Stolen Innocence

Opening my locker door, I got lost in my own thoughts. I wondered if everyone would know what had happened, gossip travels fast nowadays, thanks to Social media. Nothing was private anymore, people put it all over the internet, even if it wasn’t about their own lives. I sighed as I stood there, wondering what everyone would be saying about me. Shifting around my books in my locker, I grabbed out the ones I needed for my first couple of classes. As I went to shut my locker door, I couldn’t help but look at the two photos I had pinned up. They made my smile, but they also made me sad. The first was a photo of me with my best friend ‘Ella Harris’- We had known each other for as long as I could remember. My mum and Ella’s Mum had known each other forever. They had so much history together and shared so many memories. They went to grade school together, they graduated high school together, they even fell pregnant around the same time. Most of my childhood photos had Ella in them, both of our families were really close. Every time we were together there was nothing but smiles, happiness and laughter. People often thought we were sisters, because we looked alike and we were inseparable. We dressed alike, and had similar features, the only difference was I was taller then her, and we had different coloured eye; mine are blue, hers are green. God I miss her. There was a note under the photo that said; “To Emily, I’m going to miss you, always remember I am here for you and I love you. Love forever Ella xx” Reading it made me get a lump in the back of my throat, my eyes got fuzzy and I felt the urge to cry. I wish Ella was here right now, to give me one of her awesome hugs, but she wasn’t, and I felt lost without her. A couple of months ago Ella’s parents moved away for work. It all happened so fast, one minute she was living a few door away from me, and we together most of the day. Now she was hours away. It’s different dealing with daily life without her physically here. I miss seeing her face everyday. I feel like they took a part of me when they moved, and it was hard to feel ‘normal’ again. Even though we talk everyday- several times a day. Its still not the same. We stalk each other through social media, text messages and phone calls. But It’s just not the same anymore. I felt my eyes begin to form some tears, so I shift my eyes to the other photo; It was a photo of my boyfriend, Colin Armstrong. I don’t know whether I should call him my boyfriend anymore, our relationship had become complicated. We had been dating for just over six months, but things between us had gotten awkward and complex lately. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do anymore. I didn’t know if I was happy or how I felt anymore. He says he loves me and all the rest, but I don’t know If I feel the same way. The more I thought about it, the more I realised how we are two completely and opposite people. I found myself questioning lately; why we were together. Colin is the ‘good-looking popular boy’ that every girl wants. He has a solid build, with soft golden brown coloured hair. His eye were a mysterious deep dark brown colour, sometimes they even looked black. He could have any girl in the town that he wanted. I don’t know why he wanted to be with me in the first place, his family are well know around town, they owned a lot of realestate, and were also known for their wealth. Which made the girls want him more. I never can understand why most girls are so materialistic. Money and love are two different things. I already knew I was the odd one out, because I was the only girl, in our grade at school that hadn’t had s*x yet, I honestly didn’t understand the big deal in it. I never seen it as a race to sleep with a guy, and I never understood why it was anyone else’s business. That’s why I was shocked when he first showed interest in me. At first his personality was warm and friendly. He would constantly flirt with me, and to be honest I liked it. He made me feel special; buying me flowers and little gifts. It was his charm that caught my attention. He acted so sweet and kind. Flashing forward to now- Our relationship was nothing like that anymore. He wasn’t the same person I first fell in love with. He was becoming pushy about taking our relationship further, and having s*x. But I really wasn’t ready to take it that far yet. Things had gotten really complicated ever since I rejected him the last week. I didn’t mean to upset him, or hurt his ego. I never expected his reaction to be so serious either. