Therapy Sessions

Do you know what it tastes like to sin? Have you ever felt someone else’s greed slip through your finger tips? Can you distinguish the look of death in someone’s eyes, right before the life is ripped from their body? Can you smell the blood stirring in their heart before it stops pumping? I have, I’ve tasted their sins and held their bloodied hearts in the palm of my hand. I’ve smiled in the face of death. ______December, 2015______ “What did you do?!” The female cried out, her body tensed, tears welled in her ocean eyes. She’d tasted both shock and fear, but never like this . Tyler stood before her, bloody, a lack of emotion in his eyes. She’d never seen him like this before. She’d never seen anyone like this before. It was as though he were in some sort of trance, he was in a way; almost unrecognizable and Anastasia could feel her heart drop into the pit of her stomach. “Tyler...” her voice came out half choked and almost non-existent, she was forgetting how to breathe, how to function. “What did you do?!” It was a sobbed out, full blown shout now. But she was well already of his actions. It was obvious, by the blood that stained his shirt and hands, by the murder weapon on the floor several feet behind him, by the coldest of stares she'd ever seen. And just like that, the trance was broken. He blinked several times before daring to take a step closer to her, two, and then three. He struggled to find the right words to explain the situation to her but ultimately decided to be brutally honest. His heartless persona was back and he was giving into the facade. “It was me. Or him.” He spoke the words so coldly, so monotone. Partly because he wanted her to go, leave him and forget about him, he was dangerous and no longer knew just what he was capable of. But in all fairness, his father had had a long history of being abusive and if anyone had it coming, it was him. She didn’t budge. Part of that outraged him, he wanted her gone. For her own good. This was a side of him that even he didn't recognize, he was a stranger to himself at this point, lost in his own head. He sucked the blood from his finger, an attempt to disgust her or scare her into wanting to leave. Maybe if she believed he was so far gone, she'd abandon him. Maybe he really was so far gone. But the brunette was to stubborn, she knew better, or maybe she just didn't know enough. The world had been a cold, cruel place to her and the only person who had shown her remorse or care or solace was Tyler, she refused to believe he would harm her. Refused to be afraid of him. Despite her initial reaction, she was finding an inner calmness, part of her understood him. She understood the pain of an abusive father. Though her father was mentally abusive, not physically. She understood the gnawing of pure hatred for another human being, the lust to see their down fall. But she had never dreamed of acting on it, of stripping away a life, of being a murderer. "W-" she hesitated. "Where is he?" she finally mustered up enough courage to work the words out of her mouth. Tyler gestured to lounge across the way, and reluctantly, the fifteen year old made her way over in that direction. She could feel her stomach turn, her breathing hitch in the back of her throat at the sight of the dead body. This was the first time she’d seen a corpse. His face was contorted in obvious uneasiness, his lifeless body sprawled out across the floor. There was a pool of deep crimson that had formed around him and stained the carpet. Blood was still oozing from his torso, she watched the metallic glisten along his chest, his stomach, his neck. How many times had Tyler stabbed him? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? The culprit made his way behind her and leaned himself against the wall, his arm folded across his chest. He gave a deep sigh. What a f*****g mess. There was no undoing this one. Glancing over at him, Ana shook her head slightly and dared to close the space between them. Her arms draped around him, hugging his body tightly against her own, smaller frame. He was all she knew of love and she'd ensure she was the same for him. "Let's get this cleaned up, you can tell me about it later." she murmured quietly. It was in that moment, Tyler had realized that she was in fact the missing half to make him whole. They were a match made in hell and she had just made clear that she was here to stay. For better or for worse.