Pretending at sunrise

Pretending at sunrise The hostel room noise was the first thing to greet me—alarm clocks blaring, footsteps stomping, voices bouncing off the peeling walls. I woke up with a fake smile, the kind that hides tired eyes and restless nights. I’m Emily, and university is nothing like the dream I once painted in my head. It’s chaos in a dorm, a rush to classes I don’t want to attend, and mornings filled with noise I can’t escape. School was never my thing, never will be. But here I am, pretending to be okay with it all. Inside class, the feeling of not belonging pressed heavy on my chest. Desks clattered, voices overlapped, but none of it included me. My anxiety flickered beneath the surface—an old ache, like a bruise I couldn’t stop poking. Being around people was exhausting. Some days, I wished I could be invisible; most days, I pretended I was. Then the door swung open. Someone walked in—confident, head held high, glowing beneath the harsh classroom lights. A 200-level student, here to make some announcement about rehearsal, but it might as well have been a grand performance. There was something theatrical in every movement, dramatic in every gesture—a natural among theatre kids. The room shifted, conversations pausing as if a spell had been cast. While they talked, I tried not to stare. Failed. My thoughts scrambled, searching for words—gorgeous, striking, light catching on features that made me forget the crowd, the walls, the ceiling I counted every morning. I wasn’t sure if anyone else noticed how this person filled the space, but in that moment, my exhaustion softened around the edges. Compliments tumbled in my mind, too many to choose just one, none of them strong enough. For the first time since arriving here, something besides my sadness held my attention. Maybe it was the drama, the sparkle, or just how this person owned the room. Whatever it was, I didn’t want to look Even after they left the room, I found myself searching the crowd for any trace of their energy. For the first time since coming here, I wondered if something unexpected was waiting for me beyond the routine mornings and fake smiles. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow would bring something different. Or someone.