Blessed & Broken

Chapter 19

I quietly walked into the house, trying not to wake anyone. The soft glow of a reading lamp slightly illuminated the darkened family room. My mom looked up from her book and closed it when she saw me. The corners of her lips went up ever so slightly. “How was your night, Kal?”

I smiled, thinking back on the evening. It was good.” She smiled and said, “Yeah?” I nodded my head. I sat on the ottoman that was placed at the foot of the chair where she was seated.  I told her how grand the night was and how wonderful the speaker was. I even threw in the part about Brooke Mackey.

Mom was deep in a thoughtful silence as she listened to me. When I was through, the quietness continued for a moment. She looked over to me and softly asked, “What are you doing, Kal?” I knew this was coming.

“I don’t know, Ma”, my voice snapped in irritation. I got up from where I was seated. “What about Ian?”, she pleaded. I threw my hands up. “I don’t know? I think it’s over, Mom. We haven’t talked. I think it’s time that I moved on.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “But with Luke?”, she asked. 

I could feel my annoyance level rising. “He’s different now, Mom.” I knew that she wouldn’t understand. “All I know is that if feels good to have someone care about me again.” 

She leaned forward to emphasize herself with concern. “But I care about you, Gemma and...” I snapped at her again. “It’s not the same, Mom!” I tried to calm myself in the silence we shared. “I know”, she whispered.

She slowly got up from her chair and walked over to me. She had glitz of tears in her eyes. “You’re right, Kali”, she said softly. “It’s not the same.” I bowed my head in guilt with being upset with her.

“I just want to make sure that you are making the right choices for you, Honey.” I shook my head as it hung low. “It was just one night”, I whispered. She cradled her hand to the side of my face. “I just want you to be happy”, she said softly. She kissed my forehead and I turned and walked away. I wanted this night to be over.

When I got up to my room, I took off my shoes and slipped out of my gown, in exchange for something more comfortable. I sat at my vanity and looked in the mirror. I ran my fingers across the clear shimmering diamonds that draped around my neck. They were cool and smooth to the touch.

I placed the necklace and earrings back into their felt lined case and closed the lid tight. I opened my jewelry box, pulled out the necklace of Ian’s, and put it around my neck. It felt like home to me.

I went and sat in my bed and thought about how different Luke was. How in a small way, he made me feel alive again. The truth was, he made my mind bearable to deal with. I still thought about Ian, but I didn’t hurt so much.

Now that I was alone for the night, thoughts were able to consume me. My life was such a mystery now. What was going to happen? The thought scared the s**t out of me. Ian and I had it all planned out together. Now, I was going to have to complete this journey by myself. The unknown was frightening. All I wanted to do was survive. Thank goodness the day was so busy, because sleep came quickly.

The next morning, I was awoken by someone tapping me incessantly on the outer part of my thigh. It felt like a freaking woodpecker and I was its tree. “Kalia”, the cheery voice announced. It kept tapping me. “Kali, good morning sunshine. Up, up, up!”

I opened one eye to find that Gemma was the culprit. “What?”, I asked in a groggy voice.  I sat up in bed. I could see the sarcasm all over her face through the sleep in my eyes. “Good morning”, she announced again. I looked at her. My facial expression asking, “What do you want?”

She plopped down on my bed with a forced smile. “Well, I had a great night. Eric and I got a pizza and watched a good movie”, her voice fast. Then her face went flat as she looked at me. “Now, you!”, she demanded.

“Oh, man”, I said in dread. “I already did this s**t with my mom last night, I’m not about to do it with you, too.” I got up from bed and started to make my way to the restroom.

Gemma got up from the bed and ran over to get in front of me. “Oh, yes you are”, she said, stopping me so I couldn’t go any further. I looked at her confused, not saying a word. She had never been this assertive with me before. 

“Oh, come on, Kali! Luke?” She threw her hands up in the air. “I get that you need to move on, but with Luke? I really don’t think that you are firing on all cylinders right now.” I folded my arms in defense. “Did you forget about high school or do you need me to remind you?”, she asked with her teeth gritted together.

