Andiola

Dear Diary The whispers were there again. I don't know if they think I cant hear them i and I don't know if they forgot that I was also a werewolf just like them. But the whispers were there. This has been my life since I was born being hidden by my brothers and people whispering trying to get a look at my face. I am not a beast and I am surely not there to be on display. I've never once thought I was ugly with my ever-so-loving brothers and family there's no way I could ever think so. I am aware of how sheltered I am and I can only wish to be free and experience the world as my brothers could. I am lonely yes I do have my family and countless maids but they will never compare to what a friend is. And the things they can give me can never compare to the freedom I wish I had. I am not as sick as my family well mostly my brothers make it out too I am healthy I just can't run for long or very far and stress isn't too good on my body. But that in my opinion isn't a reason to keep me locked up. And that's why tomorrow morning I am going to speak my mind and I am going to fight with all my might and I am going to get my deserved and long-awaited freedom. And maybe ill be able to talk to him the boy who has caught my eye the boy who I longed to call mine. I've never seen his face or even come close but one thing for sure is they sure smell great. Amazing even and I can't wait to get a closer look. The first time I saw him well maybe not saw but smelled I know for a fact that he's my mate. But I dint want to tell my brothers cause I can't be too sure of what they would do if they found out about my mate. And I am 18 as of 2 months ago I think I can handle my mate on my own. I want to get to know him and to learn to love him on my own and away from my brother's watchful eyes. I know for a fact they would take all control and make all decisions but he is my mate and I am his. This is a delicate and intimate matter I don't need my brothers involved. I am ready to grow and accept the responsibilities that come with growth and I am ready to go through any obstacle to get my mate. I am capable I am aware of all I can do. I am ready to face all the responsibilities that have been hidden from me. But on a real note, I am scared and the anxiety is eating up at me but I am tired of saying yes it's time I say NO and do something for me not for the family not for my father, mother, or my brothers but for me. I am tired of writing these long speeches every time I am angry instead of letting them know that I've been angered. I'm tired of saying YES I am tired of the fact that I've got a bunch of cute clothes that I am not allowed to wear even though I am 18 ( That one was way personal) And I am tired of imagining having friends when I know well a fact that I can have one. Or some or even many hell I might as well try to befriend the whole world Tho I do have to say thank you Diary thank you for being my company during these years thank you for giving me comfort, dreams, aspirations, And a closer look inside. Without you, I would have never discovered the person I am today better yet I would have never known how strong I was from the beginning. I am ready to face these whispers alone for the first time in my life I am ready to be loud be proud and most of all catch a man. I've been dreaming about picnic dates and ice cream dates or slow nights on the couch with my future partner. I even imagined the dirty parts of a relationship to the nights when they would touch me slowly. And when they would find magical places in and on my body I that never knew existed. For them to treat me to a whole new world. For them to love me in ways that are almost too animalistic too raw too rough and too hot. Only for them to cool me down and bring me back down to earth with their love but only in the most devilish ways. Revolution Today is the day I take control of my life and learn to live on my own I am going to step up to my Brothers and I am going to go through with it no matter what. I can feel my wolf stir in my mind also full of determination. Today is the day we talk to our mate. My brothers don't need to know that part tho all they need to know is that this young lady is ready to take on the world and that I mean go to class by myself with no bodyguards and actually be able to talk to people and build a life. My maids Mia and Miya have helped start the day by helping me get ready. I saw the looks they gave each other once they saw what I had picked out to wear. Clearly thinking I would never be able to step out like this but today is my day. I am gonna wear this skirt and the cute long sleeve crewneck shirt that I paired with it. And my boots were so cute with butterflies on the side. They helped me with my hair and I've decided to wear them up and show my face a little more. Today is the say see me and not the hidden gem that I am supposed to be according to my brothers. I thank the ladies and then make my way downstairs after a big deep breath cause lord knows I was gonna need it. On my way down the stairs, I greeted every employee I met on my way to the dining room. And the looks on their faces were truly a sight to see. But that wasn't gonna stop me now I'm far too deep now I am at least 3 feet away from the dining room and I am sure almost all of the servants have seen me now. going back would be not only embarrassing but humiliated and what would they think of me now. I stood just in front of the dining room entrance trying to will myself into the room. When the sound of a plate crashing on the floor shook me and forced me in and that's when it happened. My mom from the other entrance the one coming from the kitchen had seen me and was shocked enough to let the plates filled with bacon fall to the ground. Alerting everyone my dad quickly rushed to his mate to see what was wrong and that's when he saw me. My dad was shocked now that's a sight to see now as the pack alpha my father was never surprised he was always ready but looking at my dad now it seems he never expected this. And so my brothers turned around and it only took them one glance and 2 more minutes in shock for them to voice their opinions. "NO" was all that was heard in the dead silent room and it came from my brothers. "NO" I repeated I had expected this but the actual audacity " How about YES," I said looking at my brothers straight in the eyer. Oh, s**t WAS ABOUT TO GO DOWN I was ready to do just about anything today to show them how much I am not accepting the running of my lives anymore. Plus the skirt wants even that short it didn't touch my knees no but it was just hanging over it. My father's mouth had dropped lower than it was before while looking back and forth between my brothers and me. And that's when my mother finally spoke up. Stepping over the bacon ever so elegantly she said: " You look lovely my baby" as I look up at my mother I was greeted with a smile. With a smile, I returned "Thank you mother are you alright" I asked I as walked closer to her. My mother smiled and nodded taking my hand and leading me towards the table past my brothers with their jaws clenched. I knew mother would understand she sat me down and sat next to me fixing me a plate looking deep in thought. I thanked my mother and started eating ignoring my brothers and their glares. " Darling why don't you tell me why you chose to dress differently today" My mother softly questioned. My father had moved himself to his seat and was intently listening. And that's when I took a deep breath and told my family how I felt in a little speech I had prepared in my head. telling why I felt lonely and why I wanted to take charge of my life from now on and experience things that only normal people could. It's time for Me to try out my wings and test the waters a bit not completely leaving the nest but seeing how well I like it out there.