Don't lose it

Sighed. This is it. I zipped my final luggage. I glanced at mom and dad who were watching me scan my room one last time, this won’t probably be the last time of course, but technically I won’t be spending much of my whole life here like I did before. “Come on, don’t be such a cry baby” I uttered while walking towards them motioning for a hug. “Promise me, you’ll always call me okay?” mom uttered back while squeezing me with a hug. “Please don’t be the kind of girl we talked about Daphne, you promised you won’t be one of those college kids” dad emphasized the word kid he then joined me and mom with our hug. For a moment, I can’t think of a reply as tears were strolling down my cheeks. “I love you, mom, dad” I finally replied My door opened. Nate and Tasha, my two siblings, were standing by the door waiting for a signal for them to join. I motioned my head for approval and they finally joined the moment. “I love you guys so much” I was crying while repeating this. “Don’t worry, I’ll come over if I ever get into an argument with mom” Tasha jokes. We all laughed together. “We better get going, we have a house to unload” dad jokingly suggested while detaching himself from the hug. “Yeah, whatever” I replied wiping my tears. We finally unloaded my stuff in the unit my parents got me, unlike any other college newbie my parents got me an apartment near Stanford University. They know that I won’t be able to focus if I ever had a roommate. Just that thought of someone else using my hairbrush, borrowing my pen or shoes and whatever, call me whatever you want, I just can’t stand it. Also, my parents are quite paranoid about the thought of me being the kind of person they least thought I'd become. Drinking, smoking, failing, having a boyfriend that I’ll completely lose my mind to, and drag myself down to the hell hole. They stayed until 6p.m, we somehow managed to stroll around, we found my labyrinth which is the library and went to check where the grocery store is, as well as some of the food stalls. I felt blank when they left, probably mixed emotions because I somehow dreamed of being independent. It's just that I'm probably experiencing this thing they called separation anxiety, this is the first time I'm going to be alone. I took a deep breath I contemplated whether I should unpack, and start decorating or should I just go and take a rest. I scanned through Netflix while eating the leftover sushi that we had a while ago. I found nothing that interests me at the moment on Netflix. So, I headed on to youtube and typed in How to survive your first day in University. I found some aesthetic vlogs which are soothing enough to divert my current state of emotion. When the video ended I decided to take a bath, after taking a shower I took my journal, grabbed my hoodie, and went up to the rooftop. "Woah" I uttered while shivering It's really cold up here. I should have worn my pajama instead of shorts. I finally settled in and rested my back on the skylight window. I opened my journal and started writing. Today, I was feeling everything. It's day 2 of my independence. I have one more week to settle in. I turned on my speaker and played Perfect Day. I started pulling out my stuff in my storage box, I started with my study table which my dad assembled. Then on my work table, I placed my yarn holders and mounted them on my wall, took out my cutting tools and settled it inside the drawers, grabbed the special papers I'm using for my business, and everything else just followed through, like my mind is in sync with my body and it just knows what it's supposed to do. ******* Finally done with my work and study area. I rested on the floor because I'm half germaphobe, I can't stand feeling all dirty and just lay on my bed. I got up and took a bath. I felt my stomach grumble so I decided to head out and grab some sushi, it's the best sushi I tasted here so far. I can have it every day. It's nice walking alone, listening to music, and scanning the place. When I finally reached the sushi store, I ordered my favorite California maki. I didn't realize he was talking to me. "Sorry, what?" I uttered while pulling my earphones out my ear. "Eat here or to-go?" he asked once again "Oh, to-go, please. Thank you" I replied He handed me the buzzer and I mouthed a thank you. I waited on the empty table and started scrolling on my phone. Bzzzzzzz… bzzzzzz… I stood up to take my order and made my way back to my unit, still listening to my playlist. When I was searching for my keys in my pocket I felt something… My eyes went big and I was dumbfounded. "Goodness gracious! I forgot to pay" I went running down the stairs and accidentally bumped someone. "Woah, Woah, easy there" he uttered while smiling. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I yelled while rushing through the door. I was panting when I arrived and the chef looked surprised. I handed the bill while catching my breath. He was staring at me as if nothing happened, I supposed he didn't notice as well. "I ordered California maki sushi a while ago and I forgot to pay,” I said with embarrassment He grinned “It's free. I treat my first-time customers, so no big deal" he informed I didn't know how to respond. In my mind all I could think of is that this was business, why would he do such a thing. "Are you sure? Just take it please, it's my second time, I ate here with my family last night." I insisted "But now, you're alone. It's not a big loss don't worry, just enjoy your sushi," he replied with a smirk "Uhm okay, thank you, and I'm sorry", still reluctant. I head back to my unit still confused. I know I should be happy but there was something suspicious with his smirk. I reached the entrance door and I saw a guy sitting on the stairs but I didn’t mind. So, I walked past him. “First day in college next week huh?” he uttered unexpectedly I looked sideways, thinking he must be talking to someone, but he turned his face at me. Good damn those eyes… “Uhh, you’re talking to me?” I asked while pointing my finger at myself. “No I was talking to the plant” he uttered with a hiss “Oh, okay, have a good talk then, offer some water too, it’s about to wither” I replied annoyingly “Do you take jokes seriously?” he questioned while I continued to walk up the stairs. I stopped and smirked. When I turned around he was standing and staring at me, probably waiting for my reply. “No, but you may be a psycho trying to be friends with me because you know I’m new here and when you finally earn my trust you’ll start to plot your murder,” I replied like I was rapping it. He laughed “Good point, but don’t worry, I will not try to murder you, just yet” he smirked and blinked. What on earth is this guy? Why does he look so good? "Whatever stalker" I uttered making my way up He didn't respond so I thought he had just given up, then I noticed footsteps behind me. I slowly tried to check and I found him following me. "Excuse me? Are you following me?" I interrogated He smirked and ignored my question and walked past me he was headed toward the elevator. "In case you haven't noticed, you're not the only one living in this building" he stated as a matter of fact. I was dumbfounded when the elevator closed. JERK! Ding! I hopped into the next elevator. I finally felt comfort and relief when I entered my room. Ahhh… my room… finally, this is a dream! It's so bright… It's so clean… It smells amazing… I'm finally living inside my Pinterest profile. Although I haven't finished decorating and organizing it, it already feels right. But a thought suddenly snapped. I'm still pissed off that he left me dumbfounded like I'm stupid. Like he's the boss of me. Well, he's not, and I will not even look into his eyes when we cross each other's path again. I'm pissed off. So, I opened my laptop and went to Pinterest to calm myself. Pinterest is my haven, I can go by the day not talking to anyone as long as I’m feeding my aesthetic.