She was really starting to get under my skin. Especially since I just woke up. “It’s so easy for you to say, isn’t it?”, I said sarcastically. “You have Eric in your life. You have someone to sleep next to every night, which I think may be illegal in the religious community seeing as the two of you aren’t married, but what do I know?”

She looked at me with pursed lips. “We aren’t talking about me, Kalia. We are talking about you.” I stood taller. “Oh yeah? Well, I’m done talking about this”, I said as I walked around her and went into the bathroom.

I took a deep breath and stood in the restroom, against the counter. I heard Gemma huff off and go downstairs. I slowly crept back into my bedroom and went to look out the window to see her drive off.

I can’t believe this was all happening. Bombarded by both my mom and Gemma. It was one freaking date. It wasn’t even a date. All I did was accompany him to a fundraiser.

My phone stayed quiet the whole day. I knew Gemma had to be pissed at me, but I didn’t care. She had no right to pass judgment on what I did.

I was so grateful for the next day to come. It meant that it was Monday and I was able to escape with teaching. My children were a wonderful distraction to life.

The sound of their laughter made me so happy. These kids were my savior from my life, and I loved all of them dearly.

That night when I got home, I walked into the kitchen where mom and George were. “You had a delivery today, Kal. It’s over there on the table”, George said and titled his head in the direction of where it was. I walked over to the table and spread before me was a massive flower arrangement made of red roses and pink orchids.

My mouth opened in awe as I saw the lavish blossoms that sprawled out. I picked up the card that laid within the flowers that read:

Dear Kalia,

This bouquet is nowhere near as beautiful as you are, but it was the closest that I could get.

Love,

Luke

“What the hell can of worms did I just open?”, I thought to myself. My mom walked over next to me. “Those are really beautiful”, she stated. Inside I was panicking. She gently placed her hand on my arm, before giving me a soft smile and walking away.

Later that night, the phone rang. I was hoping that it was Gemma. I wanted to tell her that she was upset about something that was just silly.

“Hello”, I answered. “Did you get the flowers?”, Luke asked on the other end. Oh, no. I forgot to call him and thank him. “Yes, I did. They are stunningly beautiful. Thank you so much.”

“I’m glad that you liked them”, he said. “It is just a little thank you for attending the gala with me.” That was a pretty big thank you. “It was my pleasure”, I said back. “Goodnight, Kal.”  The phone clicked as he hung up.

Now, I just felt like complete s**t. I couldn’t do anything right. Gemma was pissed at me; my mom was concerned for me. Now, here I am, completely forgetting my manners for not thanking Luke for the flowers that he didn’t have to send me. I had just about had it. Deep down, I was almost relieved that mom and George were going out of town tomorrow for a week. I needed time to myself to sort everything out that was going on internally with me.

Friday night had come and I had just made myself cozy on the couch, when I heard the doorbell ring. “Ugh”, I moaned. I got up and answered the door. “Luke”, I said surprised. “Hey, Kal”, he said, flashing his smile at me.

I was taken back by him being on my front porch. “Come in”, I said as I held the door open for hm. He stepped into the house and we stood there looking at each other. “Do you have plans for tonight?”, he asked. Yes, relaxing on the couch. “No”, I lied. “I was just lounging around.”

His smile widened. “Good, why don’t you go get dressed and I’ll take you to dinner.” I wasn't expecting this. “Um...Ok”, I said, returning his smile.

“I’ll go get changed.” I went upstairs and started going through the clothes hanging in my closet. I was trying to remember what Luke was wearing so that I could dress accordingly. Jeans.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and slid them onto my legs. I put on a gray pair of knee-high boots and a matching gray sweater. I didn’t have time to do my hair, so I just threw it up into a messy bun.

Before I went back downstairs, I took a deep breath. I need to stop overthinking things. To hell with everyone and what they thought. This was my life.

Luke held the door open for me, so that I could get into his sleeked-out car. It smelled so clean and new. The leather that covered the interior, shined.

He drove us to a sports eatery where we shared some wings and beer. He talked about business and I tried my best to follow. Once again, I found myself just grinning and nodding.

