Night with Sole Regret

TAKE ME XXII

Amanda didn’t know why she’d felt so uncomfortable when Adam had recognized her. Sure, he’d undoubtedly figured out why she was at Jacob’s house borrowing his shirt, but they were both single, consenting adults. It wasn’t any of Adam’s business what they did in the semi-privacy of Jacob’s breakfast nook. It hadn’t bothered her nearly as much when Gabe had shown up the night before. Why not? She froze, her hands tangled up in hair and shampoo. Probably because she’d been so lost in a haze of lust that she hadn’t been thinking clearly.

She scrubbed at her scalp. Eyes closed, she rinsed her hair beneath the steamy water.

She needed to go home and collect her scattered thoughts. Something about Jacob sent her logic on a short flight to nowhere-land.

When he stepped into the shower behind her, her senses boarded the plane. She turned so that the spray hit her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on tiptoes to press her breasts against his chest.

“Everything okay with Adam?” she asked.

“One conversation can’t solve years of conflict,” he said. His hands slid over her back, and he drew her closer. “But it’s a start.”

“He wouldn’t tell Tina that I was here, would he?”

“Nah. He can’t stand her. That’s why he refused to be the best man at our wedding. Said I was making the biggest mistake of my life.”

“In hindsight, do you agree?”

“Nope. I have no regrets there. If I hadn’t married Tina, I wouldn’t have Julie. And she’s my heart.”

Amanda kissed the center of his chest, right on the proud nose of his lion tattoo. “Way to dissolve me into a puddle of mush, Silverton,” she said.

“I also might have never met you.”

She grinned at him. “Are you trying to earn extra credit with words instead of actions?”

“Actually, I was hoping to finish what we started in the kitchen.” His hands slid down over her butt, and he tugged her closer.

“I have one issue with that.”

“What’s that?” He lowered his head to nibble on her ear, and she almost forgot her teasing remark.

“There’s no table in here,” she said breathlessly.

“No, but there’s a perfectly good wall.”

It turned out walls weren’t quite as much fun as swings, but detachable shower heads made for an enjoyable experience. s*x was fun with Jacob, and she didn’t need more than a good time at the moment.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Amanda, and maybe you’ll start believing it.

While he was in her arms, she was going to let herself enjoy being with him. She’d sort out any developing feelings later—he didn’t need to hear about them. The man felt guilty enough for having s*x with her in the first place.

Plus she wanted him to remember their time together as a blessing, not a burden. She could hide how she felt, keep him believing that she only wanted s*x. There was no reason to complicate things with talk of relationships and the future. Neither of them wanted that—too many people would get hurt if they ever tried to be together in a serious capacity.

Amanda kept talking to herself, convincing herself that she was right, because her thoughts were the only obstacle keeping her from revealing her heart.

By the time she was sexually satiated and dressed in the clothes she found in the dryer—she’d nixed pulling on her dirty panties, so she was a bit light on the bottom end—it was time for him to meet the bus and go back on tour.

She wasn’t sure what to say. Should she say anything? Not goodbye. That was too final. She sat alone in the living room while he packed his overnight bag in the bedroom. Dare she ask him out the following weekend? She knew he’d be in town. She also clearly remembered his reaction to Gabe when he’d spilled those particular beans.

He won’t want to see you again, fool. Don’t set yourself up for that kind of heartache.

So, no, she wouldn’t ask to see him again. She wouldn’t put him on the spot. She would keep her word and not try to make something out of their one night together. It had just been an amazing night—and morning—of casual s*x, and this would be the end of it.

When Jacob entered the living room, he dropped his bag on the floor and stood in the doorway. He was wearing his sunglasses again, so she couldn’t be sure, but he seemed uncomfortable that she was there.

“I guess I’ll be going,” she said, rising to her feet. “I won’t have to go to the gym for a month after that workout.”

He smiled tersely.

She should have gone while he was packing. She collected her purse from the end table where she’d placed it the night before and walked past him with a stiff spine and an aching heart.

