Intersex

Chapter 6.

It took over two weeks for the results to reach me. The envelope came in the mail, all old school, and I lazily picked it up and ripped it open. Jayden had been bugging me about the results for the last week so the first thing I did was look at the paper, satisfied that I got to k ow before he did. If I wanted to I could keep my results from him, that would only anger him though. I took a picture of the paper and sent Jayden a text saying "I'm clean" and nothing else. His only response was "good"

Kennedy had come back to our classes again but he wouldn't even look at me. I felt betrayed and I wanted things to go back to normal. Things weren't even normal at home. I found myself distancing myself from Brian. I didn't eat with him anymore. I couldn't figure it out but I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted the world to disappear and vanish around me. I wanted the world to melt away into nothing.

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I woke up to a loud thump and a painful ache that shot through my head. My surroundings went silent.

"Micah..?" Mrs Taraha asked. Her voice was startled. I didn't move. I just kept my head still on the table and let the pain linger by my forehead. I felt nauseous and achy. Literally. Everywhere. "Micah!" She called and I felt a small hand land on the back of my head. Mrs Taraha tried to move some of my hair away from my eyes as I faced the table and she bent down to try and look at me.

"What day is it?" I blurted out. My throat felt thick and uncomfortably tight.

"Uh..." Mrs Taraha began. "I believe it is October 10th..." She said.

"No..." I giggled sleepily. "Isn't it September?" I raised my head and looked up at her concerned face with a sleepy smile. Last time I checked it was September 9th. I couldn't have read an entire month wrong. "That can't be right..." I mumbled and rubbed my eyes before looking down at my phone. The screen lit up as I flipped my phone over and the text I found sent sharp nauseated dizziness through my head. My body crashed. System fail. Virus detected.

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"Yeah he's got insomnia..." a familiar voice stated. My head felt heavy and the pillow underneath me was painfully uncomfortable. Fingers were being pulled through my hair. Familiar fingers. My eyes flickered open.

"Brian..." I whimpered.

"I'm here, kid..." he said and smiled at me. My head was in his lap, no matter the "pillow" was uncomfortable.

"Welcome back..." The voice turned something inside me and my stomach flipped.

"Kennedy..." I whispered. It didn't take long until both of us were embraced in a tight hug on the floor of the nurse's private resting room. I sat on his lap as I pressed my face against his shoulder. The tears were soaking his shirt. "I'm sorry..." I whimpered.

"Where have you been?!" He stuttered and squeezed my waist tightly. "Your mind has been somewhere completely different for the last month, do you know how worried I was?!"

"I'm sorry!" I cried out.

"Okay that's enough..." a third voice muttered. "I'm telling my stepmom that you're awake and ready to leave so just leave already..."

My head snapped in the direction of the voice. His curly, black hair had fallen over his forehead, hiding his grey eyes.

Why was he here? Even if his stepmom was the nurse, why was he here? I felt my throat tighten as I held back my tears. I had been pretty clear when I told him that I hated him so why was he standing there as if we were friends or something? He was a mistake. He was my mistake and I was his mistake. A mistake I couldn't take back.

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I woke up the next morning to Brian's hand gently stroking my cheek. I wasn't sure what day it was. I knew that apparently it was October 12th but I wasn't sure what day of the week it was. Brian's hand stroke the hair out of my face and I groaned. My neck hurt, I must've slept on it funny.

"Okay... Get up..." Brian chuckled and pulled my arms. I was not about to make it easy for him though. I relaxed my body, flopped my head back and let my body become as heavy as it could be. Brian groaned and tugged my limp body out of the bed. My butt hit the floor with a thump but I couldn't care less. As Brian let go of my arms I gently placed them on the floor to create a pillow before I gracefully placed my head on them. "Are you serious right now?" He groaned and took a step back. "Fine, you big baby... you leave me no choice..."

"Wha-" He grabbed my ankle and pulled me out of the room, dragging me over the floor while I tried to jerk my foot out of his stronghold. "Brian, I can't believe you're doing this to me!" I moaned. "I was actually sleeping, you know..."

"Congratulations!" He chuckled. "But you need to eat and get your skinny butt to class!" Brian mumbled and turned to face me, sneering. All I gave him in return was a displeased pout. My shirt was slowly rolling up over my torso as I was dragged over our apartment. My pyjama pants were sliding down to my knees and I was getting cold.

"I'm ready to walk..." I mumbled.

Standing up; heavy dizziness struck me and I glared at Brian, non verbally scolding him for dragging me out of bed. I threw the cabinet open and grabbed a large glass that I filled with water. While I slowly gulped the water down Brian cracked two eggs in the frying pan and started stirring them around. I felt nauseous as I looked at the mess in the pan. It really didn't look appetising. I threw a slice of bread in the toaster and left the kitchen; refusing to allow the toaster to scare me.

While Brian cooked breakfast I retreated into my cold room to change out of my pyjamas. An annoying headache bugged me for the entire time and the nauseating dizziness was slowly nibbling away at my patience. My bed looked far too welcoming for me to resist and my body felt heavy and exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to snuggle into the blankets and drift away again. Unfortunately, I had Brian guarding me and if he as much caught me with my eyes closed I'd probably get a long speech about responsibilities and studying.