I will say that the rest of the conversation was good. Luke also talked about all of his travels that he had been on since we graduated. I found it fascinating when he spoke about when he went and visited the pyramids of Egypt. 

At the end of the night, Luke walked me to my door. We both smilds as we faced each other. “Thank you for dinner, tonight. It was a nice surprise.” He slid his hands into his pockets and said, “You’re welcome.”

We stood there looking at each other for a few quiet moments. He pulled his hands back out from his pockets and slowly came close to me. He gently placed his hand to the side of my face and softly spoke, “I have really missed you, Kalia.” My smile faded as I looked into his eyes. This felt so good. I didn’t want it to feel good, but it did.

He leaned in closer. I couldn’t stop this now even if I wanted to. His touch felt incredible. I slowly closed my eyes. “Kalia, you don’t have to do this”, I thought to myself. I could feel Luke's breath upon my lips. There was still time to pull away.

The skin of his lips brushed against mine. All of my thoughts disappeared. I went in the rest of the way to finalize the embrace. I had gone to the point of no return. Our lips parted as the kiss deepened. My body began to heat up as my fingertips ran along his chest.

The kiss ended and we caught our breaths. Luke gave me a few more soft kisses before he whispered, “Goodnight, Kali.” I smiled at him and returned his well wishes.

From that point on, Luke and I stayed in touch almost every day. I began to look forward to his calls, although, he mostly talked about his business and the people he wined and dined for the day, I was finally starting to feel normal again.

One night, the doorbell rang. A smile spread across my face, wondering if it was Luke to surprise me again. I opened the door. Standing on the porch with her hands in her jacket pocket, was Gemma.  

“Hi”, I greeted her with an unsure tone. “Hi”, she responded back. I looked at her with confusion. “Why did you ring the doorbell? Why didn’t you just come in like you always do?”

She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to interrupt anything if you had company.” I rolled my eyes at her and said, “Get in the house.”

We both walked into the kitchen, where Gemma picked a stool at the counter and sat upon it. I grabbed two drinks out of the fridge and set one in front of her.

She sighed and began to speak. “Look, Kal. I’m sorry for what I did.” I took a sip from my drink as she spoke and I continued to listen. “I should have been there for you, instead of being angry.”

I nodded and told her, “I appreciate that”. She then asked, “I mean, it was only one time, right?”, she asked. I looked away from her, not knowing what to say. She knew what that meant.

She slowly closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them back up and looked at me. “Are you guys dating now?”, she asked softly. “I don’t know”, I honestly told her.

“Do you want to date him?”, she inquired. “I don’t know”, I answered. “I’m just letting things happen as they go.”

She looked at me worried. “Gem, he really has changed. He isn’t the same as when we were back in high school. I mean, being with Eric, he must have taught you forgiveness?”, I asked.

She gave me a look like, “Good try”, but didn’t say it. She shook her head slowly from side to side and said, “I may not agree with it or like it, but I hate not talking to my best friend more.” I gave her a crooked smile and said, “Me too.”

I leaned down and gave her a hug. “So how are you do...”, she went to ask when the doorbell rang. We both looked at each other with our foreheads creasing.

She walked with me to the door as I went to open it. To my surprise, it was Luke. He smiled brightly, stepped in the house, and kissed me. I felt awkward with Gemma standing right there. 

Luke then realized that she was in our presence. He looked at her and asked, “Gemma?” She gave a closed mouth smile. “Long time, no see”, he stated. She clasped her hands behind her back. “It’s been a while”, she responded with a slight nod.

He looked to me and asked, “I just dropped by to see if you wanted to go to dinner?” His eyes shifted to Gemma and he said, “Of course, you are invited too.”

I smiled wide at her, hoping that she would notice how generous that was of him to invite her. Gemma tilted her head in a bow. “Thank you, but Eric and I have plans.” She looked at the clock on the wall and said, “In fact, I have to go.”

She stepped over and gave me a quick hug. “Call me later”, she said. “Ok”, I promised.