“Amanda?” he said.

Her heart lurched, and she stopped in the middle of the foyer. Please ask to see me again. Please.

“Good to see you.”

Her hopes plummeted. “Yeah.”

She opened the door just as a Jeep sped by the end of the front walk, hopped the curb with two wheels and stopped just in front of Amanda’s car. The driver, Owen, blared on the horn.

Amanda hurried to her car. She could feel Owen’s eyes on her as she prayed for invisibility and climbed behind the wheel. He’d blocked her in with his haphazard parking job, so she sat staring at the dashboard, trying not to watch Jacob stride confidently down the walk to Owen’s Jeep. She could barely hear his words through the closed windows.

“I should have called and let you know I found my car,” Jacob said. “It slipped my mind.”

Owen said something she couldn’t hear. Cranking the key, but not starting her knock-ridden engine, she lowered the passenger side window slightly.

“I’ll still ride with you since you’re already here,” Jacob said. He dropped his bag into the open back of the Jeep and then opened the door to climb in the vehicle. He didn’t look in her direction. This really was the end of their time together.

Amanda watched Owen’s Jeep pull away. Her heart sank to the middle of her belly. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected from Jacob. She’d known he wasn’t interested in anything substantial, and she wasn’t either. So why did it hurt so bad to think that all she’d ever have with him was a single night? Why was she paralyzed by the ache in her heart?

Pull it together, Amanda. This isn’t the first time you haven’t gotten the guy you wanted. It won’t be the last.

She took a deep breath and started her car. Before she could put it in drive, Owen’s tail lights brightened, the passenger door flew open and then Jacob was out of the car and jogging toward her. Her heart skipped a beat. He’d probably just forgotten to tell her something, but she couldn’t help but hope.

He paused outside her door and tapped on the glass. She fumbled with the button that lowered her window. She looked up at him expectantly.

“Just so you know, I really am stupid,” he said and before she could protest, he leaned into her open window and kissed her.

What? What did he mean? She lost her train of thought as he deepened the kiss and her body melted.

Jacob.

He tugged his mouth from hers and stared down into her eyes. At least she thought he was staring into her eyes. He was hiding behind his damned sunglasses again.

“I have Julie next weekend,” he said. “I thought she might like to go to the zoo. What do you think?”

“Um…” So he’d dashed out of the car to ask her if Julie would like to go to the zoo? Not exactly what she’d hoped for, but she smiled for Julie’s sake because she cherished that little girl more than her own life and she knew Julie would love to spend the day at the zoo with her father. “She’d love that. She really likes animals and is always full of questions.”

He smiled. “Which I’d never be able to answer. Will you come with us?”

The air rushed out of Amanda’s lungs. “Um… I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with her.”

“Nah, you’d be helping me out. You’re into animals and stuff, right, biology teacher?”

“Are you sure this isn’t an excuse to see me again?” she asked.

“You really can’t take a hint, can you?”

Hint? “I don’t know what you mean.”

He leaned his forearms on the doorframe and gently stroked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s really stupid of me to do this, but I just couldn’t stand the thought of not spending more time with you. Even though I know staying apart is for the best, I don’t give a damn.”

She smiled, her chest ready to explode from the joy blossoming in her heart. “I don’t think you’re stupid at all, Jacob Silverton. I think the smartest thing you’ve ever done is get out of that Jeep and kiss me.”

He grinned. “So you’ll join us?”

“I’d love to. I always have a great time with Julie at the zoo.”

“And with me?”

She grinned. “Yeah, I guess you’re all right.”

“We don’t have to have s*x,” he said.

“Uh, but we could. If the mood strikes us.” She was going to start training to increase her stamina immediately. So much for getting out of a month’s worth of workouts.

He laughed and kissed her again. “I have to go.”

This time when Amanda watched the Jeep drive off with Jacob Silverton inside, she had a smile on her face and hope in her heart. She just had to ensure her sister never found out that she was seeing Jacob, even on a cursory level. The man didn’t need another reason for his ex-wife to hate him.