Kiss Me Forever

Nothing was ever easy, there were no more fun and games when it came to how I operated and ran my life now. I had to be hard as rock and as cold as ice thanks to my ex-husband, Henderson Burke. My parents had moved us from our family home in Chicago, Illinois and relocated us to the country life hell in Wyoming. To say, even as a teenager I was thoroughly unimpressed with them, this new place and my current situation. Some things never really change. Especially my dislike of my current situation. I was doing the exact same thing my parents did but for millions of different reasons. My divorce was hard enough. Henderson Burke was a well known business executive in Wyoming. He knew and was known by everyone, so when it finally came time to leave his manipulating, lying, cheating, emotional abusive ass. I was the bad guy, the evil gold-digging w***e. See, I didn’t have a choice but to leave. Henderson denounced the children during the divorce finalization. He claimed they were bastards, and they were in no way his flesh and blood. Therefore, they were nothing to him or his family. My family stayed quiet, they didn't want any part of this drama I brought upon them and basically cut all ties of communication off with me. I was alone, I had mouths to feed and now, I had a mission. I was determined beyond any shadow of any doubt that I would never let another man walk into my life. I would never fall in love, or let my emotions get the better of me again. Henderson destroyed the faith I had in the male gender long ago. As I drove my children back to where I considered home to be, a million thoughts raced through my head. Yes, because he denounced the children in the courtroom, I was awarded sole custody of them. That much was true. Henderson made sure I suffered through it. He had made off like a bandit, so to speak; no child support, no alimony and there was no prenup in place. Let’s just say that he had the judge in his pocket when it came to our hearings. My mind had become a dark place, and I had wondered, well, more like doubted myself when it came to uprooting my four and six-year-old lives. Carter and Anastin had already been through so much, seen so much. I knew, deep in my heart, that this was the right choice. There was nothing but sadness and heartbreak left for us in Wyoming. I had nothing anymore, not even my reputation. But, I knew that those days were coming to an end. The light at the end of the proverbial tunnel was shining bright, and I could finally see glimpses of it. I used to be a well known real estate agent. I was charming and was always told I could see ice in a penguin. Over the last three years, as my marriage declined, I became less social, more withdrawn. This was probably a good first indication that I should have jumped ship then. It just wasn’t who I was, it wasn't in my DNA. Carter was on his iPad and Anastin was fast asleep in her booster seat. The beat-up black hatchback I owned prior to meeting the devil himself. I despised Henderson and everything and everyone who still thought and acted like he was Mister Perfect. Slamming my hands down on the steering wheel, I snapped my head up, looking up into my rear-view mirror to make sure my children didn’t see that temporary outburst of me still healing from everything that had just gone down. Plastering back on the phony, fake smile that seemed to permanently be on my face now. I returned to staring down the open stretch of highway. There were no cars in sight , nothing but the scenery flashing by as I pushed my hatchback as hard and as fast as I legally could go before it was classified as speeding. The faster I drove, the more distance I put between me and my past. The quicker my children were safe again. That was the goal right now. We had our destination, and thankfully, the people back in Chicago actually gave a f**k about me and weren’t scared nor affected by yet the reach and bribery of Henderson Burke. We were probably an hour and a half from our destination when Anastin began to stir in the back seat. The little sound she makes when she is just waking up and stretching out for the first time is the most adorable thing I have ever heard. Looking back up in my rear-view, I see Anastin smile as she blinks and rubs her eyes before rotating her head around to try and figure out where we were. “Morning princess, did you have a good sleep?” I said over my shoulder as I went back to concentrating on the road. “Yes mama,” Anastin replied. She was trying to be strong, but the court battle really damaged her internally. “We will be at Aunty Gia’s house in an hour or so.” I announced, looking quickly down at my GPS. My best friend since elementary school, Gianna Lucian, had stuck by me through everything. She hated Henderson with a passion since the day she met him and ever since then I think she’s been preparing for the day, the day she gets to host the celebration of me being free from his clutches for good. I loved Gianna and her family like they were my own flesh and blood. Right now, they were the closest thing to a loving family that the kids and I had had. “Mom, my leg is falling asleep.” Carter said after pausing, whatever he was doing on the iPad and dropping his headphones, down from his ears to around his neck. Looking down at my gas gauge, I figured I could pull over at the next gas station to top up while the kids stretched and used the washrooms there. We still had a fair way to go, still, I didn’t want to make any more stops than I absolutely had to. “I’ll pull into the gas station at the next exit Carter, sit tight buddy ok?” I responded to his initial statement. Speeding up just a bit, I changed lanes and prepared to leave the highway and hit this quick rest stop. After finding the run-down gas station, I filled up while Carter and Anastin both used the washrooms and stretched their legs. This had been a long journey so far, and in reality, it wasn’t about to get any shorter for us. Not for a long time anyway. We had too much to heal from, too much we had gone through and there weren’t enough minutes in the day to go into the dumpster fire. That is my self-esteem. Piling back into the car, and pulling away from the gas station, I managed to navigate back onto the highway. We were about six hours from our destination and while the fatigue was beginning to set in, I just wanted to get to Gianna’s house. The place we could retreat to, and once again feel safe.