Crystal blue: fight for Avrolon

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I sat outside in the garden beneath an apple tree,the moon shone brightly ,the breeze blew calmly and my tear flowed freely,I had been there for hours.

Armani?

I heard his familiar voice call what was supposed to be my name,I buried my face in my palm and tried to stifle the whimpering sounds I was making.

Armani. He said softly.

"Just go away Kalain.......or whatever ,I'm in no mood to converse with a random voice in my head". I cried.

'I promise you'll be safe in Avrolon'. He said.

"Don't you get it?,I don't want to go to Avrolon,I don't want to leave this place!". I cried, the hurt welled up within had began to overflow.

A bird that had been perched on a branch above my head got startled by my sudden out burst and flew away quickly, it wings flapping noisily as it flew away, I could hear crickets chirping in the distance,the night was getting cold but I had no intention of going inside,I felt suffocated.

'You have to ,Armani you're unwell and unstable, you need help'. He said calmly.

Easy for everyone to just tell me to leave everything behind.

"You don't know that! I'm fine". I said.

Of course if I was unwell I'd know, it was my body after all.

'No,you don't know that'.

Unable to hold back the emotions spiraling out of control I gave up, I let painful sobs choke me ,I clamped my hand over my mouth to at least stiffle the sobs.

'I promise you,if there's the slightest chance that you may return here I will see to it that you come back,but for now you have to leave'.

"And if there isn't a chance of coming back?". I asked.

He remained quiet.

I knew the answer and it hurt.

"I'm such mess , who knew this is what I'd become?". I said and laughed bitterly. "A complete mess".

'You're not a mess'. He said quietly.

"I'm talking to a voice in my head,I thought I could make peace with it but I just can't". I said as I wiped at a tear drop that slid down my cheek. "I'm a complete and utter mess,I've lost it".

In truth I think I had lost it for sometime now.

'You're not talking to just a voice,you're talking to me'.

"I don't know you,for all I know I may be crazy, I want to see you". I said,I couldn't keep the pain out of my voice. "Please". I added.

He remained quiet,not that he wasn't there,I could pick up fragments of his thoughts and memories, all I saw at that moment was a woman,tall and fair,black hair cascading down her back like a flowing waterfall of raven black silk ,slim but well curved ,I could see her beautiful grey eyes and how warmth glistened in them, her smile and how she stood majestically,her silver dress dragged on the floor behind her, long wide sleeves covered her hands,and on her head sat a thin crown that suited her perfectly, I tried to concentrate and focus but suddenly all was black,like he had shut me out.

"Who's she?". I asked.

I knew he knew what I was talking about, after all he was in my head.

'My mother,Queen Silvana'. He said.

"You shut me out". I said.

'For your own good'.

"I'm sick and tired of people doing crazy things and telling me its for my own good ,its killing me". I said,my tears broke free again.

'Trust me Armani ,what you'll see will only cause you pain,I don't want to hurt you in anyway' .

"Can I be hurt more than I already am? Can I feel more pain than I feel right now?". I said.

'Yes, you can be hurt more than you already are, you can feel so much pain that'll make you crave death, life only gets tougher from here,I won't lie to you ,I've seen things,horrible things,they're all in my head, how can I let you see them when even I wish to forget them?

I wiped my tears slowly and took a deep breath.

"I want to see you". I said again.

'And you will,with time'.

"When?". I asked.

'Sooner than you expect'.

I remained quiet,I didn't know what to say to him,I had nothing more to say.

'You should go inside and get some sleep,its late'. He said softly.

Like I had been compelled I felt my body pull away from the tree and somehow I was on my feet, I found myseld walking into the house with no complain at all.

It hadn't been my intention to listen to anything he said but I found myself pulling the covers over myself and switching off the lamp.

'Good night princess'. I heard his voice say,it sounded so far away,I could barely focus on his voice,my mind seemed to have shut down.

Or was in the process of shutting down at the very least.

'Don't leave me ,they'll come back and haunt my dreams, they always do'.

My head was fuzzy but I had to tell him.

They won't, I promise.

