The Subtle Way of Letting Go

Chapter 1

“Andi! What the heck is taking you so long? We’re gonna be late. Hurry up you slow poke.”

“Oh, for goodness sake, did you forget I’m a girl?” I rolled my eyes at him as I went down the stairs. I was wearing a black turtle neck paired with high waisted shorts and sneakers. I just let my hair down. My hair was kinda wavy at the end. I’m a Morena type of girl and was 5 foot 6 inches tall. I have my backpack strapped on my left shoulder and I carried the books needed for today’s class as I went down.

I wasn’t able to hide my amusement as I saw him so irritated. This has been our everyday routine. He was wearing a his regular to-go outfit. Pants paired with white a shirt and rubber shoes. He was about 6-foot-tall and was tan skinned. His jaws were perfectly shaped and has these very expressive eyes. Most girls at school find him attractive and he doesn’t even know it.

That annoying jerk right there is my friend. Ethan James Santos, 20 years old, 4th year BS Accountancy. Dean’s Lister. We both study at the same university. I’m Andi Loiuse Buendia, 19 years old, 3rd year, Taking up Business Ad major in Management. Also, a deans Lister. I wouldn’t want myself to be behind him.

We have been friends for more than a decade. He was 9 and I was 8 when they moved to our village. It was so easy to be friends with him because he’s this kind of person that won’t stop bugging you unless you give in and be his friend. He did not stop until I talked to him. I don’t usually converse with anyone not unless it’s really important. I don’t like to interact with others that much that’s why I think he’s the only one I can consider as my friend.

He would always go to our house and ask my mom where I was. He has no siblings that’s why he was really trying hard to persuade me to be friends with him. I would always ignore him but that did not make him stop. I am not the type of person who socializes or knows how to socialize, let’s put it that way. I was more of a non-talker kind of kid. I liked to stay at home, locking myself in my room just reading books. But he was so persistent and he just wouldn’t give up.

I remembered he used to bring his books to our house after he found out I was such a bookworm. He would request his parents to buy him books, since they’re kind of rich, and we would read it together just so he can have something to talk about with me. He really did put an effort to get through the walls I have built for myself.

As time passed by, I didn’t notice that I became comfortable with his presence. I got used to him always bugging me every day. I got used to the fact that I really have someone who is persistent enough to enter my life. We became so comfortable with each other. I became his rest when everything tires him out. He became my safe haven and I was his escape. We do almost everything together.

It has become a habit of ours to go to school together as much as possible. Luck seemed to be on our side because we almost have the same schedule for this semester. It’s like an unspoken rule between us.

“You’re such a slow poke. You know I have to drop by the library. I don’t think I still have time to do that since we’re going to be late.” He keeps on whining as we were walking. Our university is just a 5-minute walk from our village.

“Oh, for goodness sake, how many times do I have to say sorry. I had a lot of lessons I reviewed last night. I have three quizzes today.”

He just looked at me and I wasn’t able to hide a laugh. His face can’t be painted. He was just so annoyed at the moment.

We arrived at school and went to our respective buildings. The day went by so fast I hardly even noticed. I was so drained. My god! I just want to go home and sleep and wake the day after. I texted him.

[You done? Are we going home?]

[No. You go ahead. Jill’s asking me to accompany her.]

That familiar feeling is creeping inside of me while reading his reply.

[are you courting her?]

[Can’t talk right now. Ill message you later. We gotta go.]

I could never get used to this feeling. It gives a different kind of pain every time. Like every time’s the first time. I thought I got numb already. Yes! Whatever you’re thinking is right. Typical cliché where friends fall for their friends. I have been in love with Ethan for as long as I can remember. Does he know? Of course not. I’m not that dumb not to know that he likes somebody else. I can’t risk losing what we have now.

I was walking mindlessly and can’t stop thinking of what happened. I need to get a hold of myself. I shook my head and redirected my attention to something else.

“Mom, I’m home. I’m gonna go upstairs I wanna sleep. This day is just so tiring.”

“You go ahead and take a rest. I’ll just wake you up when dinner’s ready.”

I immediately went to my room, washed myself and went to bed. My body wants to go rest but my mind seems to fly somewhere else. I ended up staring at the ceiling and thinking of what they could possibly be doing.

“Go ahead Andi! t*****e yourself more. You’re supposed to be used to this by now.” Until I felt a tear dropped.

“When will you all dry out? You’ve been falling out of my eyes since god knows when.” I was rumbling to myself while wiping my tears. Urghh! I think I just needs to sleep this out.

It took me quite some time before finally falling asleep. I didn’t know how long I slept but I suddenly woke up when I heard a knock on my door.

“Andi, Baby wake up. It’s dinner time and Ethan’s waiting for you downstairs.”

My body suddenly reacted upon hearing his name. I immediately stood up and hurriedly washed my face. I went down and saw him sitting on the couch.

“Hey! I wanted to talk to you about something. You go ahead and eat first.” Ethan suddenly told me.

“Okay. But why don’t you join us.”

“I already ate dinner before going here. Go on. I’ll just wait for you here.” He said.

“Okay.”

I quickly ate. I was really curious of what we’re going to talk about because he seemed so serious. After I finished eating,

I invited him to talk outside. I don’t know but I suddenly felt nervous and I think I’m gonna need fresh air.

“I need your help.” He suddenly said as we sat down the bench at the garden.

“What kind of help? What do I get in return? You know nothing’s free in this world.” I joked. I felt the seriousness of his voice and I wanted to lighten up the mood.

“You just won’t do anything without getting something in return, do you?” He said while laughing a little. “okay fine. I’ll buy you anything you want or treat you anywhere you like if you help me.”

“What is it really? Where do you need my help?”

“I need your expertise. I need your point of view because you’re a girl. I need you to tell me the things that girls usually like. You know like flowers and stuff.”

I held my breath. I had an idea what he’s gonna say next. My heart was pounding so hard. I felt like throwing up. I was so nervous and scared of what he’s gonna say. I felt the urge of running away. I don’t want to hear it. Please. Please let it be not what I was thinking.

“Help me court Jill.”