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realise that I never done anything wrong. It kept playing over and over in my head, like it was on repeat; We were having a heated make out session in his bedroom, which we had done many times before, things were more steamy and heated then usual. It went from us laying down kissing, to him on top of me, groping my breasts, and grinding himself hard against me. I let it go for a little while, but he started to get a little too rough. I could feel his hard-on digging into my leg, it was actually hurting. I didn’t say anything until I felt his hand reach up under my skirt and within a split second he was trying to pull my underwear down. I felt nervous, and a wave of fear came over me, and I suddenly found myself huffing and puffing saying; “Please, stop Cole” I panted breathlessly, trying to gently push him off me, But he ignored me, and proceeded to forcibly pull my panties down, I tried to cross my legs as I felt his hand touch the top of my pubic area. He was moving his hand down more, and I freaked out. Suddenly, somehow I managed to shove him off the top of me, and I jumped up so quickly that it made my head spin. My stomach was churning, and I felt sick. I yelled at him angrily; “I told you to STOP Cole!” I stood there breathless and afraid, as I fixed my underwear, and pulled my skirt back down. I realised I was shaking a little. Colin jumped up and was standing on the other side of his bed. His breathing was laboured and the look on his face was complete and utter rage. I had never seen that kind of look on his face before. His eyes didn’t look brown anymore, they looked black. He clenched his fist, and suddenly begun screaming at me, “Are you f*****g serious Emily! Your going take it that far, and get me hard as f**k, then tell me NO! You’re a f*****g JOKE! You f*****g c**k-tease!” His face was bright red as he hollered at me. I didn’t know what to say, and before I had a chance to say anything, he grabbed the lamp off his bedside table and threw it at the wall. It smashed and shattered everywhere, putting a big hole in the wall. I jumped back and let out a scream and squinted my eyes. He didn’t stop, he began throwing everything within his reach around the room. Things were flying around smashing, while he kept screaming. I was petrified, I wanted to run, but he was standing in-front of the door. I dropped to the floor, and curled my knees up, hugging them with my head down. Hoping he wasn’t going to hurt me, or throw something at me. I was hyperventilating while I sat there rocking back and forth. I couldn’t breathe properly, I was petrified. Suddenly I heard loading banging, I lifted my head and seen the door getting kicked open. I didn’t know what was going on until I seen Colins brother Ricky bust through the doorway. It happened so fast, Ricky kicked the door open and with in a second he grabbed Colin by the back of the neck, he twisted one of his arms up behind his back. It happened so fast. Colin was now grunting in pain, trying to free himself from Ricky’s grip, but Ricky didn’t budge. “Let me the f**k go Ricky!” Cole hissed through his gritted teeth. “What the f**k do you think your doing?” Ricky growled a him “You disrespectful little bastard” He snarled as he looked around the room he noticed me sitting on the ground, with tears falling down my face. He kept a tight grip around Cole’s neck, his face was turning red. Ricky dragged him to the door and push him out, “Get the f**k out and don’t come back till you’ve calmed down” I heard Ricky tell Cole. I quickly got up and grabbed all my things and shoved everything in my school bag. I jumped when I heard, “Are you okay Emily?” Ricky asked me softly, I could tell his concern was genuine and he had a gentle look on his face, I nodded as I continued to cry. He walked over closer to me and gently but his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, and tried to smile. “Are you sure your okay? Colin is a d**k-bag” He said, I looked a up at him and forced a smile, Ricky was a Nineteen, and was studying a business course. Looking up at him I realised how different they were, Cole and him were complete opposites, they didn’t even look like brothers. Ricky had light blonde brownish hair and bright green eyes. “Let me drive you home Emily. Please. So I know your safe” Ricky offered concerned “It’s okay Ricky, Ill just walk” I was embarrassed, “Please Emily, it’s the least I can do. I’ll feel better knowing you made it home safely.” He politely insisted. “Are you sure?” I asked nervously, “I’m sure, besides you live over near the skate park don’t you?” He asked. And I nodded, “Cool, I’m going over there to see meet mates anyways, so its not a hassle, honestly” he smiled. His face seemed a lot warmer then Cole’s, he seemed a lot more nicer too, I nodded and agreed to the lift. The truth is, I didn’t really want to be seen walking around town crying. Rumours spread fast when you live in a little town. Everyone seems to know more about your life then you do. Apparently. The drive home with complete silence, Ricky tried to make a conversation with me, but all I done was quietly sob, and wipe tears from my eyes. I really wasn’t in the mood to talk. All I could think about was what just happened; I felt like I didn’t even know who Cole was. I felt so ashamed over what had happened, I managed to say thank you to Ricky, before I got out of the car and ran upstairs. I knew my parents would be home soon so I wanted to have a shower and stop crying before they got back. They didn’t need to know about this, it was embarrassing.