person in the room was Ellie. She was in the hall a minute ago. How did she come here so fast? It doesn't matter. Molly joked about me sitting with her, but it might not be a joke. I did it. Of course, I asked Ellie if she was ok with it. She looked at me, and I explained why I did it. I know what she thinks already. Sadly, I can't prove to her the opposite. On the lunch break, I went to find her. She was eating alone as usual. I feel bad for her.

- Hey, Ellie.

- Hey.

- Would you mind if I sit here?

- Is it because of the same reason you were with me in every class?

- No. Can I sit here?

- Yes, I guess.

- Thanks. How are you?

- I'm good. I'm interested that you asked.

- I'm trying to be nice to you. Is it that bad?

- No, no. Forget that I said something.

- It's ok. I'm not mad at you.

- Thanks. Why aren't you with them?

- The girls are annoying me. I don't know why they always invite them to join us.

- You can talk with your friends.

- I tried. They didn't want to listen.

- I don't know what to tell you.

- Nothing.

- You are always welcome here as long as you are here for me, not as an escape from them. I can't be a side option.

- You are not as bad as people think you are.

- Said from you means a lot.

- I have so many things to talk about with you. I can't find the right time.

- Why me?

- Because I think you are the only person who can help me.

- Me? Interesting.

- I'm not lying. You are the only person I know who has goals and knows what they'll do in the future.

She didn't say anything, but I saw the smile. I never said I would get close to her, but I might try. She is right about one thing. I shouldn't use her as a side option. Ellie is much more than that. That's why I sat with her in every class until the end of the school day. In the afternoon, I was at home. My friends called me out for dinner. This time, the trio didn't get invited. Finally, I can have some peace from them. These girls are driving me crazy.

- I'm surprised the trio is not here.

- You ditched us for Nerdy Ellie since we started inviting them. We had to do something. - Kevin said

- I don't want to be around them.

- If we stop taking them everywhere, will you cut off Nerdy Ellie?

- What?

- Come on, man. We know you were with her because of us. - Dean said

- That is not true. I was there because I wanted it.

- What?

- You can't be serious. Nerdy Ellie? Why? - Jackson asked

- Why not? She is not a terrible person.

- You can't be serious.

- Yeah, we talk about Nerdy Ellie. She doesn't do anything besides studying. - Kevin said

- I'm sure she does a lot more. - I said

- Have you asked her?

- No. I don't need to know everything about her.

- I don't know what she did to you.

- Nothing. I don't want to talk about her. She is not that important.

- Finally, you said it.

- Can we talk about something else?

- You didn't stay long at my party.

- I wasn't interested. It was a bit boring for me.

- Are you sure this is the reason?

- Yes. The same things from last year were repeated. Nothing new.

- He is right about this one. - Kevin said

- The food is good. I like it.

- We always pick the best places.

- At least you are good at this.

- Will you come out with us tomorrow? - Dean asked

- No, I can't. I have to do something at home.

Before I went home, I decided to walk around. Ellie was in the same park where I saw her a few days ago. She was wearing headphones. This time, I sat next to her. She didn't notice me. With closed eyes, it will be hard for her. I waited for some time. Later, I carefully removed her headphones. I thought she would be scared, but no. There was a smile on her face as if that was a relief. I wonder what she is doing here so late. I won't ask her about that. If she wants, she will tell me.

- What are you doing here so late? - Ellie asked

- I would ask you the same.

- But I was first.

- Fair enough. I was with my friends for dinner. This time, without the trio.

- Good for you. Then why are you here?

- I decided to go for a walk. I saw you here a few days ago.

- I come here often.

- Why so late?

- I do it only when my parents are not home.

- They go out so late?

- They have a night shift.

- Oh. That makes more sense.

- A few days a week, I'm at home alone.

- You probably like this.

- Sometimes. I like spending time with my parents.

- I never thought someone would say that.

- Why? Don't you love your parents?

- I do, but I prefer to be out with people my age.

- There is nothing wrong with being with your parents.

- Maybe. I won't do it.

- When you want to do that, it might be too late.

- What do you mean?

- Exactly what you are thinking about.

- I see you like listening to music a lot.

- It calms me down. It's like a noisy meditation.

- If you like it, there is nothing wrong with that.

- You have no idea how many other things I do. Studying takes me only around three hours. Later, I go out and have fun.

- Alone?

- Obviously. No one else can stand me.

- Maybe I can.

- What?

- I'm interested to see what you are doing outside of studying.

- I don't think you will like that. Why don't you stay with your friends?

- I do this every day. I won't deny something different.

- Be careful what you wish for. You might regret it later.

- I don't think so. Can I know what you are listening to?

- Sure. You can put them on.

I won't deny that her music taste is good. On her playlist, I found some songs that I like. Ellie is not a boring person. I don't know why everyone thinks this. The more I talk with her, the closer I am to losing my friends. I can't let this happen. She might accept me. It will look like I'm using her. I don't think I can deal with her. First, I need to know what I want. That is not an easy task. If my mom had been here, she would have told me to be around people who make me feel good. It looks simple, but it's not. Well, not when it comes to me. I hope that I won't disappoint anyone with my decisions.