And with that I drifted into peaceful slumber.

~~~

The rest of the week had passed like a blur and Saturday had arrived all too quickly,I had decided that I wasn't going to the beach ,not until I had a real reason to go ,I couldn't bare the pain of knowing I'd leave everything tomorrow, I couldn't have fun with my friends today and then disappear from their lives tomorrow, I couldn't just couldn't do that to us all.

Mum and dad had tried to convince me but I had made up my mind.

My phone rang and I was shocked to see the caller was Carter, I answered reluctantly, I would miss our little banters,I never knew leaving everything would hurt so much.

"You coming to the beach?". He asked once I answered.

I shrugged.

"Not really,why?". I said.

He made some noise,I couldn't tell what he was doing.

"You should come,I was looking forward to seeing you". He said.

My heartbeats picked up speed at once.

He was looking forward to seeing me.

"Don't let me get in the way of the doctor's orders, you should stay if you truly do not wanna come". He said.

"No!". I said quickly, may too quickly.

"No?". He asked.

"I mean yes ,I'll be there". I said.

"The others left already ,thought you weren't coming,want me to pick you up?". He said.

A small smile crept up my face,I couldn't help it.

"Sure,I'll just get ready". I said.

"Great,see you in ten". He said.

Before I could say anything else he hung up, I didn't mind,I stood up and hurried to my closet to get ready,I didn't get why I was this excited, I mean it was just Carter after all.

At least that's what I told myself.

I didn't plan to swim so I just pulled on a blue skinny jeans and a gray hoodie, the beaches in forks weren't like those in LA, they got real cold.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail and brought the hood over my head,I slipped on a pair of matching grey sneakers and headed downstairs.

Mum and dad were sat in the living room, they seemed deep in a discussion I wanted no part in ,they turned to look at me when I walked down.

"You going out honey?". Dad asked.

I nodded.

"I'm going to the beach". I said.

They smiled brightly.

"Take care then". Mum said.

"Alright". I said.

"Want me to drop you off?". Dad asked.

I shook my head. "Zain's picking me up". I said.

Their lips formed an O but that was it, they said nothing more regarding the topic.

"He should be here anytime soon". I said.

It wasn't long before the sound of a car honking blared, he was here.

Great!

"Bye". I said and headed out at once.

"Love you darling,have fun". Mum called after me.

"You too". I muttered.

I pushed the door open and walked outside to meet Zain , he had a black convertible Mercedes parked in the driveway, he pushed the door open and stepped out dressed casually ,just like me actually, a pair of black sneakers, a blue ripped jeans and a black hoodie.

"Grey". He said as I walked to him. "Not swimming?". He asked taking In my outfit.

I shook my head.

"Not really,you too I see". I said.

"Not in the mood ,you look better than the last time I saw you". He said.

I smirked.

"Is that a compliment?". I said.

"Consider it one ,don't I get one as well?". He said and smirking.

I rolled my eyes.

"In your wildest dreams". I said.

He smiled a heart wrenching smile.

"Then I should go to sleep now". He said.

I rolled my eyes again.

"Shall we ,princess?". He said and gestured to the car.

"Again with the princess thing?". I scoffed.

"Get use to it Grey,you ain't gonna be hearing a lot of 'Crystals' from me". He said.

Again,I rolled my eyes.

"Let's just go". I said.

~~

The drive was quick and mostly quiet,not awkwardly silent ,just a content and comfortable silence, we had talked about random stuffs ,we laughed ,he was actually nice ,just that once in a while his attitude kicked in,it was sad to think I'd never see him again.

"You know". He began saying once we were out of the car and walking towards the others. "Crazy as this all might seem, its memorable". He said referring to the students on the beach.

"Yeah". I said as I smiled and nodded.

It was indeed memorable, especially when this may be the last time I'd be seeing it.

Some students were running around playing stupidly ,others were in the water ,I don't know what gave them so much guts, the fact that ice was creeping to the edges of the water should have been enough to keep them out but they didn't seem to mind ,others lounged on the sand lazily, no one needed sun shades ,creams ,or umbrellas, after all,this was forks ,some took the opportunity to have a full blown make-out session regardless of the watching eyes,not that anybody cared,at least that's what I thought till we got closer and I realized that one of our make out session couple was Paige and Tyler,I couldn't for a moment believe my eyes,I accept that I wasn't really into Tyler any more but he had no right to do that, to think that I had planned to make the most of this day with all my friends.

"Crystal!". I heard Joanna's voice and footsteps approaching.

I still couldn't tear my gaze from Tyler and Paige, Zain must have noticed I had stopped walking and he did the same and followed my gaze to Tyler and Paige, the image of them had become blurry due to the tears welling up in my eyes,Katelyn and Joanna hurried to me and hugged me happily.

"You came!". Katelyn said.

I blinked and my tears broke free.

How could he?

My lack of enthusiasm caused Joanna and Katelyn to let go of me and step aside.

"What wrong?". Katelyn said.

When I didn't say anything they turned to Zain.

"What happened to her?".

He inclined his head gesturing towards our beloved couple of the year,their faces dropped as they caught sight of them,I wasn't ready for a confrontation or a pity party so I said "excuse me for a moment,I'll just take a walk".

My voice was thick with emotion,I couldn't keep the pain out,before they could try and stop me I walked away quickly and quite aimlessly, tears slid down my cheeks freely.

I couldnt wrap my head around how Tyler could be such a jerk ,true that I hadn't been around lately but at least he could have had the decency to break up with me officially.

It took me a while to realize that I had left everyone behind and was in a completely isolated part of the beach,it was cold out here and fog was thick in the air,I felt weary and sick,I couldn't begin to walk back now,if I did it would be to push Tyler and Paige into the water,I fell to the sand lazily and buried my face in my palms, everything seemed so wrong,I still couldn't believe I was leaving tomorrow, everything hurt so much,when had I become like this??

"Armani". I heard kalain's voice calling out,it got closer and it took me a while to realize that it wasn't in my head,I wasn't thinking straight, I felt him pull me off the ground and into strong and weloming arms, a hug.

"Its alright". He said soothingly.

"Kalain" Was all I could say.

He stroke my hair gently and I was glad I had a shoulder to cry on,I cried with no restraint, my fingers clutched onto his sleeves tightly.

"You okay?". He said.

"You're here". I said.

"Yes,yes I am".

I couldn't believe it,but for some reason it felt like he had been here all along,since my head was fuzzy I couldn't think at all,I tried to pull away so I could see him but he didn't let go.

I shut my eyes tightly and tried to control my sobs.

"Its alright princess". He said softly.