I was honestly pissed that he woke me up when I finally got some sleep but I felt too sick to do anything about it. The lack of food wasn't doing anything near nice to me. I pulled the charger out of my phone and pulled it up to my face. The screen lit up and I glared at the background picture. It was of me and my best friend holding a big pride flag. We were ridiculously tan and my hair had been coloured purple at the time. My best friend, Hannah, was studying all the way across the country and I hadn't seen her in over a year. She was busy nowadays. The last time I saw her was when she got "the surgery" and even then we had only spent a few hours of the day together. I missed her. Suddenly a notification popped up on the screen, surprising me as I stared at Hannah's picture. I glanced at the notification and was just about to swipe it away when my eyes caught the text.

"Your menstrual cycle has passed day 50, don't forget to report your period so that we can calculate your accurate cycle!"

My stomach flipped as I stared at the text. Had it been that long? It didn't seem right. It couldn't have been that long. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat but was met with resistance as my eyes welled up with tears. It had to be the stress. The stress and my lack of sleep and nourishment. I pulled my menstrual app up and counted the days. According to my cycle, I was almost three weeks late. I swore to myself as a tear slid down my cheek.

"Hey! Micah!" Brian called. I looked up from my phone and wiped my tears quickly as I could. I could hear him walking toward my room. Just like I expected, his head peeked through the door and he leaned half his body to the side, putting the weight on the arm he had placed on the doorframe. "Breakfast..." He said and gave me a gentle smile. For some reason, I wanted to punch him, very, very hard.

I walked into the kitchen and was met with the stench of whatever junk Brian had just thrown together. I placed my hand over my nose and mouth as I dry heaved and felt myself gagging on the air. My nose scrunched up and I frowned.

"What the f**k have you made?!" I groaned.

Brian started at me in confusion and put a plate of scrambled eggs and toast on the kitchen counter. "Eggs..?" He asked, confused.

"Are they old or something?!" I yelped as another gagging reflex forced me to bend over, clenching my stomach.

"No..?" Brian mumbled. "Micah..? Are you okay?"

The wave of nausea was getting worse with every second to the point where I had to stumble out of the kitchen and into the bathroom. I draped myself over the toilet, clenching its sides as I took deep breaths into the hollow space. Every time I felt as if I was about to throw up nothing came out. I just sat on the floor, mouth open, panting and gagging on the air.

"f**k!" I screamed into the toilet bowl as I felt the tears streaming down my eyes. They hit the water in the toilet, creating small circles where they landed. My cries echoed around me.

"Micah, what's wrong?!" Brian panted as he came rushing into the bathroom.

I hadn't had time to lock the door and the shame immediately washed over me. He stayed silent as he saw me crying by the toilet. I turned my face to him, finally revealing the tears and spit that was hanging from my lip as I breathed heavily through clenched teeth.

"How late are you?" He stuttered. I felt the goosebumps crawl over my skin all the way up to my cheeks and another wave of nausea hit me. This time I actually threw up, causing Brian to run up to me, pulling my hair out of my forehead. The sweat was dripping and the tears were running. I clenched my stomach as the acid within it gushed out of me. It stung my throat, burned.

When I felt done I sat back and leaned on the wall. I wiped my mouth with a piece of toilet paper and threw it into the vomit filled bowl before I flushed.

We were quiet. Brian started at the wall while I stared at the floor. The only sounds were my cries and sobs. I sniffled, constantly wiping away the stubborn tears. My stomach growled loudly, causing Brian to stand up and lift me. I didn't want to stand up, but I let him pull me to my feet anyway. Jayden's face flashed before my eyes and an itching rage built up within me. I felt betrayed by my body. I felt betrayed by Jayden and I felt betrayed by myself. I silently scolded myself for sleeping with him, for letting him put a blindfold over my eyes so that I couldn't see if he wore a condom or not. I thought of the pill I had taken to get rid of my mistake and I thought of how guilty the pill made me feel. Guilty enough that my body forced it out of me.

"Stop clawing at your stomach!" Brian hissed and grabbed my wrist. I hadn't realised that I had been doing it but there were long red marks over the skin below my belly button, some of which were bleeding a little.

"I..." I stuttered. "I'm sorry..." I whimpered and put a hand over my mouth. Brian was still clenching onto my wrist and didn't seem to want to let go. Brian bent down, still holding my wrist hard and pulled my shirt up to see the scratches. He placed a hand on my stomach, right above the marks. His touch sent incredibly uncomfortable goosebumps through my body. "STOP!" I cried out. "Don't... don't touch there..." I stuttered.

"I... I'm sorry..." Brian whispered and slowly let go of my wrist. "Can I clean the scratches?" He asked and looked up at me. I wanted to say no but they were stinging and I didn't feel like going all day with a burning sensation over my skin. I nodded to Brian and he got up to go get the small first aid kit we kept in the bathroom.

When Brian was out of the room I slowly placed my hand on my stomach and bit my lip. "Don't you f*****g dare..." I hissed quietly. I raised my hand and clenched it into a tight fist. Building up the strength I took a deep breath before swinging my fist against my stomach as hard as I possibly could.