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1096 Words
I feel very tired right now. Something I should be used to by now.I’m sorry for everything I said to you. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. I’m sorry for making you cry. I never intended doing so… I guess it was just easier to take it out on you. I guess I took you for granted, I thought you'd always be by my side. I guess all of it was a lie. I wish I could do something about it.
In the darkness of tonight, I guess I’m still lying. I’m just always lying, right now I just want to cry. I wish I could sing, for everyone tonight, all of them who are in need. All of them who can’t get it out. I’m sorry for not turning back, sorry I can’t change the past. For everything I’m sorry, I wish I didn’t have to be. I know it’s too late to state it now, but I wish you could hear me out.All I want to say is sorry, I wish I could be sorry, for everything I am.
Tonight, I feel like I could be lying to you again, I feel like it could be the same again. I wish I didn’t have these thoughts. I can’t help thinking of you. I can’t help but cry for you, I guess I didn’t deserve you. I guess I should be sorry for wasting your time. But everything feels so tough right now, why do I feel it’s hard to beath now, I wish words would come easily. I feel lonely again.
Perhaps I yearn for the time where we were together all the time, that time I could easily smile, a time where all was well. I guess I had to let you go, I guess you permit me to feel so calm that I scared me, I’m sorry. Perhaps I still wait for a sign. I’m sorry I don’t know what love feels like, I guess I’m still not good for this life. Why am I so shy? There is so much I want to say, but nothing seems to come out right: I’m sorry, don’t worry, I love you, don’t neglect me… I still cry for nothing at night. I wish I could close my eyes and take off those chains that make me feel so uncomfortable around everyone. I wish everything would come back to what it was formerly. I feel like I don’t exist anymore.
I feel very tired right now. Something I should be used to by now. I’m sorry for everything I said to you. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. I’m sorry for making you cry. I never intended doing so… I guess it was just easier to take it out on you. I guess I took you for granted, I thought you'd always be by my side. I guess all of it was a lie. I wish I could do something about it.
I’m sorry for being me. I’m sorry. I consider all the things I could have implied, all the things I could have done, all those things that are now past events. I think of all the things I could have said, all the things I could have done, all those things that are now past events. Why do I see all of these memories so clearly? I feel like I’m plunging into darkness. I still punish myself with all of those memories. I’m sorry, for lying, I’m sorry for permitting you to believe in me. I’m sorry for letting you go, sorry for letting you drown. I guess my tears are justified now. I hope you like my distress now, I guess I deserve it now. Even if it’s too late already.
It’s complex to look at your eyes, hard to see you around, it makes my heart race, makes my imagination go wild. I don’t want to feel that way, I don’t want to feel at all. Too many emotions come to me, I’m not ready for this.I’m sorry. My tears won’t stop falling. I don’t like feeling this way. I tend to hate the thing we shaped, I just can’t forget your smile. Why are you torturing me like this?
I feel very tired right now. Something I should be used to by now. I’m apologetic for everything I demonstrated to you. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. I’m apologetic for making you cry. I never intended doing so… I guess it was just more effortless to take it out on you. I guess I believed you for granted, I thought you’ll inevitably be by my side. I guess all of it was a lie. I wish I could do something about it.
I’ll just wait for the sun tonight, waiting for my nightmares to pass, I guess I can still feel evil for tonight. Feeling the warmth of the shame one more time tonight. I’ll cling to our time together, the way you were laughing with your arms around me. I guess I can still regret today…
I’ll regret your warmth for tonight, hugging a pillow instead of your arms, I still can take it for today.I’ll still treasure those memories for today. I’ll regret our memories for tonight, laugh and cry again as if I was looking at a sappy movie all the way again. I’ll regret my words and gored all again. I will be longing for your kiss for some more hours again…
I can’t erase the past, even if I try to. I’ll regret the past, and our time together, I miss the way your lips looked when you looked over at me. I’m selfish like that, I’m distressed. But for tonight, I’ll be missing you all over again, and get over it tomorrow.
- Writer
